Shell With No Soul
by yesfangirlingismylife
Summary: Tris was in juvy for about a year. She's had quite the high school experience, just not a good one. She's part of the San Francisco Symphony at the age of 23 playing bass, a big achievement for being that young. Leaving her 'friends' for a topnotch musician school, she loves her new life there. But there's Four, making it 10 times more confusing. (First 10 chapters high school)
1. Chapter 1

**Shell With No Soul**

_Check out my other story, 'I Try' if you like this one :)_

**Tris P.O.V.**

I almost feel bad for the kids at my new school. _Almost. _For having to deal with me, and all. Hopefully they aren't preppy. Then they'll really hate me. But who cares? I certainly don't. I gave up on the thought of people actually liking me. But with my past, they won't want to get involved with a criminal. After all, I did spend my sophomore year of high school in juvenile detention. Also known as "young people prison." But that's not important. As of now, I'm riding on my motorcycle to Shedd High School, and it's my first day of my senior year, as well as everyone else's. I moved here around mid-July. My mom works for social services, traveling for what purposes, I don't know, so she's hardly ever home. As for my father… Let's not talk about that. So, the reasoning for getting in trouble, I have no one watching over me. Nope, not even my brother, he's off at Stanford University studying to be a doctor. I bet you can guess who the golden child is. I don't get in trouble for the attention, no. I do it for the thrill in my veins, and adrenaline coursing through me. I can barely even process what I'm doing. But as for what I did to get into juvy… That was different.

As I walk through the parking lot of bickering teens and gossiping girls, Lies of Beautiful People by Sixx A.M. comes on 99.7, the local rock station. I turn it up louder than life, literally. If I didn't have my eyes open I wouldn't be aware of anything around me. I am aware of the intense stares I'm getting, but I keep walking along. It's probably because I'm wearing all black and my music is being heard all the way in Indiana.

I already told myself I wasn't making any friends. I only have one, and that's Lynn from juvy. She was awesome. She got out a month before me, and moved somewhere here in Chicago. But making friends is too risky, so I decided that I'm not. Simple as that.

I turn my music down as I approach the front desk. "Beatrice Prior." I wince at my real name, it truly is awful.

"…Here we go." She hands me my schedule. As my eyes scan over it, she says, "Would you like for me to call someone the show you around? Maybe make a few friends?" She grabs the phone.

"No." I walk away. My locker is number 486, all the way on the other end of the school.

As I get my locker situated, I hear a girly voice say, "Are you new?"

"Yes." I don't bother looking up from my bookbag.

"Do you need help finding your way around?"

"Nope," I say, popping the p.

"Well…" she says awkwardly. I finally look up, annoyed, and see a pretty girl with mocha skin, good complexion, short black hair, and crooked bottom teeth and straight top ones. "Um, let me know if you need anything. My name is Christina."

"Okay." I walk away, towards Earth Science. The girl, Christina, catches up with me. I discreetly roll my eyes.

"Where you headed?"

"Earth Science," I say, jaded.

"Me too. Can I see your schedule?" she asks elatedly.

"Maybe another time," I dismiss her as I walk inside. I sit in the very back, farthest away from the teacher's desk and almost everyone else.

Christina plops down next to me. I internally groan. "So, what's your name?"

"Tris," I say, disinterested.

"Well, Tris, tell me about yourself."

This girl is insistent isn't she? "I like music," I say blandly.

"You're a very closed-off person aren't you?" she suspiciously eyes me.

"Sure am." I cross my arms and give her a sideways glance.

"What'd you do that was so bad?" she narrows her eyes.

"Do you really want to know the answer to that question?" I ask.

"Yeah. I do."

I raise my eyebrows. "Good luck with that," I deride.

"What's your last name?" she suddenly asks.

"Why, so you can look me up on the internet later?"

"Maybe," she shrugs. "Or I could possibly be an undercover spy wanting to know your real name," she chuckles but I keep a straight face.

Then three idiots come in the room arguing about the FIFA. "No! Argentina should have won. I will always be on their side," a guy with dark-blue eyes says.

"Ignore them. They always talk about," she dramatically pauses. "Sports."

Then I decide to say to the boys, "Actually, yes, Argentina should have given more. Lionel Messi had a great game. I really felt bad for Brazil though because Neymar. Well, that and they lost 7-1 against Germany in their home country. How much would that suck? And can you believe Pepe's red card against Thomas Muller though? Pepe always has a temper. He's such a douche," I finish and they all gape.

"But… you're a _girl,_" a handsome boy with bronze skin says. The other one is most likely his brother. "You're a girl and you know all of that. This is illogical!" he grins.

"Could you be any more sexist? That's such a dick-ish move. What are you going to say next, that I throw like a girl? 'Cause I'll prove you wrong about that too," I say and then roll my eyes at him.

I face forward and Christina says, "Uriah, you're such an idiot. That's Zeke, Uriah's brother, and Four, Tris."

I don't look towards them. I just say, "Wonderful."

"Is Tris a nickname?" I think Four asks, you can by his voice.

"Is Four a nickname?" I shoot back.

"Touché."

"Where the hell is the teacher already?" I mumble, but apparently Zeke hears me.

"She's always like ten minutes late. And they bell hasn't rung yet, so we still have about fifteen minutes left."

I don't respond, I just take my phone out of my pocket and turn on my music. I take out my notebook and sketch. I feel someone take the right earbud out of my ear, it's Chris. I just snatch it back and turn it up. I hear someone shout something in my ear.

"What do you want?" I ask angrily.

"You listen to Metallica?" Uriah asks enthusiastically.

"Yeah?" I shrug and continue drawing with my music on.

"Tris!" someone yells.

I take my earbuds out and say, "What?"

"Teacher's coming," Zeke warns. I wrap up my earbuds around my phone in the middle of _Master of Puppets _by Metallica.

"What's your favorite song by them?" Uriah asks.

"Master of Puppets."

"Mine is Harvest of Sorrow."

"Magnificent," I say sarcastically.

"So—" Four begins, but is soon cut off.

"Class!" A woman with watery grey eyes says, "My name is Mrs. Matthews, and we have a new student this year, her name is B—"

"Tris," I interrupt.

"Well, Tris, tell us about yourself."

"I like music," I repeat what I said to Christina.

"Anything else?" she says, motioning for me to go on.

"I like _rock _music."

"Okay then. What bands?"

She doesn't know when to stop, does she? "Metallica, Apocalyptica, Seether."

"Okay. On with the lesson…" she begins rambling on about the Earth, trees, water conservation, etc. It goes on and on and on.

Finally it's time for orchestra, it'll probably be the one and only part of school I enjoy. I brought my bass yesterday to school so I didn't have to haul it here this morning. I have my mom's bass at home, too, so I can keep that one here. I take it out of its bag. It is a shiny black, unlike the others, whose are wooden colored. We get a few songs, pretty easy looking, if you ask me. I've played it my whole life, even though it's about twice my size. Sometimes I feel like a bass myself. I have a shell on the outside, but I'm hollow on the inside. I have become a shell with no soul.

I'm currently waiting in the lunch line for a PB&J. I carry my phone with me at all times, so I unravel my earbuds and put on my Seether playlist I illegally downloaded. I finally get my sandwich and sit in the corner of the cafeteria alone. When I finish my sandwich and lean back in my chair. I close my eyes momentarily and feel the table shaking. I open my eyes to see Christina.

"Want to sit with us?" she points over to a table with a few people.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Fine." She gets up, still smiling, but this time evilly.

I put my earbuds back in and start reading on my phone. I feel a shakier movement from when Christina sat down. I look up to see Four grinning. I roll my eyes quite visibly, hoping he gets the message. I go back to reading and feel him get up. _Thank god. _And then he sits next to me. Glorious. I slide over to the next chair. He scoots with me. I scoot. He scoots. I run out of room to move.

"What the hell do you want?" I ask with venom.

"Want to sit with us?"

"No! Go away!" I wave him off.

"I'm okay," he annoyingly shrugs. He takes my left earbud across my body. He nods. "Nirvana. I like them." I don't bother responding. I just snatch my earbud back from his ear and walk to the other end of the table.

"Follow me and see what happens." Boy, if looks could kill…

"What're you going to do? Slap me?" he smirks arrogantly.

I get up from my new spot and walk to my old, but I don't stand up. "Fine. I'll go with you." I roll my eyes. He stands up. I punch him in the stomach then grab his wrist and flip him.

"What the hell?" he asks once he catches his breath.

"Leave," I glare.

He coughs. "Fine." I just now realize the entire cafeteria is staring at us and our little exchange. Except one thing. They're laughing. At Four. Probably for getting flipped by a tiny girl like me. Whoever thinks I'm weak is very _very_ wrong, obviously. Looks can be deceiving.

Suddenly I feel a large rumble at my table. I look up and see Christina, Four, Uriah, Zeke, two guys who I don't recognize, and two girls I don't recognize. I angrily roll my eyes and keep reading. I don't even care anymore.

Then I hear a "Tris, Metallica sucks!" from Zeke.

Now this gets my attention. I rip out my earbuds. "You son of a motherf—"

"Kidding! I just needed to get your attention. This is Al—"

"I don't want to be friends with any of you!"

"Not even me?" I voice says behind me.

I whip around and see Lynn. "Oh my god!" I hug her. "It's been so long."

"I know. So how you been?" she sits down, pushing Four out of his seat.

"Eh. I got these idiots bugging me."

"You realize we aren't going to stop." I look up and see Four saying that, smirking.

"You guys can try, and try, and try, but you do _not_ want to be friends with me. You don't know my background, or my history with the law, so trust me. I will get you into trouble, that's guaranteed. You want to know my background? My full name is Beatrice Prior. Look it up, you'll find out what I've done. And you'll sure as hell change your mind." I get up and walk out. I have break fifth period, so I walk out to the football stadium bleachers without Lynn or anybody else. I try to clear my head of my thoughts, but it doesn't work. They will most likely leave me alone after they find out about me.

But one can only hope.

**Four P.O.V. **

_(__**A/N**__ I hardly ever do the same situation with different P.O.V's so bare with me, here.)_

I wake up to the sound of a blaring alarm. The first day of school. Great. I love my friends and all, but _god_ are people annoying. Girls don't necessarily throw themselves at me, just lightly—or heavily—hit on me.

I get up and take a shower. I throw on a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans. I lace up my Jordans and head out the door with my backpack hanging on my shoulders. I open the door to see Zeke and Uriah's truck waiting in my driveway. Zeke and Uriah are twins—fraternal ones. Therefore, being in the same year. I get in the back seat.

"Dude, we need to continue the discussion from last night. Germany is way better than Argentina," Zeke says.

"Woah, woah, woah. Try again Zeke. Argentina is way better than them. They got lucky."

We continue bickering all the way to school, even when we get to Earth Science.

"No! Argentina should have won. I will always be on their side," I argue.

"Actually," a pretty girl with grey-blue eyes says, "Yes, Argentina should have given more. Lionel Messi had a great game. I really felt bad for Brazil though because Neymar. Well, that and they lost 7-1 against Germany in their home country. How much would that suck? And can you believe Pepe's red card against Thomas Muller though? Pepe always has a temper. He's such a douche," she finishes and we all gape. I have never met a girl who even knows who Messi is.

"But… you're a _girl,_" Uriah says unbelievingly. "You're a girl and you know all of that. This is illogical!" he grins.

"Could you be any more sexist? That's such a dick-ish move. What are you going to say next, that I throw like a girl? 'Cause I'll prove you wrong about that too," she says sharply then rolls her eyes.

Chris says, "Uriah, you're such an idiot. That's Zeke, Uriah's brother, and Four, Tris."

"Wonderful," apparently Tris says.

"Is Tris a nickname?" I ask.

"Is Four a nickname?" she fires back without even looking at me.

"Touché."

"Where the hell is the teacher already?" she mumbles.

"She's always like ten minutes late. And they bell hasn't rung yet, so we still have about fifteen minutes left," Zeke informs.

She doesn't respond, just takes her phone out of her jeans' pocket and turns on some music. She starts drawing. Chris then snatches her earbud. _Not smart, Chris._ Tris just swipes it back.

"Tris, you like Metallica?" Uriah asks in awe. She doesn't seem to hear him, so he shouts.

"What do you want?"

"You listen to Metallica?" Uriah asks enthusiastically.

"Yeah?" she shrugs.

"Tris!" Zeke yells.

"What?" she asks, more than annoyed.

"Teacher's coming," Zeke warns.

"What's your favorite song by them?" Uriah asks once she puts her stuff away.

"Master of Puppets."

"Mine is Harvest of Sorrow."

"Magnificent," she says bitingly.

"So—" I begin to ask her where she's from, but I'm interrupted.

"Class! My name is Ms. Matthews, and we have a new student this year, her name is B—"

"Tris," she interrupts.

"Well, Tris, tell us about yourself," Ms. Matthews urges on.

"I like music."

"Anything else?"

"I like _rock _music."

"Okay then. What bands?"

"Metallica, Apocalyptica, Seether."

"Okay. On with the lesson…" She begins, but my mind travels somewhere that's not here.

What's up this Tris girl? She seems jaded. I couldn't really see us being friends, even though we both are closed off from the rest of the world. I don't really know what she is… she seems interesting, but too… how do you put it… abstract. I want to evaluate her without digging too deep. I try to figure out ways in all my classes, but before I even come up with one, it's lunch. I wonder if she'll be sitting with us… It'd give me—I mean, uh, us—a chance to figure her out.

I sit down with my lunch next to Zeke.

"Now that everyone's here," Chris says, "What are we going to do to get Tris to sit with us?"

"Why don't we just leave her alone?" I ask.

"Because. I feel bad for her. She has no friends and a bad past."

"She seems like she likes that way." I shrug.

"Four," Chris glares. "Just go along with the plan. I'm going to go over there and ask her. If that doesn't work, Four will go over and—"

"Why me?" I interrupt.

"Because you're hot, and you're single. No lonely girl can resist you."

I grumble but shut up. Chris goes over there. As I observe from afar, I can already tell Tris is bitter. Chris gets up and walks back over.

"Your turn, Four."

I roll my eyes, even though I am kind of interested. I stand up, hiking over there.

I sit down across from her, grinning. She rolls her eyes and goes back to her phone.

I get up and sit next to her. If she thinks I'm going away, she's mistaken. I'm a very stubborn person.

"What the hell do you want?" she spits out.

"Want to sit with us?"

"No! Go away!" she waves.

"I'm okay," I shrug. I take her left earbud across her body. My hand faintly touches her cheek. I nod. "Nirvana. I like them." She doesn't respond, just swipes her earbud back from my ear and walks to the other end of the table.

"Follow me and see what happens."

She looks like she wants to kill me. I have to withhold a laugh. "What're you going to do? Slap me?" I smirk.

She walks over to me, not bothering to sit down. "Fine. I'll go with you." She rolls her eyes. I start to stand up, but she punches me in the stomach then grabs my wrist then flips me. Goddamn!

"What the hell?" I ask, short of breath.

"Leave." She glares daggers at me.

I cough, still winded. The force to the ground knocked my breath out of me. "Fine."

I just now notice everyone in here is laughing at me. _Why don't you take a beating from her?! _I want to shout, but I prohibit myself.

I hobble back to my table, all of them are smirking.

"Guess you're not as tough as you thought you were," Zeke breaks the silence.

"I was caught off guard. Now show shut up and eat your cake."

Everyone eats without a sound.

"You guys!" Chrissy squeals, "If she won't come to us, we need to come to her." She grins wickedly.

"Great idea," Al says.

"Lez go!" Uriah says. We all walk over there and have a seat.

She looks up angrily rolls her eyes and keeps doing whatever she's doing on her phone.

"Tris, Metallica sucks!" Zeke says to get her assiduity.

This gets her attention, for sure. She rips her earbuds and says, "You son of a motherf—"

"Kidding! I just needed to get your attention. This is Al—" he starts introducing us.

"I don't want to be friends with any of you!" she throws her hands up in the air.

"Not even me?" a girl, Lynn, says. She's the scariest person in school, so she doesn't have any friends. Even _I'm _somewhat scared of her.

"Oh my god!" she hugs her. "It's been so long."

"I know. So how you been?" she sits down, me off my seat, literally. I fall down on the ground.

"Eh. I got these idiots bugging me."

"You realize we aren't going to stop." I say, smirking.

"You guys can try, and try, and try, but you do _not_ want to be friends with me. You don't know my background, or my history with the law, so trust me. I will get you into trouble, that's guaranteed. You want to know my background? My full name is Beatrice Prior. Look it up, you'll find out what I've done. And you'll sure as hell change your mind." She gets up and walks out, leaving Lynn with us.

"What's her deal, Lynn?" Chris asks.

"Why do you guys even care?" she brutally spits out.

"Because she's lonely. It sucks not having friends," Al says and shrugs. "I was her when I came to this school."

"You—or any one of you, for that matter—aren't anything like her. You don't know what she's been through. Go ahead and look up what she's done; you'll change your mind. Let's just say we met in juvenile detention," she finishes and walks elsewhere, back to her table, all by her lonesome.

"She was in juvy?" Will asks incredulously.

"So was Lynn, she's not that bad." I shrug.

"Yeah, but Lynn was open about what she did. Tris isn't, so that means it's something bad," Uriah says seriously.

"Since when are you thoughtful, Uriah?" Marlene asks.

He just shrugs.

"Why doesn't everyone come over to my house after school so we can look her up?" Zeke suggests.

"Should we really be prying in her background?" I ask, betwixt.

"Why, you don't?" Shauna asks.

"Well… I mean, I know what it's like when everyone wants to know everything about you, but you don't want them to perceive."

"Yeah, the mysterious Four would be perfect for the mysterious Tris. They can go on adventures together, but slowly along the way the learn more about each other and fall in love!" Uriah says. "I can see it now." His hands go up in the air. "'The Mysterious Tris and Four.' No! 'The Adventures of Fourtris.' Yes! Who's with me?" He chants, but everyone is silent, especially me.

"You are mad. Idiotic. Asinine. Demented. Shall I go on?" I say.

"No, I hear much more from Zeke every day," he whines.

The bell rings not five seconds later. I go out to the bleachers on the football field like I usually do for break. I see a girl. Tris. For now, I'll just avoid her. Our last confrontation wasn't the best. While she sits at the bottom left, I head to the top right, far as possible. Unfortunately, she feels my feet rumble through the metal of the bleachers when I'm only two stands up from her.

"W-What are you d-doing here?" She stands up nervously, almost in a defensive stance.

"I always come here for break, take it easy."

"I'll… I'll just go to the other side of the stadium." She stands up.

"Tris, hey, wait." I jog up to her and she flinches away. "You know, I wasn't really on board with the idea of looking you up on the internet. You evidently don't want us to know about it, so I respect that. I know how it feels."

"Thank you," she whispers as she looks at her shoes. "It's just really hard to trust people."

"Yeah, it's okay, I understand. But sometimes making friends is a risk you have to take." I shrug.

"Yeah… but… It's like I'm asking for drama, like I'm asking for tears. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, actually, I do. But I wouldn't trade anything in the world for what I have now. They're the ones that have got me waking up every morning. Tris, it's worth it. Trust me." She walks over to the railing above the track and rests her elbows on it, her hands holding her chin.

She shakes her head. I look into her grey-blue eyes and see that they are teary.

"Just relax—" I touch her shoulder.

"No! Don't ever say that again, and never touch me again." She races into the school.

"Was it something I said?" I say to myself sarcastically.

"Guys! C'mon!" Zeke yells from his living room.

We all come into the room through the swinging door that connects to the kitchen.

"Okay. No interruptions as I read. Okay?"

We all nod.

"_Beatrice Prior, 16, convicted of shooting her father, Andrew Prior, in self-defense. She has gotten nine months in juvenile detention in Detroit, Michigan. She claims her father has been abusing her since she was about 14. Her mother, Natalie Prior, was currently at work when this happened, and her brother, Caleb Prior, beginning his first year of college at Stanford. She says that her father was trying to rape her. That was the first time he has tried to do that, she says. She also claims that he would act perfectly fine, nice, even, to Caleb and Natalie. Beatrice divulges that he'd repeatedly throw cruel words her, saying she was worthless and was never supposed to be alive. Natalie confirmed, in fact, that she was adopted. At the time, Beatrice hadn't known that she was. But it certainly reveals the reason why he had done the things he did. Beatrice was put in juvenile detention for other various reasons, like vandalism, public fighting, and shoplifting. Beatrice will be forever scarred because of the constant reminder of her father: The scars on her back of being repeatedly whipped. However, you can't help but wonder why on Earth Andrew Prior would commit such a horrendous crime._"

"Oh my god," Christina whispers.

I almost have tears in my eyes myself. I wish I could stand up to Marcus like Tris had to Andrew. I don't feel pity, no. I feel admiration. I've only known her a day and she's the bravest person I have met.

"That's why," I whisper.

"Why what?" Zeke asks.

"I was talking to Tris at the bleachers fifth period. She started tearing up because she didn't know what to do. I said 'Just relax' and she freaked out. I think Andrew probably said it to while he was…" I refuse to say it.

"Genius! Why would you say that?" Chris smacks my head.

"How was I supposed to know?" I defend myself.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, sorry. I just can't believe… and her father…" she shakes her head.

"So we definitely need to be careful around her, okay?" I say.

"Yeah. She actually thought we'd lay off." Chris chuckles.

I smirk. "It's going to be a lot harder than that."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_I got a review saying that I'm leaning towards more hardcore music now, but I'm not. I love Metallica and Nirvana, but __THREE DAYS GRACE IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE FOREVER AND ALWAYS!_

**Tris P.O.V.**

I've officially decided that I will never make any friends. Well, with the exception of Lynn. She's the only person that'll actually understand what I've gone through. That, and she's bad-ass, so we're perfect for each other. She actually shaved her head before she went to juvy because she wanted to be treated as an equal. She was in there for shoplifting and vandalism. A lot of it. She shaved her head so they couldn't find her, but she knew she was going there at some point. She and I were the girls that nobody dared to muddle with. Not even the guys. We were only there for each other and no one in addition.

I stroll into the school parking lot on my motorcycle. I take my helmet off, swinging my hair as I do. Might I add, kind of sexily.

"Tris!" The voice is deep, too low to be Lynn's, so I keep walking. The person touches my shoulder and I immediately grab their wrist.

"I thought I told you to never touch me again," I say, deadly calm. I keep walking, but he follows. I visibly roll my eyes.

"So we read that article."

"Great, so you all will leave me alone now, right?" I ask as I work the combination on my locker.

"Nope."

I roll my eyes again. "Well I don't need your pity, but thanks," I say sarcastically.

"I don't have any pity for you." He shrugs.

"Then why do you want to be my friend?" I ask, still unloading my bookbag and not making eye contact.

"Because I admire what you did."

At this, my head snaps up. I cross my arms and look straight at him, eyes narrowing. "Oh really? And why's that?"

"Maybe someday I'll tell you." He sighs and walks away.

I shake my head and grab my materials. Four is impossible. When he says 'Someday,' in my vocabulary that means never. I refuse to let anybody in. I think already made a mistake yesterday by even saying a single word to them. I've lived my whole life with just me and my shadow, why would I need anyone now? I have Lynn, obviously, but that won't keep the idiots from bedeviling me. They'll probably give up in about a week, anyway.

I sit in the same seat I did yesterday. Ms. Matthews said we had to sit in the same seats for the rest of the year. Exuberant. I'll be surrounded by three idiots and a squealing teenage girl. For the next _nine months_. I hate everyone and everything. Except Lynn. And my mom, I guess. I've always had a soft-spot for her. And music. But that's it. Maybe Four. Ehem, what? Haha, no. I hate him too. What am I thinking? I mean I guess he's been semi-nice to me, but that doesn't mean he's completely demolishing my walls. What I mean is, 'Wow, Four is so hot, I want to have his babies.' HAHA. In your dreams. No way in hell that's ever happenin'.

I forgot my phone back in my locker. Great, now I can't listen to music and have to hear four babbling morons.

I take out my sketchbook and start working on what I started last night. It's half of my face. One side is normal, while the other is melted and burned skin. The not-so-nice side is the one on the left. It represents the old me. The one on the right, the nice one, is representing the new me. I don't want to be the girl that people are afraid of, or people hate. But I feel like that's the safer route. I won't get hurt if I don't have friends. I decide to add a singular tear on the normal side of my face. I also erase the straight face on the nice side and change it into a small smile. I leave the hair down on the depiction of my face. As I add some final touches, four people walk in. I quickly try to put away the notebook, but Chris catches my wrist and grabs it.

"Chris! I never let anyone see that! Hand it over. Now."

She finally gets to the page I was on. I can just tell by the expression on her face.

"Tris… This is amazing." The three mentally defected boys look over her shoulder and gape.

"Do you mind? I've never let anyone touch that book in my life." I try to swipe it back, but she smacks my hand away and continues to flip through the pages, thunderstruck.

"Tris, you have to show all this to Tori. She's the art teacher, if you didn't take art this year."

"I didn't take art this year." I finally am able to snatch my beloved notebook back. "But only because she wouldn't approve of what I'm drawing."

"These are amazing Tris," Four says. "But they're dark. What did the face one mean?"

"Maybe someday I'll tell you." I repeat what he'd said earlier and smile sweetly yet sarcastically.

He rolls his eyes and sits back down.

Is Four right? Is making friends worth the risk? I've asked myself that question about a thousand times, but I still can't come up with an answer.

**-Lunch-**

"Hey," Lynn says as she sits down.

"Hi. I don't know what to do about those idiots." I nod my in the direction of them.

"Just ignore them or something." She shrugs. "Or if you actually want to be friends with them, go at it."

"I've been debating on whether to or not. I mean, I have you, which is great, but… Gah. I don't know. I feel like the more friends, the more drama."

"Sometimes it's worth the risk."

"That's what Four said," I groan.

"Then do it." She shrugs.

"What about you, though?"

"There's actually this girl that I like." She blushes.

"Really?" I get excited for her.

She nods. "Her name's Jenelle."

"Well what are you waiting for? Go." I give a small smile and she leaves.

I nervously get up and walk over to their table and stand at the end.

They all look up at me questioningly.

"You guys have _one _chance, and if you screw it up, I'll kick all of your asses."

"You've come to the other side, Trissy!" Uriah yells and pats the seat next to him.

I glare at him. "Don't call me Trissy."

His eyes widen. "Sorry."

"You know, you guys don't have to be afraid of me."

"W-what? No one's afraid of you," Zeke says.

I raise my eyebrows as if to say, _really?_

"Everyone's afraid of you," Chris says seriously.

"I figured." I sigh.

"Well after that drawing we saw—"

"No. I refuse to explain that."

"Not even someday?" Four smirks across from me.

"Maybe." I smile.

"Woah. Hold up. Did you just smile?" he asks.

"Maybe." I continue smiling.

"Somebody mark this as a holiday!" Zeke yells.

I chuckle at him.

"She laughed too!" Uriah says.

"That was a chuckle, it's different!" I exclaim.

"I'm Al."

"Hi." I look up at a boy with big stature broad shoulders. "Tris."

"I'm Marlene, and this is Shauna, and that's Will."

"Hi." I wave across the table.

"Will and I are dating," Chris says. "Shauna and Zeke are, and so are Marlene and Uriah. So you can have your pick between Al and Four." She winks.

I immediately blush and look down, letting my hair shield my red face. And that's how I stay for most of lunch. But I felt someone's gaze landing at me every now and then. I couldn't tell who it was because my hair was in my face and I didn't dare to look up. I've never had a boyfriend because I'm afraid of intimacy after… that. But kissing doesn't freak me out, just the intense stuff.

"Tris?" Chris asks.

I look up, hair shielding half my face."Hm?"

"Get your hair out of your face, you're beautiful, show it off."

I blush and put my hair behind my ear.

"Oh my gosh, Tris! Can I take you shopping and come over to your house?"

"Over my goddamn dead body," I say firmly.

"But—"

"Hell to the no, Chris."

She huffs. "Fine."

I really hate shopping. I have to get a job tonight, anyway, to pay for my gym membership at The Pit. I took a tour of it a few weeks ago and liked it. Before, I just really didn't feel like getting a job back then. Even though I enmity shopping, I really love Journey's and Hot Topic.

**-Afterschool-**

"Tris Prior!" someone yells from behind me. I'm at the mall on my way Journey's. Hot Topic wasn't hiring, so hopefully Journey's is.

I turn around to see the people from lunch. I refuse to call them my friends yet.

"Yes?" I ask, uninterested.

"You said you hated shopping!" Chris smacks my arm.

"I do," I say monotonously. "I'm looking for a job. I'm headed to Journey's." I turn and walk away without a word.

"Tris!" Four yells.

"What?" I ask, annoyed.

"Want to get something with us at the food court?"

"Uhm…" I've never been invited to anything before. Unless giving someone a boost to complete graffiti under a bridge counts, then no. "Sure?" I shrug.

"The rest of them left 'cause they thought you'd say no." He chuckles.

"I wouldn't trust me all that much, either."

There are a few moments of silence.

"How come you said 'someday' about the drawing to me?" he asks.

"How come you said 'someday' about the fact that you admire me for what I've done?" I shoot back.

"I'll answer if you answer," he says.

"I said it because I think maybe someday I'll be able to trust you."

He looks shocked. "I said it because I wish I was as brave as you."

"Care to elaborate?"

"No." He shakes his head and looks down. "Let's just say we have more in common than you think."

I examine his face, but don't question him. I know what it's like when people dig around on your past, and, for lack of better word, it sucks.

"I'm going to go to Auntie Anne's. Want a pretzel?" he asks.

"Sure." I shrug.

He orders a cinnamon-sugar pretzel and says, "What do you want?"

"I've got cash." I wave him off.

"Seriously, what do you want?"

I roll my eyes. "Same."

"That'll be $4.44," the woman over the counter says blandly.

Four pays. That dick. I mean it was nice, but I can take care of myself. I've done it my whole life, I don't need anyone else.

"Thanks," I say once we leave the stand.

"My pleasure."

I glance up at him as we walk. He's pretty handsome. Not anymore. I push the pretzel up into his face and sugar gets all the way on his forehead.

"Trissy!" he screeches.

"I told you not to call me that!" I tenuously smack his arm.

As we approach his friends they start laughing at him.

"Yeah, yeah, Tris over here decided to shove my pretzel up my face." He playfully glares.

I laugh. I can't remember the last time I did, but it feels good.

"Tris laughed!" Four exclaims.

"Oh, shut it. It felt good. I haven't done it in a while." I sigh.

"So does this means we're official friends?" Chris asks.

I shrug, not giving them an answer or the satisfaction.

"Tris, c'mon, please?" Uriah asks.

"Slowly but surely," I mumble.

"Yay!" Chris yells.

"Maybe if you squeal one more time you'll get rid of me." I roll my eyes.

"Tris, a word?" Chris says.

I groan and get up, taking my pretzel with me.

"What?" I ask when we are far enough away. I take a bite.

"You like Four."

I start coughing loudly, almost choking. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." She crosses her arms.

"I've known him for two days! I've never let anyone in, like I have you guys. I barely know the guy, too. I mean, I'm closer to him than any of you, but only because… I don't know. He talks to me more, I guess. But knowing my past with _him_, we're just friends."

"Do you honestly think that?"

"Sometimes I feel like we're friends, sometimes I feel like we're more than friends, but sometimes I feel like a stranger." I shrug and walk away towards the table.

"You can't always walk away from you problems!" she yells.

I roll my eyes and keep strolling along. I know what I'm doing. I'm doing exactly what she said I was.

I grab my phone from the table without a word and keep walking towards Journey's.

Apparently, they aren't hiring so I'm all out of options. Maybe I could find a local café or something. Idea! Lifeguard. The Pit has an indoor swimming pool. It's almost like a mini YMCA.

I walk past my… acquaintances and see them arguing. I hear someone shout my name, so I run out the door and on my bike, quickly as humanly possible.

As I walk into the door of The Pit, I am hit with the smell of sweat.

"Hey Bud," I say to the owner.

"Hey, Tris, right?" I nod. "Finally here to get a membership?"

"Well, something like that. I was wondering if you have any jobs available."

"That, we do. The only one is a lifeguard though."

"I'll take it."

"You start tomorrow. Be here whenever you get out of school, you'll work 'til nine."

"Don't you need to interview me or something?"

"You know CPR?"

"Yep."

"Can you swim?"

"Yep."

"You've got the job, then." He shrugs. "Nita there'll get you your uniform. Nita!"

"Yes sir?" a girl who is dressed in red in white asks, presumably Nita.

"This is your co-worker, Tris. Tris, Nita." We shake hands. "I'm going to need you to show Tris her uniform."

"Okay, follow me."

She leads me towards the locker rooms for the employees. She hands me a one piece bathing suit, a white tank top, and red short-shorts.

"You might want to wash that stuff." She scrunches her nose. "The last girl that wore it is a prostitute now."

My eyes go wide.

"Kidding. I'm kidding." She chuckles. "I'll see you tomorrow. You'll meet Lauren too, she's cool."

"Okay. Thank you."

I walk out with my new uniform in hand. I put shove it in my bookbag and throw it over my shoulder.

Shit. This is just grand. Great. Glorious. Fantastic. Idealistic. Can you sense my sarcasm? Four is getting out of his truck a few spaces over from me. Why couldn't it be Zeke or Uriah or Al or _somebody that's not him_?!

"Tris?" I hear him ask. I quickly hop on my motorcycle after making eye contact. "Tris, we need to talk!" I hear him faintly shout before I get back onto the main road.

This is why I didn't want to make friends. This is why I can only rely on myself. This is why everybody hates me.

_**I am indeed 13**__, for the reviewer that asked. _

_-Reese_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_To __**FourEatonFourever, **__I LOVE YOUR HAIR. _

_SCHEDULE AT BOTTOM._

**Tris P.O.V.**

Tonight, I am alone, as always. I just got back from the gym after my... interview? I wouldn't exactly call it that.

I honestly don't even know why my mom is gone all the time. She usually gets home at ten o'clock at night, and all she does is remain in an office all day. I make some standard Kraft mac & cheese. A lot of women know how to cook some really fancy shit. Haha, no. Not me. Good ol' mac & cheese and Ramen Noodles. I basically live off the stuff.

I hear my phone buzzing, which strange because the last time a got a call, was a month or so ago. It's an unknown number, so I ignore it and go back to watching The Exorcist. They call four times. On the fourth I finally answer, just so I don't throw my godforsaken phone out the window.

"What?!"

"Hi."

"Hi."

"How are you?" The voice asks. It's deep and rumbles, therefore being a guy. But it's almost soothing.

"Awful. How about yourself?"

"Great, actually. Why are you so awful today?" he carries on like we've known each other for years.

"Well, there a bunch of these idiots at my school always bothering me. There's this guy, his name is Four, and he's really annoying, but for some strange reason I put up with him. I feel like I already know him, though. And this girl, Chris, she's insane, annoying and funny, I don't know why a put up with her either. But anyway, who's this?"

He laughs. "Who's this?"

"You know damn well who I am."

"It's Four." He—Four—laughs again and I feel my face flush in embarrassment, even though he can't see me.

"Oh… Okay, bye then." I pull the phone from my ear and press End Call before he can get the chance to object.

I let out a breath I didn't comprehend I was holding. I can't believe I said that to him. _Idiot. _

He calls again and I groan. "What?"

"Well, I was hoping we could talk."

"We did talk. Goodbye." I hang up again.

But of course, he calls again.

"What do you want?"

"I want to know why you ever-so-sadly departed the mall."

"Because I felt like it."

"And you were avoiding me at the gym because…?"

"Because I didn't feel like talking to you." I put no emotion into my voice.

"The reasoning for that was…?"

"Because Chris."

"And Chris said…?"

"She said that I liked you," I say monotonously.

He coughs, just like I did when she told me. But I was eating something, so he must be uncomfortable. "Oh really?"

"But she's ridiculous. I've known you for two days, and no one would ever like me, so problem solved. Bye Four." I hang up for the third time, but this time nervously.

I don't know why I get so… jittery… around him. It's like I want evade him, yet still be close to him. But I need to make a choice: I must decide between disdain and deviation, or desire and avidity. But it's hopeless for me to ignore both.

**-Next Week (Monday)-**

I've been continuing to sit with them, though I don't talk much. I'm still trying to decipher whether to call them friends or not. I think they are. Maybe.

"Tris!" Uriah yells. I swipe my hair from my face as I pull my head up.

"Hm?"

"I asked if you wanted to come to Zeke and I's house 'cause we're having a Guitar Hero marathon."

I'm taken aback.

"I mean, if you'd consider us your friends yet," Uriah amends.

"Uhm, yeah, I guess." I shrug.

"Woohoo, my life goal is accomplished!" Uriah throws his hands up in the air, almost smacking Marlene in the face on the way up. "No one can resist this." He tries to have a sexy smirk.

I shake my head. "You are not sexy, Uriah, don't even try." I smirk.

"I'd like to see you try, Miss 'I can prove you wrong,'" he challenges.

"Okay." I make my best sexy smirk face.

Four's and Al's jaws are dropped while the other guys' are just smirking at them.

"What do you think, Four, pretty good?" Zeke asks.

"I, uh." He clears his throat. "Yeah."

"What about you, Al?" Uriah asks him.

Al just nods and blushes.

I blush and look down too. I don't know why because it's impossible either of them would like me. Not that I'm ugly or anything, but there's definitely hotter girls than me. Plus, I'm abashed when it comes to intimacy. Every man has his needs, so he won't last long with me.

"Um, anyway," I say, diverting the subject. "What time should I be there tonight?"

"Right after school," Uriah answers.

"I have work off on Mondays, so sure."

"Awesome." Al flashes a grin towards me.

I give a small smile back.

I look straight ahead at Four, who sits across from me.

"Where do you work?" he asks.

"The Pit."

"I've never seen you there." He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Well, that's because I try to avoid you as much as possible."

"What's your position?"

"Lifeguard." I rest my chin on my hand, nearing his face. I keep my hand in my sleeve and run a hand through my hair. Everyone else is arguing about something pointless that Uriah brought up. Four and I are in our own world.

He puts his chin in his hand, like me, also nearing my face. Our noses are only three inches away. I could kiss him. But I resist.

"Why do you avoid me?" he asks quietly.

"I don't know, Four. Maybe because I'm afraid of—" I cut myself off. No way am I actually going to say it.

"Afraid of what?" His eyes narrow.

I shrug. "That you'll hurt me someday."

"Like physically?" he asks, appalled, and also a little frightened.

"No," I simply say.

"Then what?"

I hesitate. "I'm afraid of what I will f—" The bell rings, thankfully. I was about to say 'I'm afraid of what I will feel if we spend too much time together.'

"We're continuing this later," he shouts over the chaos.

"No we're not." I shake my head and run to break. Which, inconveniently, Four has too.

I go to my regular spot in the stadium, knowing Four won't leave me alone about it.

I put my earbuds in, blasting The Red by Chevelle. It's basically about when you're angry and people make fun of you. Then you beat the shit out of them. It's pretty great.

"Tris!" Four yells, but I choose to ignore him. Then he pulls out my earbuds and puts them in his back pocket.

"I don't think you want to touch back there." He smirks, but I blush. "Unless you do, then go on ahead."

I scoff and start to walk away.

"Tris, Tris, Tris." He runs towards me. "I was joking. Here." He hands me back my earbuds.

"What do you want?" I ask, even though I know exactly what it is.

"To finish our conversation."

I roll my eyes.

"Now, if you'd be so kind as to take a seat." He stretches his hand towards the bleachers.

I hastily sit down. He sits down close to me—like an inch. He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees.

"So, you were saying you were afraid of me?"

"I was going to say I'm afraid of what I will feel if we spend too much time together."

"What if we already have?" He smirks.

I pause. "Then I've already left."

**-Uriah & Zeke's-**

As I knock on the door, I hear "Someone get that!" from Uriah.

Chris opens the door. "Tris!"

"Chris." I nod my head and walk in. Zeke and Uriah are playing _School's Out_.

"That's all you two can play?" I ask. "Really?"

"Tris, this is hard when you're on expert." They finish, Zeke won.

"Gimme that Uriah." He hands me the guitar. "I pick the song, Zeke."

"What's it going to be? Barracuda?" That's the easiest one on there.

I laugh. "You're funny Zeke. Try _Through the Fire and Flames_ by Dragonforce on Expert."

"Yeah, right, Tris. Four can't even do that and no one's ever beat him."

My eyes glance over to him, scanning him up and down. I smirk. "Up for a challenge, Four?"

"Gimme that guitar, Zeke."

I strum down to the song and difficulty.

"Ready?" I ask with my eyebrows raised.

"The question is: Are you?" He smirks.

"Plenty."

I begin the song.

"I win!" I yell and drop the guitar one the ground as we finish.

"You suck." Four glares.

"Mmm, I got a %93 while you got… hm, what was it? Oh yeah, %66!"

He grumbles something about me being annoying. I just smirk.

"Well, that was fun." I take the only vacant seat on the couch next to Four and Uriah.

"Want to sit on my lap?" Uriah asks and pats his legs.

"I'll pass, but thanks." I roll my eyes.

"Your loss." He puts his hands up. "Who wants snacks?"

No one responds, just runs into the kitchen.

"Hey, Tris," Al says from the other couch. He and I are the only ones in the living room. "That was cool. You know, beating Four."

"Thanks."

"How'd you learn to play like that?" he asks curiously.

"Let's just say I didn't have many friends back in middle school." I smirk.

Everyone comes back in with chips and a drink.

"You sure you don't want anything, Tris?" Zeke asks.

"No." I wave him off.

"Fine, I didn't want to give you anything anyway." He sticks his tongue out.

I just roll my eyes.

"So…" Shauna says awkwardly. "How have you guys been doin'?"

Everyone says well, but I say awful.

"I mean good." I fake a smile.

They narrow their eyes at me in disbelief.

"It's just a habit to say that." I shrug.

"Sure…" Four says skeptically.

"Hey, who wants to see Al go against Will?" I change the subject in desperate need.

"Yeah!" Everyone exclaims.

"Tris," Four whispers in my right ear. "What—"

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Chris wiggles her eyebrows.

"I don't even know." I chuckle.

"What was earlier supposed to mean?" Four whispers referring the stadium, ignoring Chris.

"It was nothing," I whisper back.

"What do you mean it was nothing?" he asks.

"I _mean _that it was nothing."

"You know, for both of our sake's," he says. "I hope you're right."

_SO, I will try to update every other day, because I have 'I Will' that I'm also writing. I will neglect neither stories, I promise. If you read I Will, I'll love you forever. _

_As for a sequel to this story, I honestly have no idea. I come up with ideas and use them as I go along._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_So most chapters will be shorter now cause school. So mostly 1,500-2,000 words. Sorry :(_

**Tris P.O.V.**

"Hey, Tris?" a voice asks behind me.

I turn around to see Al. We are in Algebra, last period of the day, walking out. "Yeah?"

"Do you maybe want to get some coffee after school?" he requests.

"Oh Al, I'd love to, honestly, but I have to work after school," I lie. I have to work, but I don't really want to go.

"What time do you get off?"

"Nine."

"What time's your break?"

"5-6."

"Okay." He smiles. "Meet me at the food court in the mall at a little after 5?"

"Uh." I guess there's no getting out of it now. "Sure. You have Four's number, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, he has my number, so why don't you ask him for mine just in case anything changes?"

Jealousy fills his eyes and facial expression. "Um, yeah, okay."

I walk over to my locker and grab my bookbag and head out to my motorcycle.

"Tris! Tris wait up!" someone shouts as I strap my helmet.

"What?" I ask, annoyed. I take my helmet back off and swing my hair.

He stands there for a second, incognizant. "Can I get a ride?" Four asks.

"Um, unless you know how to drive a motorcycle, no." I put my helmet back on and drive off, leaving him in the dust. He can find an actual car, or walk. I don't care.

"Hey Nita," I say once I get into the locker rooms. She goes to another school, so we don't see each other at Shedd.

"Tris." She nods as she smiles.

We go to out posts, walking around the lazy river and everywhere else.

I sit down on the edge of the deep end, putting my calves in the water. I feel hands on my back, pushing me in. I squeal as I do. The water is absolutely freezing, for being indoor and all. I rise back up and wipe my eyes to see Four.

"Ugh! Four, I can't believe you, you ass!" I climb out of where I was pushed in.

"That's what you get for not giving me a ride." He shrugs.

"Screw you." I glare.

"Would you ple—" I cut him off by pushing him in the pool.

He comes back up and I say, "Payback's a bitch!"

He just glares and gets up.

"Detente?" I say.

"What?"

"Amnesty?"

"Um, in American please." He and I chuckle.

"Truce?" I stick my hand out.

"Truce." He shakes it. Haha, no, I don't believe in truce. I bulldoze him into the pool. But unfortunately, he pulls me down with him. I didn't think that through very well.

"That wasn't very smart of you." He chuckles as he looks down at me.

"Yeah." I realize how close we are—about two inches—and frantically swim towards the edge and rise on the concrete.

Four seems to have dozed off, still standing there looking at me.

"Are you coming?" I ask.

He quickly blinks and snaps out of his daze. Just a little though. "Oh… Yeah. I'm, uh, coming."

"Or do you need me to rescue you?" I laugh.

"Please." He winks.

I blush and see Nita behind me.

"Hey." I smile.

"You're dating Four?" she whispers incredulously.

I blush again. "No. We're just friends."

"So he's up for grabs?" she asks sanguinely.

"Go for it." I chuckle, but I can't help but feel a lancination of jealousy.

"Thanks," she squeals and skips over there.

I discreetly watch them from the slide as I take my post up the stairs, telling the kids when to go. He looks a little annoyed by her and looks like he's searching for someone. Most likely me. She reaches out I grabs his bicep. Cliché much? He rolls his eyes and says something back that makes her slump. She points up to me. Shit. I hope they didn't see me eyeballing them. He walks off towards my direction. Great. I pretend like I didn't notice him coming up the stairs and tell the next kid to go, watching over the ledge.

"Okay, you can—" I look over to see Four waiting and roll my eyes. "You can go."

"H-How do you sit up here…? This is… This is _terrifying_. You're like three stories up." He gulps and sits down on the slide.

"You're afraid of heights," I state more than question.

He nods. "Everyone's afraid of something."

"Yeah, but I didn't think you were afraid of anything." I laugh and push him down without giving him a chance to protest. I hear muffled screams coming up and I snicker. He acts like such a macho-man but he seems like a big pansy. At least, to me he does. Then again, I always seem unbreakable, but I'm really fragile as a dry rose petal.

I still have yet to take my shirt off, but neither has Four. Even though I'm wearing a tankini under, you can still see some of the scars from the repeated beatings _and_ whippings _and_ thrashings _and _lashings... I shake my head and check my phone. 4:55. As I walk down, I see Nita patrolling around the slide.

"Hey, how'd it go with Four?" I ask.

"Bad," she sighs. "He said he liked someone else at you guys' school."

"Oh. Well, that sucks." I pat her shoulder.

She shrugs. "Yeah. There's this other guy at my school that I kind of like. It's not the end of the world."

"That's good. Well, I've gotta go, I'm getting some coffee with a friend."

"With a _guy_ friend?" She wiggles her eyebrows.

I roll my eyes. "Yes. But I honestly don't like him. He's really sweet and all, but… I don't know." I shrug. "I'm not really ready for a boyfriend."

"Recent bad breakup?"

_No. _"Yes. I'll see you in an hour." I walk off toward the locker room and change into my dry clothes.

I drive towards the mall, parking on the food court side. I walk in, spotting Al sitting by Cup o Joe.

"Hey." I say.

"Hi," he says nervously. I really hope this isn't a date.

"So, what do you want?" He gestures towards the coffee place.

"I can pay for mine. I've got a job for a reason."

I stalk up to the counter without Al, since he already has something.

"Can I have a hot chocolate?"

"Can I have your number?" The teenage boy asks.

"Can I have a pen?"

He hands me one and I write down a fictitious number.

"Your drink's on the house." He winks.

"Thanks." I fake a smile. I've had practice.

He hands me my drink and says, "I'll call you later."

_No you won't. _I walk away with my free hot chocolate.

"Guess who just got a free hot chocolate?" I smirk at Al.

"How?" he asks.

"That guy working was flirting with me, so I gave him a fake phone number. Then he gave me this." I gesture to my cup. "For free."

"The perks of being a pretty girl." He smirks.

I blush and shake my head. I decide to be bold and say, "Al, this isn't a date is it? Because I'm really not ready—"

"Of course it's a date!" he exclaims angrily.

"Al, I've only known you for a week. I already have problems trusting in people, let alone men."

He huffs. "Whatever, Tris." He walks out, leaving me wholeheartedly shocked. I thought he was a nice guy, but obviously can't cope with rejection.

I, still utterly dismayed, walk out, finishing my drink.

"How'd it go?" Nita asks excitedly.

"Awful. I asked him if it was a date, and he flipped out saying 'of course it is.' Then I told him how I wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and then he walked out indignantly."

She raises her eyebrows. "Wow. So you actually don't like him?"

"Never have, never will."

"Well just forget about him. He doesn't understand."

_Neither do you. _"Yeah."

"Let's get back. By the way, after you left for your break, Four was asking where you went."

"What'd you tell him? That I had a hot date?" I laugh.

"About that…"

"Did you actually say that?"

"No… I told him 'She said she has a super hot 'guy friend' she was going to go get coffee with,'" she mumbles.

"You did not."

"I did," she sighs. "But you don't like him, so it doesn't matter right?"

"It _doesn't _matter, but you lied about it. What was his reaction?"

"Erm… he sorta, kinda, maybe got jealous."

"Why would he get jealous though?" I cross my arms.

"Because he likes you. Duh," she says pragmatically.

My eyes widen in shock. "Give me one reason why a guy like him would want to be with a girl like me."

"Because you're pretty, robust, and smart." She shrugs.

"You're a funny girl, Nita." I laugh and walk off to my post by the racing pool lanes.

Seriously, why would a hot and funny guy like him, want to be with a girl who was abused along with being a loose cannoned hellion?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Four P.O.V.**

"Fourrrrrryyyy!" Tris giggles. She never laughs, let alone _giggles_. I was lying on my bed at 4 o'clock with nothing to do until she called.

"Tris?" I ask.

"Yeah?" She laughs.

"What's going on with—"

"I love you!" She laughs hysterically.

"Tris—"

"Babe, will you get me a smoothie because you love me?" What the hell is going on with her?

"No. Wh—"

"Four! I thought you loved me! You know smoothies are my favorite, babe!" she whines. What has gotten into her?

"Babe?" I ask. I must say, I really love hearing that come from her. But only her.

"What? Oh. Yeah. I like calling you babe." She giggles.

"Tris…"

"Will you buy me some cake tomorrow?"

"Sure." I sigh. I can't refuse… she's too cute. Erm… I mean, she's just a, um, uh, person you can't say no to.

"I love you!" She laughs for the thousandth time in two minutes.

"What happened?" I ask, genuinely worried.

"What do you mean? I love you, and you love me, so everything's great. We should get married!" she shrieks.

"Whoa there—"

"We've known each other for two years, Four. What's the problem? Let's do it!"

"Erm…"

"You don't want to marry me?"

"Uh… Where are you, Tris?" I try to weasel my way out of this situation.

"44 Four Boulevard!" She laughs and giggles in hysterics.

"Tris. Where are you?"

"123 I Love You Street!"

"Tris! Where the hell are you?" I shout.

"Foury! You're scaring me!"

I immediately soften. "I'm sorry. Babe, can you please tell me where you are?" I didn't even realize I had said 'babe' at the time.

"486 Hanley Avenue."

"Thank you." I hang up. I drive as fast as I can to wherever the hell it is, programming it into my phone.

I go running into the room.

"What are you doing, Tris?" I shake my head.

"I'm gettin' HIGH! It's awesome! You should try it!" she screams.

"No. I'm taking you home. C'mon." I offer my hand.

"Fine. Carry me, babe." She lifts up her arms like a two-year-old.

I put one arm under her knee, and one on her back.

"Good day," I say as a farewell, and then leave with her in my arms, almost passed out.

"Four," she mumbles.

"What, Tris?" I ask as I set her down in the seat of my truck.

"I think we should break up. I love you, but only as a brother," Even though she's high as a cloud, my heart skips a beat. I can't help but feel a bit of truth put into those words, as if she's thinking straight.

"Yeah… brother," I sigh. Of course she likes me as a brother. I know that she's high, but I've never had anyone actually tell me that before, high or not. Of course I know she doesn't love me like _that_ yet. _Yet_ is keyword, because I plan on breaking down her façade, no matter what it takes. And one day, I will fulfill that intention.

I just decide to take her back to my house since I have no clue where she lives. Actually… That's a lie. I checked her ID to see, but her mom could catch her and know what's up with her. Not because I want to spend any time with the blonde haired beauty lying on my bed or anything… Nothing like that.

We kicked Al out of the group after what he did, but she insisted on him staying. None of wanted him there, so we all decided he was out.

I sit on the spinning chair at desk in my room, tapping my foot nervously. I decide it's kind of creepy just watching her sleep, so I call Zeke and walk into the hallway.

_4: "Shit. This is going to sound really wrong, but I have a girl lying on my bed right now."_

_Z: "Way to go, man! It's about damn time. But I thought you liked Tris…"_

_4: "Er… I never told you that… And it's Tris, but _not _like that, dude. I found her getting high with Lynn. She was calling me telling me how we've known each other for two years and that we were dating. Then she kept calling me babe, and telling me she loved me. It was pretty freakin' adorable."_

_Z: "Dude. What the hell did you just say?"_

_4: "Erm… I know you get a little brain-dead sometimes. It's okay. I know you get a little mentally disabled at times."_

_Z: "I comprehended that perfectly. So perfectly, that I noticed you said adorable. What the hell are you? A pansycake? Trolololol." _

_4: "*scoffs* No. You should've heard her though, it was hilarious."_

_Z: "Bro. You are fall—"_

_4: "No. No I'm not."_

_Z: "Dude…"_

_4: "I reject that out of hand. I refuse to believe that statement."_

_Z: "Sure, bud. Everyone knows you like her except her and you. You're beating yourself up."_

I just hang up. I don't need to deal with him right now. I go back inside my room and see her still dormant. She flinches and gets a crease between her eyebrows. I see a tear slip down her eye, and it's then that I realize she's having a nightmare. I walk forward to wake her up, but she shoots straight up, screaming. Since the bed is cornered to a wall, she leans up against it, covering her ears and rocking back and forth, shaking her head.

"Tris…" I reach my arm out, touching her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She smacks my hand away as she sobs.

I just sit down next to her, not touching her at all. I just sit there letting her know I'm here. She probably won't want to hug her or comfort her or anything. What am I thinking? She'd never let me comfort her.

Suddenly, I feel her head in the crook of my neck. I pull her on top of my lap, both legs on the left. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Hers go around mine. I just sit there in total shock of what she just did. But my shock turns into satisfaction, knowing that she actually trusts me enough to let me see the shattered, fragile side of her.

I stroke her hair, whispering, "Shh… It's okay. Tris, it's okay."

A few minutes later, she finally stops and says, "I'm sorry." She wipes her glowing and billowy eyes.

"You have nothing to apologize for. Do you want to talk ab—"

"No," she interrupts. "No, never again will I repeat what I saw. Ever."

"It's okay. I get it, Tris." I rub her back.

She must realize she's on my lap, because she blushes and promptly scoots away.

"I better go." She quickly shoots up and quickly walks to the door. I don't even apprehend that I'm grabbing her wrist as it turns the knob.

"Stay," I say as firmly as I can.

"I don't have the strength to put up a fight right now," she says shakily and collapses back on the bed, face-down, head on the pillow. I lie down next to her.

"Tris," I sigh, looking at her. She's staring at something very attentively on the ceiling now. Something other than making eye contact with me. "Why do you get high?"

"Why do you breath air? 'Cause it feels good."

"It's not good for you. How long have you done it?"

"I only do it like once every two months," she argues.

"Do you remember anything you said?"

"Every word," she mumbles.

"Did they get you high just for their entertainment?"

She sighs. "Yeah. They do that when they want me to admit something."

"Like what?" I raise an eyebrow. She still doesn't look at me, but I stare intently at her. I know she notices my eyes on her.

"They probably wanted me to admit I liked you." She shrugs like it's nothing, but to me it's everything. "I remember telling you that I loved you as a brother. I mean I don't love you yet, obviously, but I really like you as a brother. I feel like I can trust you." She finally looks over at me and gives a smile. A very small one, at that.

"Right," I say dismally. "Brother." I should have known she looks at me like that.

There's no way out now. Just friends. That's all we are. Nothing more, nothing less. I, the guy who can have _any_ girl I desire, the guy who's 'gorgeous' according to most girls, and the guy who is supposedly heartless, just got friendzoned.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_I didn't get many reviews last chapter… Not that I'm greedy or anything, just kind of saddening. _

_So… if you guys love me, can you check out my other story?_

_-Reese_

**Four P.O.V. **

Tris is still at my house and it's already 5:30. I've gotten to know so much more about her in the past hour. I hear the front door slam close and my eyes widen, in fear.

"Is that your mom and dad?" Tris gets up and opens the door, hopping down the stairs before I can stop her.

"Tobias? Do you have a friend over?" Marcus yells.

I climb down the stairs next to Tris. "Um, yeah, she was just going." I look at Tris pleading eyes.

"Oh, yeah, that's why I came down here," she plays along.

"Nonsense," Marcus says. "Tobias, why don't you have her stay for dinner? We can't be rude to our guest." He puts on a show-winning smile like he does at work. This is the first time I've actually seen him like this outside of work.

"Wow, thank you, Mr…?" she asks. "I don't know your last name. Nor did I know his real name was Tobias." She smirks at me.

"Well, I am Marcus Eaton and he is Tobias Eaton."

"Wait…" She glares for a few moments and sudden realization spreads across her face. "You testified against me in court! You were saying my father would never do anything like that. You're the reason I got extra time in juvy."

"Beatrice Prior? Well you killed my best-friend!"

"Well he tried to rape me!"

"That's no excuse!" Marcus roars.

"Hey!" I yell. "Tris, let's go." She glares at him.

"Fine," she grits through her teeth. "Let's go."

I drag her out by her elbow.

"Four… Stop, you're hurting my el—"

I immediately let go. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I didn't really hurt, I just knew you'd let go." She smirks and this causes me to roll my eyes amusingly as I get into my truck.

She climbs in on the other side.

"I'm really sorry about Marcus… He's a real douche lord," I apologize.

"It's not your fault. You're just the devil's spawn." She smiles at her joke, causing me to smile also.

I must still be smiling a minute later. "So… about that Tobias guy… he seems different from Four," she hints. I know she wants information on my past.

"Four is the guy who closes everyone out except friends and ignores everyone. Tobias is this weak, nice, and naïve kid who is closed-off, too, but with everyone. Even friends," I elaborate.

"I don't know, Four. I felt like I saw a little bit of Tobias today." The way she says my name—my _real_ name—sounds angelic. Like it rolls off her tongue perfectly, practicing it for a living, even though she's only said it twice.

"Maybe that's because you bring out my weaknesses." I slightly glance over at her raised eyebrows towards me.

"Why… How would I do that?"

I shrug. "I don't know." A moment of silence occurs. "And call me Tobias. It's nice to hear my name once in a while."

"Okay. Just so you know, when you're Tobias you aren't weak. I think you are just a little more vulnerable than when you're Four. It's okay to be nice and tough at the same." I pull into her driveway, but neither of us gets out yet. "I like Tobias a lot better." She smiles. God, that smile had to been given to her by Aphrodite. "So much that I think I'll be around him more often." She puts her hand on the handle. "But Four always seems to get in the way." She shakes her head and gets out, leaving me dumbfounded.

The only thing running through my head is the fragment _I like Tobias._

**-Page Break-**

**Tris P.O.V.**

The next day, Tobias seems to be happy as a clam as we drive to school. He had to pick me up since I didn't have my motorcycle.

_(A/N The following has actually happened to me.)_

As Tobias and I walk in the parking lot, our friends wave us over by Uri's car. We stand in a circle, equally being able to see each other. I feel something hit my back and see a water bottle lying on the ground. Are you fucking kidding me? Someone just threw a water bottle at me. _Hard._ I see a smirking guy hanging out with Al about fifteen feet away. He's tall, with dark shiny hair, a nose with a narrow bridge, and wide green eyes. You can just tell he's a dick.

I see my friends just kept talking like nothing even happened. All except Tobias. I roll my eyes and walk away. For a second, I just think about beating him to a pulp. I keep thinking '_Not worth the juvy time, Tris. Not worth it.'_ Things will be the same as two years ago. I was getting bullied, saying I was 'stiff,' whatever that means.It continued to happen in juvy until I started hanging out with Lynn and beefed up. Since then, people have been pretty petrified of me. I'm pretty pissed off that none of my friends even cared, other than Tobias.

I feel an arm slide around my shoulders and I immediately elbow them in the gut and keep walking, not caring who it was. But they did have some pretty rock-hard abs, whoever it was.

They cough and catch up. "Tris." They slide their arm around me again.

"What?" I look up and see Tobias. "Do you mind?" I shrug his arm off.

He just leans against the wall with me that I'm on. "Just ignore Peter. He's a dick to everyone."

"I don't care about that, Tobias. Our friends could care less." I roll my eyes.

"They care, they just get caught up talking about cake, you know?" He laughs gently and nudges me with his shoulder.

"Cake_ is_ pretty amazing." I smile up at him. If I moved an inch closer, we'd be kissing. We're already breathing the same air. Well, if either of us c_ould_ breathe. He leans down slowly towards my lips. I am frozen. I sprint towards the front doors of the school, leaving Tobias behind. What just happened? Oh my god, _what just happened? _I pull out my phone and call The Pit.

"This is Bud, how can I help you?"

"Hey, Bud, it's Tris. Listen, I forgot that I have a stupid family dinner tonight. My mom gets super mad if I don't come."

"Okay," he says.

"You're not mad, or anything?" I ask.

"No. No one ever drowns here anyway." He laughs.

"Thanks. I'll see you Wednesday." I hang up.

The real reason was that 1) I'd have to see Tobias at work, and 2) I need to talk to Chris about whatever the hell just happened thirty seconds ago. I go to my locker and grab my binders and stuff for the next few periods.

I go to science, hoping and praying that Tobias won't try to talk to me. I'm the first one there, so I put in my earbuds and begin to draw. I put 'TAKE THE BULLETS AWAY' really big in Sharpie. Then, in the background, I begin to write all the lyrics since I have them memorized. It's by We As Human featuring Lacey Sturm, formerly of Flyleaf. Lacey is a goddess, just like Lzzy Hale of Halestorm and Amy Lee of Evanescence. All girl rock singers. I really love classic rock, but damn, some of these new bands are amazing, like Three Days Grace. No one is better than Metallica though. _(A/N in HER opinion, 3DG is still my life, lol) _Well, besides Guns n' Roses and Nirvana. It's so hard to pick. I hear footsteps over my loud music somehow. _Please don't be Tobias. Please don't be… _I look up to see Chris.

"Chris!" I rip out my earbuds.

"What? What's wrong?" It's just her and I into the room, so I tell her.

"This morning, Four tried to kiss me and—"

"What?! Oh my gosh, Tris!"

I ignore her comment. "Well, when he was leaning in I froze and then sprinted away. I didn't know what to do, and… and I don't even know if I like him. Or if he actually likes me or if it was the heat of the moment and… Chris, things are going to be so awkward! I took off work today just so I didn't have to see him! I never call off work in the three weeks I've been there. I just… Chris, I don't know what to do. I like him as a brother, maybe a little more, but I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. But what if he just wants… you know…?" I ramble on.

"He's not like that. He knows your past and he'd never take advantage of you in any way, shape, or form. Trust me." Just then, Tobias walks into the room. I quickly scramble for my earbuds. What am I going to do tomorrow? It's not like we can avoid each other for the rest of our lives. And lunch today. Oh god. What am I going to do?

**Tobias P.O.V.**

I sling my arm around her shoulder, and I immediately regret it. She elbows me in the gut. It almost tickles, so I cough.

"Tris," I say and slide my arm around her again.

"What?" She looks up at me. I almost see her features soften, but barely. "Do you mind?" She shrugs my arm off.

I lean against the wall with her. "Just ignore Peter. He's a dick to everyone."

"I don't care about that, Tobias. Our friends could care less."

"They care, they just get caught up talking about cake, you know?" I laugh and give her a nudge.

"Cake_ is_ pretty amazing." She looks up and smiles. Neither of us is breathing. She looks gorgeous with her grey-blue eyes, blonde hair waving down her shoulders. I lean down slowly towards her. I've been yearning this moment for far too long. The look in her eyes tells me she wants this too, but her body language tells otherwise. I feel a rush of wind beside me and she's gone. I lean up against the wall breathing for the first time in an entire minute. I can't believe I just did that. Things will be so awkward now. She likes me like a brother, what was I thinking? Things will never be the same between us now. I put my face in my hands.

_Idiot. Jackass. Retard. Freak. Fool. Moron. _God, I am so stupid! Now I'll never get the chance to actually be with her.

I push myself back up from the wall and run back to Zeke and Uri's car.

"Zeke! A minute?" I grab his elbow, not giving him a choice.

"Bro, what's up?"

"I tried to kiss Tris."

"Man, that's awes—"

"No. I _tried_ to kiss Tris. When I was leaning in, she pulled back and ran away. Therefore not liking me. I thought after last night she might—"

"Woah, woah, what happened last night?"

"We just hung out for a while talking. But she found out my real name and said she liked that side of me better than the Four side, saying I was nicer and more open like that."

"Woah. She knows your real name?"

"By default. I was planning on telling her anyway." I shrug.

"Seriously? No one else knows! Not even me!"

"Well I really like her, okay? She's… different," I trail off.

"Okay, man, I get it. Just act like nothing ever happened this morning. I think she likes you, but is too afraid to admit it."

I shake my head. "Okay."

Until lunch, I am basically a wreck. Tris has been ignoring me all day. When I am around her, her earbuds seem to always be in. It's the little things like that that make me upset. I frequently notice her glancing at me throughout the day, but I can only focus on the bad things.

Isn't it beautiful the way we fall apart?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Woohoo! Already at 5,000 views! Thanks for all the feedback too!_

_-Reese_

**Tris P.O.V.**

Lunch. Oh, god, what am I going to do? I'll just act like it never happened… Yeah, that's what I'll do. Then, we can go back to being close friends. Just Tobias and Tris. Not Fourtris or whatever Uriah said the other day that was supposedly our 'ship name.' I guess Zeke and Shauna were 'Sheke,' he and Mar were 'Urlene?' Kind of reminds me of urine, if you ask me. Will and Chrissy were 'Willstina.' _(A/N I hate saying Chrill, it annoys the crap out of me. It sounds weird and I hate it.) _I think Uriah has secretly been a part of a fandom for way too long. I'd know. I'm a part of The Mortal Instruments fandom. If he wasn't in a fandom, then how would he know what a ship is?

As I approach the lunch table, I sit down next to him, like I always do. I've also been sitting next to Tobias by default since the couples demand on sitting next to each other, therefore making it extremely awkward for us two.

"Can I ask you a question, Uri?" I ask since we're alone.

"Anything."

"What fandom are you apart of?" I smirk.

"Uh…" He laughs nervously. "What's a fandom?"

"Uri, how would you know what a 'ship name' is unless you were in a fandom?"

"Godammit, I thought I hid it pretty well… Don't tell anyone, but it's…" He mumbles something under his breath.

"What?" I ask curiously.

"I said TFIOS!" He yells.

I laugh. He pronounced it like 'tif-e-ose,' which is what I do. "Me too! What was your favorite part?"

"Um… The swing set," he admits sheepishly.

"No way, same here! What's your favorite ship of all time, though?" I ask.

"Erm… I don't know, there's so many! How can you pick just one?" He asks elatedly.

"If I had to pick one though, it'd be Clace. Have you read TMI?"

"Who hasn't? Could you believe Cassie Clare in the first book though, making us think they were _s******s? (Spoiler)_ Like seriously, that's so effed up!"

Wow. He's a bigger fanboy than I thought. Once upon a time, in juvy, we actually had a library, and that's how I came to be a fangirl. The end. "I know right! But the end of City of Heavenly Fire was so amazing!"

"I know right! I read that entire book in two days. But if you've read other John—" I soon realize the whole gang is staring at our fangirl/boy moment. "Uh, I mean, yeah, Call of Duty is great, but Halo is wayyy better."

"URIAH IS A FANBOY!" Zeke exclaims.

"What's a fanboy?" he asks nervously.

"You are a fanboy, admit it!"

"How do _you _know what a fanboy is?" I ask Zeke, saving Uriah.

Zeke blushes and doesn't say anything else.

"What about you, Four? You got an inner fanboy?" I nudge his arm.

He smiles, almost relieved. "I guess so." Still smiling, he looks down at me.

Everybody goes off in conversation except Tobias and I.

"Listen," he whispers, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, breath traveling down my neck.

I lean closer, though I know I don't need to, I feel safer when I'm closer to him.

"I don't regret this morning, but I will if you are going to act different now. I really hope you don't, Tris."

I shake my head. "Of course not, Tobias," I say loud enough for only our ears. "I like our relationship as it is." _For now. _

"Good." He gives a small, yet sad smile. Probably disappointed that I don't want a boyfriend. _For now. _

"So, uh, I don't have to work later… Maybe we could hang out…?" I ask. I feel bad for not going out with him, so I guess it's the least I could do. I really don't want to reveal the reason I'm declining him.

"That sounds great, actually." He smiles, "Maybe your place this time." He chuckles.

"Yeah. Can you drop me off at Lynn's so I can pick up my bike?"

"Of course."

"Why are we still whispering?" I ask him.

"Don't know, Tris, why are we whispering?" He laughs.

"Makes it more intimate." I chuckle and blush at the realization of what I just said.

"Does it, now?" He asks with a mischievous grin.

I shrug. "I suppose so."

He just smiles to himself.

I decide I want to take him to art studio. Well, it's not exactly _mine_. I've never shown it to anyone, not even my mom or Lynn. I feel like I can trust him though. I always get this unexplainable feeling course through my veins whenever we touch. I don't know what we are right now, just friends? Are we in a 'flirtationship,' as Chris put it? I don't even know any of these new terms. For god's sake, the word _selfie_ was added to the dictionary. I didn't even know what that was until Chris told me what it was and said she was taking a picture for something called Instagram? I sound like an old person when it comes to this stuff, but seriously? YOLO? That sounds something Uri would say. It's just plain stupid, like his personality. And seriously, why would the word _emoji_ get in the dictionary? The dictionary is supposed to be logical!

_(A/N, I'm sorry, but I had to rant about that! So they can put 'selfie' and 'emoji' in the dictionary, but not FOURTRIS?! This is a serious a problem. Who's with me?! I WILL RIOT.)_

**-Page Break-**

I hop into Tobias's truck and we head to Lynn's apartment. It's silent the whole way there. Usually it's a comfortable silence. Not today, and from here on out, I'm guessing it'll be awkward, so I better get used to it. I just look out the window, sneaking the occasional glance at Tobias, as he does to me too, but mainly focusing on the road. When he turns the wheel, I notice his bicep flexes as he does so. Godammit, Tris, stop!

"Thanks," I say as I hop out of his truck. "Um, do you mind following me somewhere? There's something I want to show you."

He widely, and obviously at that, smiles. "Sure. Lead the way."

I get on my bike and rev the engine twice. I put on my helmet and begin to drive to the three-story warehouse. Not in the nicest part of town, but I'll take it since it was free. I park on the curb and Tobias goes behind me.

"Tris, what is this place?" He asks suspiciously.

"You'll find out." I smirk. I grab his hand and lead him inside. I notice his grip as a bit tighter than mine is. It's the things like these that make me smile, and I'm sure he's not exactly upset that I did this.

I wouldn't exactly call it a warehouse. It's more like a three-story apartment that's big and open with no rooms.

As he spots all the walls, he says, "Tris. This is amazing." He runs his hands over all of my mural/paintings.

"I still have the third story available, too. When I get done, with all of the walls, I want to do the ceilings. The first floor, the one we're on currently, is just paintings. The second floor is paintings with quotes. C'mon." I grasp his hand and drag him up the stairs.

"My favorite on is the one at the end of the room."

It has a background is black on the outside and fading into white as it nears the center. In the center, it says, 'It's never too late.'

"It's not that good, but I'm not done with it yet." I lean up against the wall and shrug. "Not one of my best, but—" He cuts me off with a kiss. His hands lie on my waste and mine go around his neck. I realize what I'm doing and quickly pull back.

"I had to do that at least once," he says.

"Damn it, Tobias, you don't get it do you?" I yell, now a few feet away.

"Get wha—"

I cut him off with, "Leave. Go." I don't look him in the eye. I can't. I hear his footsteps travel past me, exiting the building. Exiting my life.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_Sorry for not updating in a while :( Here's a pretty decent length chapter for ya._

_Also, I've decided that I'm putting a lyric as the very last sentence in every chapter, so see if you can guess it :P_

**Tris P.O.V.**

" _Leave. Go." I don't look him in the eye. I can't. I hear his footsteps travel past me, exiting the building. Exiting my life._

I groan in frustration and punch the drywall beside me, leaving a hole in it. I get my cans of paint and go to the next space available. I grab the colors grey, black, white, and red—red being the most important. I dip my big brush in the white paint and splatter it all on the clean wall.

_(A/N, if you've seen the girl in the Numb music video by Linkin Park, that's what I'm going by.)_

Next, after I feel I've done enough white, I do the grey. Then the black. Once it looks like a splattered mess, I take the red and dip my hands in it. I put my hands on the wall and put red handprints all over the place. I wait about twenty minutes and start putting the quote on.

In cursive with my thumb, I write,

"_Don't get too close,_

_It's dark inside…_

_It's where my demons hide."_

I'm not a big fan of Imagine Dragons, but damn, that song is amazing. I realize I've been working on it for about four hours, mainly taking my anger out on the splatters, so now it's eight o'clock.

I decide to do another one.

I get the small-tipped brush and begin the paint the neck. The head is stretching up, almost like a like turtle come out of its shell. The hair is waving around in her face. When I'm done with those two things, I begin the red skulls that form into her face. Once I'm done with the skulls, I mix the black and red together, making a dark maroon color for a shaded background. I put most of it on the left side, and do a light outline of the right side. Once the paint on the left is dry about fifteen minutes later, I write the words "If you only knew what I've been going through" in light grey letters.

And it's then that I realize the girl's face is mine.

It's midnight by the time I've finished details. Usually, it'd take a week for me to finish each of these, but I got two done in nine hours. I'm not going to school tomorrow. I know my mom would be mad if I didn't but it's not like she'll find out, anyway, I've forged her signature once and I'll do it again.

I'm starting another painting. I'm not tired, anger replaces my fatigue, and I am very angry. At what? I don't know the answer to that question.

I draw a full heart on the top left corner. As I slowly work my way down with more hearts, it slowly breaks. On the right side of all the hearts, I paint "I swear I never meant to let it die." On the hearts, I do a black outline on them. It was a simple one, so it only took me about an hour.

The next one I plan on taking a while, probably 'til about 3 A.M. It's the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, except I'm only painting the grin on the cats face. I start with drawing a big black space. I go downstairs to grab my ladder. Once I assemble it, I begin the writing the repeated phrase background "We're all mad here." It's going to take about forty minutes for it to dry, so I just get on my phone and see that I have four missed messages and two phone calls from an unknown number.

_(3:33 P.M.) Hey girlie. It's Chris, want to hang out? We're all going over to Zeke and Uri's house for round two of guitar hero._

_(3:45 P.M.) Ohhh, nvm, I bet you're hangin with Four ;)_

_(5:06 Missed call)_

_(5:08 P.M.) Everything going okay? Haven't heard from you at all…_

_(6:12 P.M. Missed call)_

_(7:14 P.M.) Trissy, I'm getting worried! None of us have heard from you. Zeke had to leave at like 4:30ish. Said he had a 'bro emergency'? Call me!_

Wow. Okay… I decide to call her, even though it's midnight.

"Tris, oh my god, are you okay?" she says immediately.

"Yeah. Sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't. I was just watching a movie."

"Hey, so I know it's late, but would you mind coming somewhere?"

"Um, depends…"

"Just come to 951 Dover Street, okay?"

"Sure… I'll be there in a few."

I hang up. I'll be showing this place to two people in one day.

While I'm waiting, begin yet another painting. It's very simple. In my regular cursive handwriting, I paint "I feel so much better now that your." Then, in big and bold capital letters it says "GONE FOEREVER." Back in cursive, it says, "I tell myself that I don't miss you at all." Solely based off of Four. Key words: "I tell myself." I try to tell myself I'm better off without him, but I can't help but have a mental war with myself.

"Tris? Are you here?" Chris yells, interrupting my thoughts.

"Second floor!" I shout. I hear pounding footsteps nearing me. "Don't knock over the lanterns!" I have to light them during nighttime because I can't see, obviously.

"Tris, this place is amazing. I saw the ones downstairs. What are you working on now?"

I just now finish up the 'all.'

"Done. It's the simplest one I've ever done, but sometimes simplicity is beauty." I shrug.  
"Come look at these ones." I show her the one with the skull one, demons one, and the one with broken hearts.

"These are all so amazing," she whispers as we walk back to the one that says "We're all mad here." I start to paint the Cheshire cat grin carefully.

"So… You want to tell me what's going on?"

"Uh… About that… Well… You see what happened was… we just hung out for a while, and he said he had to go, so… yeah…"

"Um…" she digs through pockets and holds up a piece of paper. "I don't know, I'm looking at my receipt and it doesn't look like I ordered any of your bullshit."

"Very funny, Chris." I glare.

"Seriously, what the hell is going on?"

I turn towards her, stopping my brush mid stroke. "Just let me finish this one. It'll take me about a half-hour, okay?"

"Fine."

I finally finish and take a step back, holding a lantern in front of it. "Finished. Now, let's go downstairs."

I walk down the steps with her, carefully making sure neither of us trip. Downstairs I have a futon I got from Wal-mart last week since I seem to be spending the night here more often.

"Take a seat, Chris." I let out a breath.

"So, today, I had Four over here today. He was the first person I've ever taken here, so I felt like I could trust him. He backed me into the wall and kissed me. But I found myself kissing back, so after about three seconds, I pulled away and told him to leave." I sigh.

"Trissy! Why would you tell him to leave?" she squeals.

"Because!"

"That's not a very good reason." She gives me a pointed look.

"Look!" I make my hands into the shape of bird flying away. "There's goes any flying fucks I ever gave!"

She can't help but laugh. "Seriously Tris. Why?"

"He doesn't want to be with someone like me." I shake my head.

"Like what?"

"Nevermind. Just… whatever. It's whatever. You should probably go home. It's getting late." I stand up.

"Okay. I'm not going to make you talk about it. Bye, Tris." She walks out the door.

It's already about 3:30 A.M., so I decide to get some sleep. As I slowly drift off, I think of whether Tobias is gone forever, or if _I'm _gone forever.

**-Next day-**

Today, Wednesday, I skip school. I decide to go home and shower when I wake up, which was at about 11 o'clock. I have to go into work at 2:30, which is ten minutes after school ends. Once I get a bit freshened up, I go to Home Depot at one o'clock. I pick out multiple colors, ranging from black, white, navy blue, dark purple, maroon, and dark green, all in big cans.

I pay for them where they mix the paint and the guy eyes me suspiciously. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Oh, I'm painting the school mural and I ran out of colors," I lie.

"Oh. Well, good luck." He smiles.

"Thanks." I load up my cart. As I walk in the parking lot, I realize I won't have room to transport to paints there on my motorcycle. Genius thinking, Tris.

I walk back inside and go up to the guy behind the paint counter.

"Uh, hi. I have a motorcycle, so I won't be able to take the paints. I didn't think it through very well." I chuckle. "Anyway, can I pick them up tomorrow morning before I go there?"

"Sure." He takes the paints from my cart and puts it under the counter.

"Thank you," I say as I walk out.

I drive home, and when I get there, I see the lights on.

I rush inside and open the door quietly. I hear the TV on, and a background laugh. What, did someone sneak in here just to watch TV? I slowly peak around the corner and see Caleb.

"Caleb!" I shriek.

The bowl of popcorn flies in the air about three feet because he was so startled.

"Jesus, Tris! I thought you were supposed to be in school!"

"I'm supposed to be, but I'm not. Why are you here?" I hug his bare chest. All he's wearing is sweatpants. Old habits die hard.

"I decided to take semester off." He shrugs. "Get caught up with my fees and what not. So, tomorrow I'm going job hunting."

"Awesome, it'll be good to actually have someone home." I smile. We'd gotten a lot closer after the whole situation with Andrew, but I haven't seen him since I got out of juvy. Even though I'm adopted, he's just like a real brother. He's always very protective of me. He's only one of the two people in the world I really love, my mom being the other person.

"So, Caleb. I need to tell you something."

"What?" he asks.

"There's this guy… and—"

"You don't have an ex-boyfriend stalker, do you? 'Cause all I need is his name and social security number and I can ruin his life."

I chuckle. "No, but thank you. Anyway, the guy kissed me, and I kissed back, but only for a second or two until I realized what I was doing. But the thing is, is that he's like my best guy-friend. I don't think we should be in a relationship because I'm not exactly the easiest the easiest person to deal with. I don't want him getting into trouble because of me or anything… In fact, I don't even know if I like him so whatever. Nevermind."

"Tris, you know you can have a boyfriend like most teenage girls, I just have to approve or else I'll be the total dick I normally am." He laughs.

"I know, I know." I check the time. "Listen Caleb, as much as I'd love to continue this conversation, I have to go to work. Sorry. I'll see you at about 9ish, okay? I work at The Pit if you need me for anything."

"Bye, lil sis."

"Bye, big bro."

When I get there, I see Nita in the lockerroom.

"Hey bae," she greets.

"You know that means poop in Danish, right?"

"Oh god. I will never say that again." She laughs.

"That's the reaction I get every time." I smirk.

We walk out and start patrolling around the edges and I feel my phone buzz. It's Caleb.

I answer on my Blackberry and he says, "Listen, I know you're at work, but they're having a Friends marathon tonight! We have to watch it! That show was our thing."

I grin as I remember. "Of course, Caleb. We should pull an all-nighter and watch every episode!"

"Okay, I'll let you get back to your patrolling." He chuckles.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you."

"Smooches," he says in an overly high voice.

I laugh and hang up. Luckily, I have yet to see Four.

Nita comes up and says, "Ohhh, who was that?" She wiggles her eyebrows. "A boy?"

"Yes." I turn towards her. "That boy was my brother."

"Well you're no fun." She frowns and starts patrolling with me.

"I know. We're having a Friends marathon. It's like the only reason I love him." I chuckle. "Just kidding. But that show is basically the only thing we have in common."

She nods. "I wish I had a sibling."

"Sometimes I wish I didn't, but in the moments we have that are actually, I really am glad that I have someone to depend on."

"Hey, hottie alert at 3 o'clock."

"Who?"

"Four."

"No, please tell me you're joking," I plead.

"Nope, he's coming our way, actually."

"Uh, I have to go to the bathroom." I speed walk towards the door into the main area.

"Tris!" Four runs up to me and steps in front of the doors.

"Talk to me," he says. "Please." I make a move to get around him, but he doesn't budge. "I just need you to say something about us. Anything."

I still have yet to look him in the eye, glaring at the potted plant in the lobby.

"What'd that plant ever do to you?" He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

I just look down at the sandals I'm wearing.

"Hey." His finger touches my chin, bringing it up. I immediately flinch away and close my eyes.

I turn around and walk away, but this time Four doesn't bother following me.

All I want to do is trade this life for something new.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_Abbyismagical was the one that got the lyric first. I personally am addicted to Waiting For the End by Linkin Park, even though it's a softer song by them._

**Four P.O.V.**

"Tris, what is this place?" She leads me into an old three-story building.

"You'll find out." She smirks and grabs my hand and leads me inside. She grabbed my hand. I give it a small squeeze as I smile.

I wouldn't exactly call it a warehouse. It's more like a three-story apartment that's big and open with no rooms.

"Tris. This is amazing." I run my free hand over all of her mural/paintings.

"I still have the third story available, too. When I get done with all of the walls, I want to do the ceilings. The first floor, the one we're on currently, is just paintings. The second floor is paintings with quotes. C'mon." She drags me upstairs.

"My favorite on is the one at the end of the room."

It has a background is black on the outside and fading into white as it nears the center. In the center, it says, 'It's never too late.'

"It's not that good, but I'm not done with it yet. Not one of my best, but—" I can't take it anymore. I put my hands on either side of her head and kiss her. Her lips taste warm against mine—so warm. Then I realize she's kissing back. She wraps her arms around my neck. But all too soon, she abruptly pulls away and slips past me.

"I had to do that at least once," I admit.

"Damn it, Tobias, you don't get it do you?" she yells.

"Get wha—"

"Leave. Go." I just stand there for a second in awe. I gulp, and somehow carry my feet down the stairs and go to my truck.

I sit in the driver's seat staring blankly into the gravel. I shake my head and slam my fists into the wheel. I lay my forehead on the wheel, gripping it like a mad man.

"Dammit, Tris, why can't you just accept that I like you?" I grunt to myself and start the engine. I call Zeke on the way there.

"Bro, what's up? I texted you like a half hour ago to see if you wanted to hang out with us, but you never responded. Neither did Tris. I'm assuming you and her are hanging out."

"Correction. We _were_ hanging out. Until I—you know what? Just meet me at the pier, okay?"

"Okay, bro."

I hang up and drive there.

Somehow Zeke beat me there. I see him sitting on the steps and plop down next to him.

"Dude, what happened?"

"So she took me to this place where she does her artwork and showed me all these really amazing paintings—like really amazing. She grabbed my hand and led me upstairs. She was showing me this painting and I kissed her. She kissed me back for a second or two then pulled back and told me to leave. Aaaand here I am."

"I want to say congratulations and I'm sorry at the same time." He pats my back.

"I know. I just don't get why she'd kiss me back then tell me to leave."

"Well maybe she's just afraid."

"Of me?" I ask in awe.

"No, man. Of hurting you. Of hurting herself. Afraid of having someone care about her, other than family. Or maybe she's just too afraid of caring about you. Afraid of what she might feel." He shrugs.

"Damn, Zeke. Since when did you get all soft on me?" I nudge him with my elbow.

"I can be serious when it comes to people I care about or it affects the people I care about."

"That's why you're such a good friend. Retarded and serious at the same time."

"Well, let's get out of the pity party and go get our Guitar Hero on!"

**-Lunch next day-**

"Who knows why Tris isn't here today?" Uriah asks while looking at me. In fact, everyone looks at me.

I shrug and mumble, "I don't know."

"I didn't know you spoke two languages." Uriah's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Um, I don't."

"Oh? But I just heard you speaking English and Bullshit a second ago…"

"Hilarious." I roll my eyes while everyone tries to stifle a laugh.

"You can't bullshit a bullshitter," he points out.

"Very true, but I can do this." I take my uneaten mini-salad and shove it all in his face since he sits next to me.

"Also very true, but I can do that too." He rubs his face onto the sleeve of my shoulder.

"Whatever, I was going to skip the rest of the day, anyway."

"Getting a little too boring without your Trissy, is it?" Uriah teases.

"You say one more word about her and the next thing that covers your face will be blood," I growl.

"Woah dude, what happened?"

"Nothing. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I stand up and throw my food away, still pissed off.

I already have my gym bag in my truck, so I head straight to the Pit. I need to take my anger out on the bag. I do it for about three hours. Non-stop punching. At 3:30, I see Tris patrolling through the window. I'm about to approach her, but her phone rings. I've always been a natural at reading lips, so it's not eavesdropping, right?

She answers and says something like '_course, Caleb. We should pull an all-nighter and watch every episode!_'

First of all, who the hell is Caleb and why is she spending the night with him?

'_Yeah, yeah. Love you.'_

Second of all, how the hell is she in love with him? She hangs up and spins around to see Nita wiggling her eyebrows. I can't take it. I walk in approaching the two of them. She starts walking faster, but I go to block the entrance.

"Tris!"

"Talk to me. Please," I practically beg. She tries to move past me, but I block her way. "I just need you to say something about us. Anything."

She's glaring at something in the lobby area. I turn around and look in the direction of her eyes. "What'd that plant ever do to you?" I chuckle.

She just looks down.

"Hey." I bring my finger to her chin, bringing it up. She flinches and turns her head away. She turns around and walks towards Nita without a word. How long is this going to take? I'm certainly not giving up.

"Tris, talk to me!" I give her shoulder a light squeeze.

"What?" she whispers. She won't look at me, but talking is an improvement.

"Listen, I really like you—"

"Can we not do this here?" she whispers, looking around. "Just…" she hesitates and draws in a breath. "Just come over to my house after my shift. So… swing by at like 9:30, okay?" She finally looks up at me and I smile. She gives a small smile back at me, but it doesn't reach her eyes. But I'll take it.

"Okay."

"Bye, Four," she says as I walk with my back to her. I can't help but feel a twinge of hurt as she calls me that.

**-9:30-**

I knock on the door expecting Tris to answer, but it's a shirtless guy with sweatpants on.

"Who are you?" he asks, very intimidating.

"Um… Four. You are?"

"Caleb."

"Is Tris home?" I put my hands in my sweatshirt pockets.

"How do you know her?"

"We're friends. She told me to come by at 9:30."

"Are you the guy that kissed my little sister?" He takes a step closer to me and glares. "She's really confused by you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah… That's why I came by. So we could talk about some things."

"Well that's too bad, because I don't like you," he says.

I raise my eyebrows. "Listen, I'm really sorry, but I really care about your sister. I'm completely understanding about the fact that she's not ready for a boyfriend, and I respect that. I know that I can't be her boyfriend right now, but as long as I can be close to her in some way, I'm the happiest man in the world. You should ask our friends what I was like before I met her. She's… She's amazing. And she makes me happy. So I'm sorry for being selfish, but she makes me feel like I matter. Like I'm not some worthless piece of trash you can toss out. Whether we are just friends or something more, I don't care. I just need her," I finish.

Caleb's eyebrows furrow in half disbelief. "Are you sure that's my sister you're talking about?" he jokes, which makes the mood less tense.

I chuckle and nod. "Yeah."

"Well, you're lucky that speech made up for me not liking you. Come in." He opens the door more and reveals Tris sitting on the couch watching Friends, wearing a tank-top and pajama pants. She laughs, and I can't help but feel like it sounds angelic.

"Okay, I believe you," Caleb says softly.

I give him a confused look.

"The way you look at her, I can tell you really care about her. I don't give you my approval yet, but you're slowly earning it." And with that, he walks into the living room. I pump my fist in the air victoriously.

Tris stands up and motions for me to come into the kitchen. She gets carton of vanilla bean ice cream and a spoon. She leans up against the counter. She takes a bite and says, "Talk."

"I really care about you, Tris. Like, a lot." _Smooth move. _"But I completely respect that you're not ready for a boyfriend… But I have my spot on the floor, right?" I chuckle.

"Yeah."

"So just answer this one question: Why did you kiss back then get all distant?"

"Because I don't think you should be with someone like me," she whispers.

"Like what?"

"I'm not very good for your reputation. I'll get you into trouble."

"Guess how much I care about that?"

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry."

"For w—"

She grabs my sweatshirt and pulls lips down to hers. She wraps her elbow around my neck as she stands on her tip-toes. I snake my hands around her waist and pull her closer to me.

She pulls back, and without a word, pushes me out the front door.

I laugh and shake my head into the night sky.

Why can't I just be a simple kind of man?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Tris P.O.V.**

Why did I just to that? He's going to think I'm leading him on, and then he'll be extremely disappointed when I tell him I don't want a boyfriend. But there's nothing wrong with shamelessly flirting, right?

"Tris please tell me you aren't dating that guy," Caleb says warningly.

"No Caleb, I'm not. I'm not ready for a boyfriend. You of all people should know that." I plop back down on the couch. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"I'm supposed to be the tough big brother who doesn't approve of anybody."

"Well, I swear you have multiple personalities, because you act totally different around me."

"What do I act like? The amazing big brother you've always wanted?"

"Nope, I've always wanted a big sister." I smirk. "But you're practically a girl anyway, so it works out well."

"At least I was smart enough to pay attention in health class." He pops a piece of popcorn in his mouth. "Anyway, what did you guys talk about in there?"

"He was just, uh, saying that he liked me and I told him I wasn't ready, that's it," I lie.

"Uh-huh. And what was that silence that I heard when I was listening to you guys?"

"You were listening to us?" I ask incredulously.

He shrugs. "Just curious. Go on."

I roll my eyes. "There was just an awkward silence. That's it. Drop it."

"Mhm. And he was grinning when he left because…?"

"What is this, twenty questions?" I get up and walk into the kitchen with the popcorn bowl. I grab another bag and put it in the microwave, along with marshmallows. Believe it or not, it tastes amazing with it.

I hear footsteps behind me, and ignore them.

"Tris, I just want to know if you kissed or not."

"We did. I kissed him. Are you happy?"

"Yes, because he didn't pressure you into anything, like I thought he would."

"T-Four," I pause. "He's a good guy. I know he'd never pressure me into anything."

"What about when _he_ kissed _you_?"

"It doesn't matter who initiated it. I kissed back, and that's all that matters. This time, I grabbed his sweatshirt, and I kissed him. And you know what, Caleb? I liked it!"

"Tris…" Caleb shakes his head.

"What? What is the big deal? I'm eighteen! You, yourself, even said it was okay that I had a boyfriend."

"I just don't want you getting hurt. You'll always be my little sister. You'll always be little Beatrice who will always need protecting."

"I'm not that person anymore."

I hear a loud pop and the microwave door flings open, spraying white, fluffy, marshmallow foam all over Caleb, me, and the kitchen.

"Damn it, Caleb! You distracted me!" I yell.

"Tris—"

"No. I'm going to the gym." I walk past him and push the swinging door open as hard as I can. I run upstairs and put on short running shorts along with an old t-shirt.

Since The Pit is open twenty-four hours, I just decide to go back there. When I do, I see Bud.

"Hey, what are you doing back here?"

"Just need to blow of some steam."

He nods. "That's normal. Have fun."

I chuckle and make my way towards the punching bags. After an hour or two of punching and kicking, I head towards the empty gym. I grab the cart of volleyballs and start serving. For some reason, it always helps me blow off steam because I imagine the ball as someone's face. This time, it's Caleb. _It's so hard to find someone who cares about you, but it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you. _That's basically the story of my life. I tell myself there's nobody out there, but then Tobias just has to come crashing into my life, head first. Honestly, I'm just as confused as he is. I don't understand what I want, what he wants, or if he wants the idea of me. I'm not as amazing as he thinks I am. What if we start dating and I turn into a heinous, clingy bitch? What if we break up and we're not friends anymore? What if. All of the 'what if's' are making me lean towards just staying friends. But then there's the other 'what if's.' What if we end up falling in love? What if he really does like me for me? What if he actually gets me up from depression? There's so many 'what if's.' But he has to be thinking the same thing right now. There's no way he can't be. He must be in such disarray with me kissing him, and then automatically pushing him out the door. Probably wondering, _why can't my life be simple? _I don't know, Tobias. I truly don't know. But he seems mysterious; like there's something he's not telling me. There has to be a catch. He's nice, attractive, he likes me, and he has a good sense of humor. I didn't think any of those things went together until I met him. It's like I want us to be something more, but I don't at the same time. I really hate making labels like 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend.' We're not friends, and we're not more than friends. We're in a… flirtation-ship. That's a thing, right? I watched it on Girl Code once on MTV. I always get confused, too, when I hang out with a group of guys and they're like, "Relax, you're just one of the guys."

So I say, "What, do I have a dick now? I don't think so."

Anyway, point is: I don't know who to trust, myself, or him. I've lived my entire life independently, why would I need anybody now?

**-Next day-**

It is extremely awkward today—Thursday. I'm sitting at the lunch table at my usual spot. Everyone is looking at me, probably wanting an explanation on why I wasn't here yesterday.

"I overslept and just decided not to come." I shrug. They all give me disbelieving looks but don't question any further. "Chris, a word in the bathroom, please?"

"Of course, my darling," she says with an accent. We stand up and exit toward the bathroom. Luckily, no one is in there.

"What's going on?" she asks immediately.

"Well, as you know, when Four tried to kiss me Tuesday morning, I chickened out. But then, he came over Wednesday night and we talked. Then I kind of…" I mumble something inaudible.

"Kind of what?" she urges.

"Sort of, kind of, may or may not have grabbed his sweatshirt and kissed him."

"I can't believe you finally did it, Tris!" She claps and squeals like a seal.

"But," I breathe. "But I don't know what we should be. Should we be friends, or more than friends? Am I even ready for a real relationship?"

She shrugs. "Only you can answer that question."

I just sigh and lean against the wall.

"Hey, you know you'd look really cute with your hair tips dyed like lilac-ish color," she points out.

"That was random." I chuckle.

She shrugs. "Hey, I'm just thinking out loud here."

"Well, maybe later I'll go do that. I have, like, a crap-load of money from working at the gym, and I never spend it."

"Great! Maybe we can go shopping too?"

"You're pushing it, Chris," I warn.

"It was worth a shot," she mumbles.

"Let's just skip the rest of the day," I say.

"Why?"

"To make strawberry milkshakes." I roll my eyes. "To do my hair, dipshit."

"Let's go! I know the perfect salon."

"You would."

"You looked so sad back there." She frowns.

"I don't need your condescending words about me looking lonely. I don't need your arms to hold me, because misery is waiting on me."

She rolls her eyes. "You and your stupid rock music."

I stop in my tracks. "You. Did. Not."

"What? I just think it's really that meaningful. And it's depressing." She shrugs.

"Oh really? Not meaningful. Ha. Because Anaconda's lyrics are ever so meaningful. _My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hon._"

"Well not that particular song… Like 'Am I Wrong' by Nico & Vinz."

"That's an okay song. The only people that listen to rock music are ones that can relate to it. Like, there's this song called 'Never Too Late' by Three Days Grace. One of the lyrics is _I have left alone everything that I own to make you feel like that it's not too late, it's never too late. Even if I say it'll be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life._ I can relate to that because I had a friend that tried to… you know. I kept on trying to help her, saying that everything will be okay, but it happened anyway, and she still did it. And everything wasn't okay."

**-2:20-**

"Tris, I love your hair!" Nita exclaims as I enter the locker room.

"Thanks. Just got it done today." I ended up get it angled, shorter in the back and long in the front. Then a lilac color going up the slant.

"I bet Four will like it." She wiggles her eyebrows.

"Listen, I don't know what we are. I haven't made up my mind so don't ask or hint about it at all." I step out into the humid room with the slides and pools.

"Trissy!"

I glare to whoever said that god awful nickname. Tobias.

"Hey," he says. "So... What are we?"

"Uh…" I look at my flip-flops. "Friends?" I ask, still unsure.

He looks disappointed. "Um… Yeah. Friends. Sounds good." He still hasn't looked at me. Anywhere _but _me.

"So, you wanna walk around a bit with me? I can show you the ropes of patrolling," I say jokingly.

"Ah, no. I, uh, was just about to leave actually… So, yeah. Bye." He quickly walks away.

I just ruined that whole thing didn't I? The entire potential of having a real relationship with him—gone.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Tris P.O.V.**

_(Three weeks later)_

Three weeks ago, I friend-zoned Four and ever since then, he's avoided me. After about three days of that, I stopped making an effort and went back to being my old self. I'm starting think that it's just who I am. I tried making friends, and it just didn't work. I just went back to my old table and blasted some Metallica. This is exactly the reason I hadn't wanted to make friends. It'd result to me getting hurt. The reason this happened was because I wanted to remain friends. Since he'd been in previous relationships, I hadn't known what he'd been expecting of me. I honestly didn't know him very well either. I mean, we were pretty close friends, but then he had to go off and start being mad at me? I just want to send the pain below, much like suffocating.

Christina had made many efforts to get me to sit with her again, but I not-so-politely declined. After a week, she gave up, and so did the rest of the group. I just told them to let me live my life alone. So I guess you could say the reason I have no hope for making friends is because of Four. If I made him so happy, then why would he have flipped out on me like that? I just don't understand.

As you may've noticed, I'm talking in the past tense. Currently, I'm standing in one of the most prestigious schools for bassists. I've been keeping grades at all A's, shockingly enough. That's why I'm here. This is a _college, _and they want _me _playing for them. They said I could graduate high school early, and then come here. The catch is: it's in San Francisco. But really, I see no catch. I have nobody at my school I care about as much as to change my mind about this.

I feel as if I'm on top of the world right now, and I did it all on my own, without anybody's help. It will stay that way, too, because I know that I can do things on my own. And now I finally have the confidence to do so.

…

_So most of you are probably wondering what the hell I'm doing right now. I had immense writer's block, and realized I wanted to focus on the part of their lives where they aren't in high school. I already wrote a high school story, so I wanted this one to be unique. I'm sorry if I let you guys down. I'm typing the next chapter in the next stage of her life right now. Again, I'm extremely sorry if I've let you down. Just… please continue to read my story? It'll still be good. Hopefully._

_Thank you, my faithful and lovely readers. _

_-Reese_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Four P.O.V.**

_(A/N I SAID 'FOUR' *makes incredibly evil face*)_

It's been a year since we've graduated from college, and we are all 23 years old. 'We' meaning Uriah, Zeke, Will, Marlene, Shauna, Christina, and I. All of them are still together. I haven't liked anyone since being with Tris. I wouldn't exactly call it 'with,' though. I was so stupid and immature to completely ignore her like that. Ever since then, I've felt guilty every single day, and I've never gotten to apologize because she disappeared off the face of the Earth. But I guess I'll need to get over her someday, which is the reason I am where I am today. Currently, I'm on a double-date with some girl named Nicole that Zeke found. Judging by her clothes, probably on the corner.

"Did you know that Four, here, loves soccer?" Zeke says, trying to begin a conversation.

"No." She twirls her hair around her finger. "I'm not really the sporty type, but I love Nike's clothes."

Wow. It's so hard to restrain myself from rolling my eyes, so I just nod.

"What else do you like, Four?"

"Listening to orchestra-rock." I shrug. Since Tris played bass, she showed me this really great band called Apocalyptica, and I've been obsessed, even to this day.

"Really? That sounds… interesting. I really like that song Anaconda. Do I have enough buns to make your anaconda want some?" She winks.

This is the reason I don't go on dates, or even flirt for that matter.

"Listen, I don't think this is going to work out… so, I'm just going to leave." I stand up and wave to Zeke. I quickly leave forty dollars on the table to pay for our meal.

That did not go as expected. I'm honestly starting to think Zeke's gone mad.

"Hey, man, wait up," I hear Zeke yell. "Shauna is taking a crying Nicole home, so we got bro-time."

"Just get in the car." I roll my eyes and begin to drive to my almost-empty apartment.

"Listen, when I met her, she acted like the sweetest girl, I swear."

I shrug. "It's fine. Why would you even bother setting me up when we are moving tomorrow, anyway?"

"Well, about that… She's kind of Shauna's sister, and she's moving with us."

"Are you joking?" I ask. "Because if you are, you aren't very funny."

"I'm sorry… We didn't think it'd end that badly."

Then we get a text from Chris at the same time. Zeke checks his since I'm driving.

"It says, 'Everyone meet at my apartment, like now! I have a surprise!'"

"I guess we're going there, then," I say and make a few turns towards her place.

We head there, hitting every red light. We end up being the last ones there. And great, Nicole is here too.

"So, now that everyone's here," Chris says as we all sit in her empty apartment filled with boxes. "I have a surprise for all of you." She claps her hands and get's paper out of a large envelope. "Since we are moving to San Francisco, I figured, 'well, what's a good way to get settled into the city?' Then, I had the brilliant idea of getting tickets for the San Francisco Philharmonic!" She squeals.

"No way!" Shauna exclaims. "I've always wanted to see them. They are all so talented and dedicated to what they do. It's amazing, really."

"Yeah, thanks, Chris," Mar chimes in. "But aren't the tickets extremely expensive?"

"I actually suckered my mom and dad into paying for them since they have money flying out of their asses."

We all laugh.

Getting out of Chicago should be good. I'll have new life, someplace where there's no remembrance of Tris. Yet, all this time, I've been holding onto what I haven't got.

**-June 6****th****-**

**(The day after yesterday)**

I'm extremely nervous for this plane ride. I clutch onto the arms of the seats as hard as I can, getting ready for the four hour commute.

We arrive at 4 P.M. exactly. We are going to the Symphony on Monday night, and today is Saturday. I need to rent a tux, somehow, once we explore the city. We all live in the same apartment complex. Since it was new, we got our hands on it first. I already have a job as a cop, since I had an over-the-phone interview. I officially meet the captain on Monday. The reason I went to school to be a cop is so I can protect people. To prevent childhoods like mine.

Once we get to the apartments and settle in, we all meet at Chris's, like planned.

"Let's go and explore, shall we?"

I grab my sunglasses and walk behind everyone, keeping to myself while everybody points at interesting things. I'm more of a quiet observer. We aren't exactly in San Fran. Mainly the outskirts, so it's less busy. We live on the outside of the 'Sunset District' near the beach. I can already tell I'll love it here. Not too busy, not too calm. Plus there's the beach, how can you go wrong? Though the water is cold, I can deal with it.

I only brought two suitcases with me, and that's it. The apartment is already furnished, so I don't have to worry about that.

After a while of walking around, we decide to head back home and settle into our places. All I have to do is unpack my suitcases, which takes about an hour, and then I'm done at about 9 o'clock. I just take a nap, with the strange urge of wishing that Tris could be lying next to me.

**-Monday-**

I dress myself in a blue dress shirt and khakis with fancy shoes. I have to make a good first impression.

I wave a taxi, and I get there in thirty minutes. From now on, I'll probably just walk since the traffic so compact.

I walk up to the front desk and say, "Hi, I'm Four Eaton. I should have a meeting scheduled with Captain Harrison?"

"Oh, yes, right on time." She gives a flirty smile. "My name is Kendall if you need anything."

I just nod. "Can you show me where his office is?"

"Of course."

She stands up and leads me to his door.

"Don't be intimidated by him. Once you get to know him, he's a really nice guy."

I just nod nervously and knock on the door.

"Come in," a deep, low voice says.

"Hello. Four Eaton." I stick my hand out over his desk.

"You're going to have to earn that handshake, son."

I pull my hand back. "Yes, sir."

He chuckles. "I've interviewed many men and woman, but none as nervous as you. I'll take that as a good sign. It tells me that you really want it. Though I said you probably had the job, I like to meet people first. So, do you have a girlfriend in town? Close friends?"

"I moved here with a few close friends. We've been practically inseparable since freshman year." I chuckle.

"Okay, good. No matter how tough you may be, you always need someone to rely on. You seem like a very jaded person, Four. Have you been hurt a lot?"

"Well… The first time it was someone else's fault." Marcus. "The second time, it kind of just… happened. It was my own fault, though." Tris.

"Ah. Was it a girl?" He sadly smiles.

"The second time, yeah." I sigh. "Never got the chance to make it up to her, and she left." I shake my head.

"So you basically hurt yourself in that situation?"

I nod.

"How did you handle it after she left?"

"I shut everybody out. Started spending more time at the gym. Talked less. Yet I'm still not over it—her."

"How long ago was this? Six months?"

Why is he into my love life so much?

I just chuckle. "Five years ago."

His eyebrows rise in surprise. "What'd you do to her that made her want to leave?"

"I ignored her because she friend-zoned me. Then she started sitting by herself again, refusing to speak with anyone else. I hurt her, and I still haven't had the chance to make it up to her." I shake my head. "And I feel guilty every single day for it."

"You're probably wondering why I'm asking you all of these personal questions."

I just nod.

"Well, you can tell a lot about a person on the way they treat people. You seem like good guy, other than what you did when you were in high school. We all have done stupid things as kids. That's why I'm giving you the job."

"Really?" I lift my head.

He nods.

"Thank you so much, sir. I will not let you down." I stand up.

"You better not. You'll be learning the ropes of the office tomorrow. Be here at the same time."

"Yes sir." I nod my head and walk out.

This day can't get any better, can it?

I wave a taxi over. I get out and say, "Where's the nearest place I can rent a tuxedo?"

**-At the Philharmonic-**

As we walk into the big dome-shaped building, my face brightens. Maybe if I close my eyes, I can imagine being somewhere with Tris.

Why am I so hung up on her? It's been five years, for god's sake. You'da thought a guy like me could get over her quickly.

I walk next to Chris. "Do you ever think about Tris?" I ask quietly.

"Every day. You, too?"

I nod. "Being with her, going to college with her, doing everything with her."

"Really? Jeez dude, who would've imagined you could be so deep?" she teases.

"Oh, shut it. She's the only person I've ever really had feelings for." I shrug. "I really wish I hadn't been such a dick back then."

She just nods as we take out seat. Just then, the curtains open and they begin playing Tchaikovsky's No. 6 Symphony. Amazing. No other words to describe it. Especially the low-pitch section, like the bass and cellos and trombones. It's what makes it pop. Most of them are in their mid-fifties, it looks like, except one bassist. She has bright and youthful skin, and long luscious blonde hair.

Two hours later, the curtains close to an outrageously loud audience, me being a part of it.

We decide to stay back for a while and wait for everyone the clear out.

About thirty minutes later, we begin to head out.

I hear a crying girl just around the corner. I tell my friends to go on without me and that I'll be home soon.

I round the corner to see a girl—the bassist. Her hair is shielding her face.

"Are you okay?"

She jumps a little but doesn't remove her hair. "Not really. That was basically the worst performance of my life."

"You're kidding, right?" I sit down next to her. "That was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard in my life. Especially you. I could really hear your part and it sounded amazing. Whatever you did, it wasn't bad."

She shrugs. "Thanks, I guess."

"You seem pretty young. I noticed most of the other musicians were about their fifties," I comment.

"Oh, yeah." She chuckles. "I get that a lot. I'm 23, though. Graduated from college about a year ago."

"Me too." I smile. "Is that a harder piece for you guys to play?"

She nods. "Yeah. It's incredible though. Totally worth it."

"Definitely, Tchaikovsky's No. 6 Symphony is the most elaborate one of his. I mainly listen to Apocalyptica though. If you know who they are." I shrug. They aren't very popular.

"Are you kidding? They're the ones that got me playing." She finally turns her head toward me, and I only see half of her face, and it's gaping.

"What?" I ask.

She shakes her head vigorously. "Nothing. Nothing. I have to go."

"Um, okay? I guess I'll see you around."

"No you won't."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_I should be updating twice as much now because my other story has ended :)_

**Tris P.O.V. **

As I step out onto the stage with my bass, I feel nervousness arise in me. I usually get a little nervous, but nothing as much as this. This is one of the hardest pieces we've ever played, Tchaikovsky Symphony No. 6, Pathetique. I've only been with the Philharmonic for a year so far, and I love it. All of the other members are around their fifties, and they've all been so kind as to show me the ropes. Except there's a violinist named Crash that's also 23, we graduated together. He's not as destructive as he sounds. He seems very closed-off, he reminds me of Four.

The curtains open, and my nervousness fades. I've been here before, plenty of times, at that. The conductor raises his hands motioning for us to begin. The piece is about fifty minutes, and about half-way through, I miss a note. My first mistake on stage. I keep going like it never happened. I feel so unfocused, but I still hit every note the rest of the piece. The curtains close after a Beethoven piece we play.

I guess you could say this was the worst performance of my life.

"Tris, you did great!" Tori, a cellist, exclaims. "What could possibly be so wrong that makes you frown?"

"I missed my first note on stage. That was awful."

"So? You're still new—"

"That doesn't matter. To be in this Philharmonic at my age, I have to make sure this is perfect. I can't miss a single note. None, Tori."

"I agree with Tori. You did fine," Crash chimes in.

"I missed a note today, too. After a while, you'll learn to accept it." She pats my shoulder and walks back-stage to pack up and go home. I follow her, putting my bass in its bag.

I go to the back of the building outside and slump against the wall. I'm wearing black dress pants with a white button-up top, so I sit with me knees to my face, curled hair blocking everything out. I let out one sob, which is rare; I'm typically a silent crier. I immediately cover my hand with my mouth. I don't want anyone to find me.

I hear a few footsteps to my left, and I flinch, but don't bother looking.

"Are you okay?" a deep voice asks.

"Not really. That was basically the worst performance of my life."

"You're kidding, right?"I feel him sit next to me. "That was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard in my life. Especially you. I could really hear your part and it sounded amazing. Whatever you did, it wasn't bad."

I shrug. "Thanks, I guess." That really doesn't help me. Once I have my mind set on an opinion, there's no changing it, no matter the amount of the convincing.

"You seem pretty young. I noticed most of the other musicians were about their fifties," he comments, trying to make conversation.

"Oh, yeah. I get that a lot. I'm 23, though. Graduated from college about a year ago."

"Me too. Is that a harder piece for you guys to play?"

I nod. "Yeah. It's incredible though. Totally worth it."

"Definitely, Tchaikovsky's No. 6 Symphony is the most elaborate one of his. I mainly listen to Apocalyptica though. If you know who they are."

He knows Apocalyptica? I've loved them since my early childhood. "Are you kidding? They're the ones that got me playing." I turn towards him and my mouth drops. Now I know how he knows Apocalyptica. Me. I was the one that showed him the Metallica covers they did on the four cellos.

"What?" he asks suspiciously.

I shake my head quickly. "Nothing. Nothing. I have to go."

"Um, okay? I guess I'll see you around."

"No you won't." I walk off. I hope I never see him again, but at the same time, I wish to see him every day.

**-Next Day-**

Well, so far, the second wish has come true, because here he is at the Fisherman's wharf square, where all of the best seafood is, along with a bunch of little shops. Tuesdays are the days I usually come with Crash. He's basically my only friend. We both have bad pasts we don't like talking about, and we don't pressure it either. He has shaggy blonde hair and dark brown eyes. I'd be attracted to him if it weren't for already seeing him as a brother. And I know he doesn't like me that way either. We even told each other straight up that we were basically siblings and nothing more.

"Crash!" I shriek.

"What?" he asks.

"Those are my old friends from Chicago! You remember me telling you about them, right?"

He nods. "Where are they?" He looks forward stoically.

"In front of us. By the way, I have to tell you something."

"Hm?" He looks down at me.

"I saw Four yesterday at the show afterwards."

"You what?" he shouts. "And you didn't tell me?" he asks, more calm now.

"I'm sorry, okay? I was really upset and he just talked to me about my performance. He didn't recognize me though."

"Oh. Well, do you still want to be friends with him?"

"Yes and no. I want to hear his explanation, and I guess it depends on his answer."

"So go talk to them." He shrugs. "What could possibly go wrong?"

"You know, when a cartoon character says that, every time they die."

"But we aren't in a cartoon."

He speeds up and pushes me into Four.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry. My friend pushed me into you."

"Hey. You're the bassist, aren't you?" He lifts his sunglasses and I'm mesmerized by his eyes that match the ocean.

I look down. "Yeah." By now the entire group has stopped and they're looking at me intently, probably trying to figure out who I am. But there's a new girl—most likely my replacement, except she looks like a slut. And she's basically giving Four no personal space. "How are you, Four?" I look up.

"How do you know my—" He stops talking. "Tris?" he whispers.

I nod. "Listen, do you maybe want to grab a cup of coffee or something?" I ask.

He nods vigorously. "Definitely." Then he sees Crash. "I wouldn't intruding with you and your…?"

"This is Crash. He's my best-friend, and he can take a bus home, can't you, Crash?"

He just laughs. "You'll be the one taking the bus, I drove here."

"Shit," I mumble. "Bye," I yell with a fake sneer.

Then I remember the rest of the group and turn to them. "Um… How are you guys?"

They don't say anything, but Uriah does. "What the hell, Tris? I missed you!" He hugs me, but I just stand there with my arms to the side.

"Oh, c'mon, Tris." He puts his bottom lip out.

"No, thanks though." I chuckle. I turn to Four. "I know a great place with the best frappuccinos."

"Okay. I'll see you guys later." He waves to my former friends.

We walk there in silence.

We sit down and order our drinks. "Listen, Tris, I've felt guilty every day since you left. I never got the chance to apologize. I feel like the biggest douche on Earth right now because of what I did. I never should have done that. I was so hurt; it was just my first reaction to shut everybody out."

I just curtly nod while picking at my fingernails with the opposite hand.

"I think about you every day, you know," he says quietly.

At this, my head shoots up. "What?"

"You heard me." He doesn't back out of what he said.

"I don't know; my replacement seems to have a thing for you." I chuckle bitterly.

"Nicole? No thank you." He laughs. "That's Shauna's sister. I went with Zeke on a double-date and she asked if she had enough buns for my anaconda."

I laugh in shock as my eyes widen. "Oh wow, she must be quite a catch."

He scoffs. "Definitely."

Then the woman brings out our drinks, along with a flirty smile towards Four.

"So, Apocalyptica, huh?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "Ever since you got me into them I've been obsessed."

I nod.

"Orchestra-rock is love, orchestra-rock is life."

"Ew! NO! Don't ever say that again or I will not hesitate to kill you!" I laugh.

"What? You don't like Shrek is love, Shrek is—"

"No! It's messed up. It ruined my entire point of view on Sh… that movie." I shiver.

"Yeah, that video is pretty messed up…" he trails off.

"Why did you leave?"

"College. I went early because my grades were high. It was a musician's school. They frequently offer more of a chance to join an orchestra. That's how I met Crash. He plays violin."

He just nods.

"Aw, is Four jealous?" I put my bottom lip out.

He rolls his eyes. "No." He hesitates. "You don't have to call me Four, you know."

I shrug. "Who says I forgive you?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh. Nobody, I guess." He looks out the window distantly.

"You have to earn your name."

"That's only fair." He nods.

"So, how have the rest of my former friends been?"

"Good. Everybody's still in a relationship, surprisingly enough. I'm a cop."

My eyebrows rise. "Really?"

He nod.

"That's really cool." I smile sincerely.

"So… You seem happy here. Happier than you were in Chicago."

"I am. I really love the city. I get paid to make beauty out of wood and string, how can I _not_ be happier? Plus, high school just really sucks. You don't really know who you are; you struggle to find yourself. You can't open to anyone about your feelings. Now everything is so much simpler."

He nods in agreement. "Everything in high school is so awkward." He laughs.

"Do you remember the time when you—"

"Excuse me," a pretty teenage girl says to Four. "Could I maybe have your number? My enemies, over there, dared me to ask you, even though I have a boyfriend. They said if I didn't do it, they'd tell him I was sleeping with another guy. Please. Just write down a fake number or something?"

Four follows through with what she asks.

"It's fake," he says and hands it to her.

"Oh, thank you so much. I'm very sorry to intrude on your date." She gives a small smile towards me.

For some reason I have the need to explain to her. "No, this isn't a date. We're just…" I look at Four. "Friends."

"Sure." She winks at me. "Well, whatever this was, I'm incredibly sorry I interrupted." And with that, she walks off.

Four just knowingly smirks at me.

"What?" I ask, unsure of what he's so happy about.

"You called me your friend."

I shrug. "And?"

"_And _this time, I'm not going to be a dick to you. I'm going to be a real friend."

I smile and look down. "Okay, Tobias."

He mischievously grins, then it falls. "Do you see Crash as _only_ a friend?"

"Yes."

Tobias get's out his phone and says, "Record this. I like making Vines." He laughs.

I start recording and turn the camera on my grinning face and then flip it to him. He stands on our table and shouts, "She said yes!" Everybody claps. Then, he does a back-flip off the table and screams, "Woo! She said she only liked him as a friend!" I do some editing and post it on Vine. Then, I send the video to my phone.

After about fifteen minutes, he gets on his phone to check his comments on it. His jaw drops as he reads.

"What are they saying?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything, just slides the phone over to me.

_Ew, who's she?_

_Wtf? Who's that bimbo?_

_She's pretty._

_She seems like a slut._

_Pft, I'm prettier than her._

_Are you 2 actually on a date?_

_u 2 seem happy. I hate it._

_u 2 seem happy, but I like it, unlike^_

_Ur a funny guy and u deserve to be happy. She's pretty :)_

I look up at Tobias.

"There's about a hundred more," he says, "of either you being pretty, or you being ugly. There's no in between, apparently." He laughs. "I'd recommend not putting that on your Vine, because fangirls will go batshit crazy with jealousy."

I go to his profile. 1.1 million followers. Not bad. I scroll down into his videos and watch a few. These are hilarious!

I look up at him. "These are some of the funniest Vines I've ever seen."

He shrugs. "I try."

I roll my eyes and stand up, handing him back his phone. We walk outside under the awning. "Well, it's been fun, Tobias."

He stands up, also. "Very much so. Maybe we can do it again, Prior?" He sticks his hand out.

"Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta hug!" I hug him as I quote Tommy Boy.

"I love that movie!" he exclaims as he wraps his arms around my waist.

I pull back and smile. "Bye," I say in a sing song voice. I back-walk a few steps and turn around, not looking back.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

_So, some of you were asking for Crash to be gay, but I'm not going to make him. I can add Robert in if you want me to, but Crash will create some drama._

_This chapter is almost 3,000 words! :)_

_-Reese_

**Tobias P.O.V.**

Was I just dreaming the past hour and a half of my life? 'Cause it sure felt like it. I'm actually friends with Tris, and this time I will _not_ screw it up. This is different from high school. History will not repeat itself once again. As I'm walking home, I can't seem to wipe the grin off my face. As soon as I get there, I don't bother going to my apartment, I go to Zeke's.

He swings open the door. Then he grins, mirroring my expression. "Bro, you're grinning."

I look down. "I know."

"Bro_. _You're _grinning,_" he repeats.

"I know!" I throw my hands up in the air in exasperation and grip my hair.

"Just come in. You have a lot of explaining to do." He opens the door wider.

I walk in and see Shauna sprawled out on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.

"Hey," she says. "Just so you know, I'm not mad at you for the whole double-date thing. She was acting like slut."

"Thanks. That's why I don't flirt anymore." I chuckle.

"Unless he's with Tris," Zeke adds.

I don't object.

"Ah, the past deniable has become the present undeniable."

"Oh, shut it. We just… shamelessly flirt. That's what Christina would call a flirtation-ship."

"What are we, sixteen?" Zeke scoffs.

"Chris was just talking about it a few weeks ago!" I defend.

"Liar. What was she talking about, then?"

"Some TV show. Finding Carly, or something like that on MTV."

"Hey!" Shauna objects. "That show is called Finding Carter. She was probably talking about when Max and Taylor were making croutons and—"

"Nobody gives a flying fuck about their croutons." I chuckle.

"I do! It was the first sign that they liked each other! What was the first thing that Tris did that could be even the slightest sign she likes you?" she asks thoughtfully.

"She said something about how Nicole was all up in my business."

"Jealousy. What's another sign?"

"She didn't scowl when I made a joke about Shrek."

They look at me strangely, but Shauna holds up two fingers. "Laughter. Another?"

"She was messing with me asking if I was jealous because Crash."

"She was serious, but played it off as a joke. Knowledge." She sticks up another finger, making three. "Another," she demands.

"She said she and Crash were just friends."

She sticks another finger up. Four. "Reassurance."

"She hugged me when we left."

"Physical contact. Jealousy, laughter, knowledge, reassurance, and physical contact. All the five components of knowing you're in a flirtation-ship."

"Shauna—" Zeke begins.

"Christina."

Zeke and I nod in unison.

"Well… I'm just going to go now," I say, still processing the new information.

"Get a good night's sleep. Clear your head," Zeke shouts as I walk away.

**(;-;)**

A wake up to a _ding! _at 5:59, a minute before my alarm clock is supposed to go off.

_Vine: Tris_Prior wants to follow you._

I immediately click accept. She's the first person I've followed. A half hour later, my notification are exploding with questions like:

_Who r u following? Follow me! _

_I bet u r following that girl from ur last vid_

_Who is she?! We all want to know who the mysterious 4 is w/._

_U never follow ANY1! Y now?_

I swear half of my followers are stalkers.

**Tris P.O.V. **

We have practice on weekdays 12-5, but on the days we perform, we have to be here at 8 and we practice until we go on stage.

As practice ends Crash comes up to me.

"So, how'd it go last night?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Good. And I do not like him like that, just so you know. Friends is all we are, Crash."

"Well, judging by your phone he doesn't seem to think so." He evilly chuckles.

"What'd he say?" I ask as I put my bass in its bag.

"'Hey, do you want to go get some lunch?' at 12:01."

"Shit! He's going to think I stood him up or something." I sigh. "Give me my phone."

He hands me it and I call him, dialing lightly with my thumbs on the sensitive screen.

"Hello?" A deep voice answers.

"Hi. Sorry I couldn't go to lunch. We have orchestra practice from 12-5."

"Oh it's okay. I was just hangin' with my bestie Zeke."

"Put Four on the phone, Zeke."

"Damn," he grumbles. "I thought I pulled that off pretty well."

I hear a light _whoosh_ of Zeke probably throwing Tobias's phone over to him.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Just wanted to say sorry for not responding to your text. We have orchestra practice from 12-5."

"Oh, it's nothing. I figured you'd been busy."

"Well, thanks for understanding. I should probably go…" I look at Crash to see him playing on his violin, "Here comes the Bride," meaning me and Tobias getting married. "Do you fucking mind?!" I yell.

"Um, everything okay?" Tobias asks as he lightly chuckles.

"Not really. Just Crash." I roll my eyes. "Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, I should probably go."

"Okay…" But neither of us hangs up.

"Ze—" Tobias shouts.

"Hello, this is Zeke Pedrad speaking, your old friend. How are ya, Tris?"

"Good. May I ask where Four went?"

"Well, previously I'd attacked him from behind and now I'm sitting on him with my hand clamped over his mouth."

I laugh. "You wanted to talk to me? How sweet. What's this about?"

"Well, Four wanted to ask you something, but he doesn't have to balls to do it, so I'll do it for him. He'd like to know if you'd—"

I hear a punch and I loud _swish_, probably from the phone falling on the carpet.

"Tris, hi," I hear Tobias's voice.

"There was something you wanted to ask?" I raise an eyebrow, though he can't see me.

"Oh, we were just wondering if you'd like to come over to our apartment complex we all have and have dinner with us."

"Ah, I can't. Sorry. I made plans with Crash."

"Oh," he says disappointedly. "It's okay, just—"

"That's not what he wanted to—" I hear Zeke shout.

"Bye, Tris," Tobias says then hangs up.

I click the red button as I hear Crash say, "We have plans?"

"We do now." I laugh. "I didn't really want to go over there. You know how I feel about socializing." I smile.

He nods. "I do. What were you thinking we could do?"

I shrug. "We don't have to do anything. I know you have special lady-friend you met yesterday." I wiggle my eyebrows.

He rolls his eyes but smiles. "_You_ are my only friend, period. She kind of seemed… I don't know. Like she was desperate."

"What was her name?"

"Nikki, or something like that. No, Nicole. That was it." He nods.

I laugh, and he looks at me like I'm a madman. "When I was talking to Four yesterday, he told me his friend set him up with her because she was his friend's girlfriend's sister. She asked if she had enough buns for his Anaconda."

He chuckles. "You're joking, right?"

I simply shake my head. "Dead serious."

"Crap. I forgot that I have to go to a stupid thing with my parents. Sorry."

I shrug. "Whatever."

"Okay, bye." He quickly runs out, leaving me to be the only one backstage since everyone else has left already.

I, quite frankly, have no life, so I have no idea what to do with the rest of my day. So, I just decide go to a bar and watch some sport they have playing on every single TV.

When I get there, I sit on the stool and order a Snake Venom. I've never had it before, but it sounds cool. People say girls don't typically drink beer, they drink wine and martinis. But I don't like anything but beer.

"Aren't you a little too pretty to be here sittin' all by your lonesome?" I hear a voice say.

I spin around quickly, about ready to throw a punch, but I see Uriah. I roll my eyes and go back to watching the cheesy commercials during half-time. "I thought you had plans tonight," I say without looking at him.

"Chrissy cancelled. I thought _you_ had plans tonight as well."

"Crash cancelled," I lie.

"You're lying. You just didn't want to come."

"Yep," I say bluntly and take a swig of my beer. "But I know you guys never really had a dinner planned, so I guess we're even."

Uriah takes a glance at my beer and back at me. "You know people say that's the world's strongest beer, right?"

I shrug. "No. I've been known to hold my liquor, so I can barely tell."

He chuckles. "You Irish?"

"Actually, yes," I say. "My mother's side."

"Oh," he simply says. Then we sit in an awkward silence.

"Do you like Four?" He asks out of the blue.

"What?" I smile and furrow my eyebrows. "Of course I like Four. He's hilarious."

"No, Tris. Not like that." He gives me a pointed look.

I stare intently at my beer bottle's design. It's a cool-looking snake wrapped around a man's neck. I kind of wish I was that guy right now.

I sigh. "I don't know, okay? I had a good time last night. He made me laugh, which is pretty infrequent. I know he's changed since high school. I know this time he's not going to shut me out. At least I hope he doesn't."

"He won't. You know he's never even flirted with anyone or ever been on a date willingly? All because of you." He laughs and shakes his head.

"What?" I ask.

"Just… It's funny." He continues to smile as he shakes his head.

"What is so hilarious in this situation, Uriah?"

"Four. Four is funny. He found love as a teenager—the only girl he's ever loved—then she got away. Did you know he would secretly listen to The One That Got Away by Katy Perry?" He laughs. "But the funny thing is: He still hasn't gotten over you. And now that he has a chance to be with you again, I don't think he's going to let you get away this time," he finishes.

"Whatever, Uri. He didn't find love. He found me. And whatever he felt, it wasn't love, that's for sure." I take another swig of beer.

"We saw the way he looked at you. Hell, even the way he talked about you last—" he cuts himself off.

"Aw, he was talking about me?" I smile and touch my hand to my heart.

He lets out a breath. "Yeah. But you can tell, Tris, he really cares about you."

"Nobody cares about me," I whisper so he can't hear me. "I have to go. I'll… I'll see you around." I leave a five on the counter for the bartender and walk into the fresh air and out of the smelly bar.

I pull my phone out of my pocket since I don't carry around a humongous purse like most women. I see a message from Tobias.

_(6:01) Tobias: Plans at Chris's got cancelled. Wanna grab a bite?_

_(6:22) Tris: Sure. Where at?_

_(6:23) Tobias: Just meet me at the place from yesterday._

_(6:25) Tris: Okay._

That boy sure is persistent. He always texts me back like right when I close my screen.

I walk there, knowing I'll be early. But I seem to contradict myself because I see him sitting there through the window, ordering something from the waiter.

I walk in, and the bell rings.

"Ah, Tris!" The woman says. Giulia. The co-owner of the café, along with her husband, Luciano. They're both in their fifties, and they came here from Italy at about the age of 25.

"Hi, Giulia." I smile.

"That boy over there. He says he's waiting for you?" She asks with hope. I come here all the time, she says how pretty I am, how I don't have boyfriend. I immediately deny the pretty part.

"Oh, yeah, he's just a friend though." I give her a small, smug smile to satisfy her.

"You two are not 'just friends.' I tell by the way he looks at you." She clasps her hands together. Sometimes it's hard to understand her from her thick accent.

I look back at him, just to see him already staring back. I give him a small smile, and he returns an even bigger one.

"You see? He likes you, my dearest Tris." I know she looks at me like her own daughter, since her own is off at Stanford, like Caleb.

I shake my head. "I really don't think so. I don't know why any guy would like me," I tell her shyly.

"My Tris! How could you say such a thing? Sei così bella. Ogni ragazzo sarebbe fortunato ad averti!" _You are so beautiful, and guy would be lucky to have you._

"Lo davvero non la penso così, ma ringrazio." _I really do not think so, but thank you. _I know some basic Italian.

She shakes her head. "Go to your man."

I roll my eyes and smile at her.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi."

As soon as he says that, my phone rings. I look at it, seeing if it's important. Caleb.

"Hey, um, do you mind if I take it? We never get to talk."

"Of course, go ahead."

I press the accept button.

"Hello?"

"Tris. How are you?"

"I'm good. How's the college life?"

"Fantastic. I actually graduate next week, valedictorian, with my Ph.D."

"No way! That's amazing. Are you going to walk?"

"Yeah. Are you going to come?"

"Of course! When is it?"

"June 16th. It's a Friday."

"Yes! I'm definitely coming. I mean, you came for me, so it's only fair. But I'd come even if you didn't." I chuckle.

"Okay. It starts at 7 o'clock, but you might want to get there earlier."

"Okay. Sounds good. Love you."

"Love you."

I press the red end button.

Tobias looks at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Just a guy." I shrug. Let's see how this goes.

"That you love?"

"Yeah…"

"And don't you think he'd care that you were with me?"

I shrug. Caleb would care, he's very protective. "I guess so, yeah."

"Tris, why didn't you tell me?"

"Um, because you already know him."

"Tris, don't. I didn't think you were like that." He starts to get up.

"Tobias." I touch his arm. "It was—"

"No, Tris! Do you really think your boyfriend would like you hanging out with a guy that has fe—" he cuts himself off. "Do you really think he'd like you hanging out with me?"

"Tobias, just sit down and listen."

He sighs and sits down uncomfortably.

"That guy. He was my brother."

His mouth drops a little. "Crap. I'm sorry, Tris. I just thought…"

"Well, you thought wrong."

"The way you worded things didn't particularly help either." He smirks.

I shrug. "The past is in the past."

"Frozen? Really? You're one of _those _people?"

"Huh? What's Frozen?"

He lets out a breath and mumbles, "Thank god." Then, louder, he says, "The past is in the past is a quote from a song in it."

"It's just a quote I really like. What is this Frozen you speak of?"

He then informs me that it is a little-kid musical that young-adults have an obsession with.

"Please never make me watch that."

"I won't, considering I don't want to either. Chris made all of us watch it."

I nod. "Seems like her."

An awkward silence passes over.

"I couldn't help but notice your ringtone. Happiness by Three Days Grace. Is there meaning behind that?"

"Not something I typically like to talk about." I look out the window.

"Are you down, Tris?" He asks quietly and reaches at my hand resting on the table.

My eyes flicker down to our hands, but I don't move it.

"I said I didn't like talking about it."

"Please just tell me. I want to help you." He squeezes my hand.

"Fine. I take anti-depressants, but I don't hurt myself. Happy?" I still have yet to look him in the eye, knowing there will be disapproval in them. "But I'm trying. I really am." I feel water trickle down my face, but I don't dare to let any more fall. He slowly wipes it away with his thumb. I finally remove my hand from his and look at him. I don't see disapproval, no. Just hope in his expression.

He finally says, "To answer your question: No, I am not happy."

I give him a confused look.

"I am not happy until you are."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

_Sorry for not updating in an entire week :( I posted a one-shot, so you can go read that if ya want to. I should have even more time to write now that volleyball season is over._

**Tris P.O.V.**

**(Next Day)**

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" I pace up and down my living room floor as I clutch my scalp.

"Tris, just calm down," Crash demands.

"How? How can I calm down with thoughts like those from last night? This is not okay, Crash!" I yell and throw my hands in the air exasperatedly.

"What's so bad about it?"

I stop in my tracks. Did he really just ask what was so bad about this entire situation? "You're such a…"

"What? Asshole?" he implies.

"Guy. You are such a guy."

He seems confused for a second, but then gets it. Earlier this month, we'd had a conversation splitting up each gender. There the boys and girls, right? Then, what separate boys is the men and guys. Then what separates the girls is the women and chicks. You see, what asunders the men and boys is the way they act. Guys are… well, guys. They toy around with girls and are basically huge inconsiderate assholes. Men are people who treat their woman with respect, and actually appreciate them. Tobias would be a great example for that category. Then, what splits the girls is how they act—and, quite frankly, what they wear. Women are girls who respect themselves enough not to throw themselves at men—or guys, who'd gladly accept with open arms. Chicks are ones who wear extremely slutty things. Like, to the gym, for example. Some wear booty shorts and a sports bra. And when I say booty shorts, I mean their entire ass-cheek is practically hanging out. When I go to the gym, I wear a pair of capris/leggings made for exercising and a tank top. Though I don't flaunt myself, I still involuntarily get guys staring at my ass. It also makes me extremely uncomfortable.

"You've got to be joking," he scoffs.

"Not really." I cross my arms.

"I don't toy with girls. You know that."

I sigh. "Yeah, but you're acting like an inconsiderate dick."

His face softens. "I know, I know. I just think you're over-reacting about all of this."

"No I'm not. I can't be thinking like this. I thought about kissing him! I can't possibly like him like that. He's like my brother. He's like you."

"I think I'll be the judge of that." He steals my phone off the table and runs into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

"Crash!" I bang on the door.

"All set." He comes out two minutes later, handing me my phone. "I'm going to be out for a while. I'll see you at about 8ish?"

I heave a sigh. "Whatever."

And with that, he shuts the front door behind him.

I lounge around until about 7 o'clock when I decide I'm hungry.

I go into my kitchen and start to rummage through the cabinets. I find two boxes of Kraft macaroni, graham crackers, marshmallows, Frosted Flakes, and four packs of Ramen noodles. What a selection. I go to the fridge and see milk, chocolate, apples, and orange juice.

I decide not to eat anything and just go to the beach. I put my wetsuit on and grab my surfboard as I head out the door. I pack a towel and phone along with me in my beach bag. I start making my way to the ocean, guided by the smell of salty water.

As I walk on the sidewalk, I get multiple glances from many guys. I try to ignore it, yet find it so hard to not punch them in the face.

An hour later when I'm done surfing, I start walking home. I feel someone drape their arm over my shoulder, and I don't think twice about punching them. So I do. I punch the guy square in the jaw.

"Tell me," he says, "is that how you swoon every guy?"

I see Tobias holding his jaw.

I roll my eyes and continue walking.

"Wait, wait, Tris." He jogs up to my side. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd punch me." He chuckles.

"Yeah. Hilarious," I say with no emotion.

"So, you surf?" he asks.

"Yeah," I blatantly say.

"You think you could teach me sometime?"

I shrug, nonresponsive.

"Where you headed?" he grills.

"468 Springmill Road. Sunset District."

"Cool. Can I walk you home? I live just a few streets down, I think."

I shrug. "I guess."

"So… Do you, uhm, maybe want to hang out Friday?" He shoves his hands in his pockets.

"Ah, I can't. I have to go to my brother's graduation that day."

He nods. "Will there be a party along with it?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Well, theoretically, if there _was_ a party, wouldn't you need a date?"

My eyebrows rise. "Um, probably not. I think Caleb and I might just go out to dinner or something." I shrug, trying to easily decline. "But if I _did_ need a date, you would not be my first pick." I smile.

"Oh. Ah, okay?" He tries to keep the sadness out of his voice.

"It'd be Logan Lerman. Definitely him. But you'd be my second." I smirk.

"Who's Logan Lerman?" he asks with a hint of jealousy, which doesn't surprise me.

"Oh," I say, "he's just a really hot actor."

"So in reality I'd still be your first choice?" He grins.

I shrug, not wanting to give him satisfaction.

I pull my phone out of my beach bag and see that I have a missed call from Crash and four text messages.

"Jesus, Crash," I mumble.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. At least, I hope nothing. It's already 8:45 and he said he'd meet me at around eight."

"I'm sure he's fine. I just saw him about 30 minutes ago." He shrugs.

"How?"

He furrows his eyebrows. "He didn't tell you he called me?"

"Ah, no." I cross my arms and stop in front of my apartment complex building.

He looks up, as if he's inspecting it.

"Then I probably shouldn't tell you…" He scratches the back of his neck.

"_Four_. Just tell me." I roll my eyes and put my hands on my hips.

"What do _you_ think we were talking about?"

I shrug. "The only thing you two have in common is me. And since I'm typically not the topic of conversation, I have no clue what you two could possibly meet up for."

"You. He wanted to talk about you."

"HA!" I point a finger at him. "You're funny, Tobias. Real funny. I am _not _a sociable person, nor am I an interesting enough person to have a conversation about."

He doesn't say anything, so I turn my head and look at the skyline of San Francisco since we're at an elevated height.

Suddenly, I feel warmth spread across my face. I don't dare turn my cheek, knowing if I do our lips would touch. He holds his lips there for longer than a normal person, but, quite honestly, I don't find myself being belligerent.

Then he whispers, "If you're not interesting enough, then how come all I can ever think about is you?"

My mouth gapes a little, and since I feel like jell-o, it stays that way. I turn my head just the slightest bit, yet I find our cheeks are touching. I give my head one more quick turn, and my lips find his jaw bone.

"Thanks," I say breathlessly, though we've stood in place the entire exchange. I say no more, just turn and walk towards my door without looking back.

**Tobias P.O.V.**

**-Saturday-**

Ever since Crash talked to me about Tris, I've been at everything but ease. He was very adamant about me not hurting her because she was 'delicate.' I told him straight to his face that that statement was the complete contradictory. She was everything but. Then he proceeded to tell me that she'd been pissed at me. I then asked him why, but he said he hadn't known. Said she was temperamental nowadays. But, you see, that did _not_ sound like the Tris I know. After we'd continued to tell each other what's best for her, I went to take a walk along the coastline. I was basically arguing with him about her strength. He'd insisted that I should stay away from her because she was fragile, but I knew he had to have been lying. Tris is not temperamental. If anything, she's the exact opposite. She likes to remain low-key, and she doesn't like making a scene. I ran into her while I was walking on the beach, and couldn't help but think we run into each so much we may as well have made plans together. Yesterday at work, Harrison gave a few of us tickets to go see the San Francisco 49ers play against the Kansas City Chiefs. I happily accepted the two tickets with great gluttony. Which is why I'm here right now. At Tris's front door.

I slowly knock on the flimsy wooden door of apartment number 6. _(A/N Would you guys believe me if I said I just had to? XD)_

"What?" she asks irritated as she swings to the door open. When she sees me, she softens. "Sorry. Could you hang on a second?"

"Sure?" I say uncertainly.

She shuts the door, but I hear her scream, "Get the hell out, Crash!"

I step to the right and lean against the wall, crossing my arms. The door swings open and crash angrily walks out.

I slowly peer over the door. "Is this a bad time?"

She laughs solemnly. "It really is, but come in anyway."

"Oh. I'll just go th—"

She grabs my wrist and pulls me into a hug, slamming the door behind us. I am taken aback, but immediately wrap my arms around her waist.

"What happened with you and Crash?" I mumble into her hair.

"I don't know," she whispers and pulls back. She walks over to the couch and I follow. "He was basically going ballistic saying that you were going to hurt me… and… I just… I don't know what got into him."

An overwhelming silence takes over the room.

"What did he say to you a few nights ago?"

"Well… He was practically saying you couldn't handle being hurt; that you were weak. He then proceeded to tell me I needed to stay away from you because of that reason specifically. Then he and I got into a huge fight because I was defending you saying you weren't weak. Then he was saying you were pissed at me and I knew it wasn't true. I know you're not that kind of girl."

She looks up with teary eyes and whispers, "Thank you."

"C'mere." I open my arms. She scoots closer to me and buries her head into my chest.

"I thought he was a real friend this time. This is why I don't make friends. It always ends badly. Hopefully this time around will be better with you." She gives a small smile up at me. She lays her head back on my chest and says, "What did you come—" She abruptly stops and gets up. She straightens her shirt. "This is inappropriate. We're just friends. Right?" she asks worriedly, but I don't respond. "_Right?_"

_Are we? _I think, but I don't dare say it out loud. "Friends hold each other when they cry, correct?"

She looks away, knowing I'm right. She cautiously walks over and sits back down on the other side of the couch. She props her legs up on my lap and I lay my arms over her ankles.

"I came over here because I have," I reach to my back pocket and pull the tickets out, "these."

She reaches out to see what they are, and when she holds them closer, her eyes widen.

"No way."

"One of those is yours if you'll go with me?"

"Yes! Of course! They are awesome. How'd you get them?"

"The captain at the station. He gave the other guys some tickets too. You'll like them."

I see a spark in her eye. "Are any of them single?"

Wow. I was not expecting that.

I scratch the back of my neck. "Oh, um, yeah, a few… but—"

"Tobias. I'm only joking." She laughs, but I stay stiff.

She sighs. "Tobias. You know I don't like my friends setting me up. I was just hoodwinkin' you. You know, flimflammin'. Razzin'. Bamboozlin'." She winks and grins, and somehow one works its way onto my face, too, because I can't seem to get enough of this girl's alluring personality.

**-Sunday-**

I'm walking to Tris's apartment for the second day in a row. We just decided we'd take a taxi since it's, unfortunately, about 40 minutes away. Not that I'd mind being alone with her for that long, anyway.

I knock on her door.

"It's open!" she yells.

I carefully open the creaky, squeaky door.

She steps out of the bathroom with her hair straightened, minimal make-up, ball cap, a 49ers logo on her shirt, short jean shorts—definitely not daisy dukes, she's not like that—and flip-flops. She has a toothbrush in her mouth.

I smile. Just natural Tris here.

She momentarily takes the toothbrush out of her mouth. "Is this okay? The forecast said it was supposed to be 85 today."

"Perfect." I smirk.

"Okay. I'll be done in just a minute." She walks back into the bathroom.

A minute later, just like she said, she comes out. She grabs her wallet, phone, and a plastic water bottle for the road.

"Ready?" she asks with a smile.

"Of course."

She walks out the door, locking it behind her.

We walk a little until we find cab, hail it, and climb in.

"So," she says one we climb in, "what are your coworkers like?"

"They all are pretty cool. Except one girl named Kendall. I don't know if she's coming." I shrug.

"Is she a cop like you?"

"No." I shake my head. "She's the secretary at the front desk."

"Oh," is all she says.

After a few seconds of silence, I ask, "Are you excited?"

"Of course! I'm thrilled. I actually have been watching every game since I've come here. Two losses, two wins so far. But when they lost against… da bears… that was disappointing." She grins.

"It's… da bears." I laugh.

"You know that?" she asks, tipping her head to one side.

"Everyone knows that." I chuckle.

She turns her head to the window. "Hm," she says.

"What?" I ask curiously.

She takes her phone out of her pocket and shows me the lock screen without even looking at me. It reads 'JUST THINKING.'

"About?"

She shrugs and still continues to look out the window. "You."

My heart rate picks up, just as if I had ran on the track about a hundred times.

I somehow choke out a, "Because?"

"I don't know, actually," she says stoically.

"How's that?" I ask, leaning closer to her, over the center seat that fits a third person.

She shrugs, not giving me a definite answer.

"You know, you look really cute with your hair straightened." I take a strand and flick it with my finger.

She turns her head to me and scoffs playfully as she rolls her eyes. "You've been spending too much time with Christina."

I shake my head. "I haven't, actually. I just don't see many beautiful things in my life, but when I do, I feel the need to compliment them."

She blushes and gives me a shy smile.

"I am far from beautiful, Tobias," she whispers.

I grin. "You're right. You are _beyond _beautiful. You are _foxy._"

When I say that, she giggles. "You're a twit, you know that?"

"I know. But that's why you love me." I wink.

"Yeah. That's the reason." She rolls her eyes. "And who says I love you, anyway?" She gives me a sideways glance as she smirks and crosses her arms.

"That glint in your eyes says so. You love me."

"I'm not _in _love with you, but yes, whatever, I love you. Happy?"

"Sure am. I love you too." I clutch my chest where my heart lies.

About twenty minutes later, we arrive at Levi's Stadium.

Tris insists on paying the cab driver since I got us the tickets, but I pay anyway.

"The guy always has to pay for the girl. Always."

"Women can take care of themselves just as well," she huffs and rolls her eyes as she crosses her arms.

"Hey, hey, I never said that. I was just trying not to act like a dick." I laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Picture?" she asks, taking her phone out.

"Huh? Oh, in front of the stadium? Sure. Give me your phone. You can stand in front of the big metal structure thingy."

"Are you stupid? You're going to be in it with me." She rolls her eyes for the thousandth time today.

My eyebrows rise. "Okay."

I put my right cheek on her left one and smile. She stretches her arm out and angles the phone camera so that you can see the stadium behind us. She takes a few more, both of us making silly faces. And when I think she's done, I look down at her and smile. But she's not done. She snapped the one of me looking down at her.

"Can I see those?" I ask with my palm out.

"Don't delete any okay?" She hesitantly hands me her phone.

I don't delete a single one. I send every one of them to my phone.

"Thanks," she says once I hand her phone back to her.

"I sent all those pictures to my phone."

She smiles.

This is going to be a good night.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Tobias P.O.V.**

I hand the man our tickets so we can get into the stadium.

He nods his head once and says, "Enter."

Once Tris and I walk past him, we look at each other and laugh.

"What was _that?_" Tris asks. She raises her hands up to her shoulders. "Oh, I'm Mr. Tuff Guy. You may enter," she says in a mock manly voice, in which I only laugh harder. So hard, I grab onto the pole next to me.

After we calm down, he asks, "Do you want anything to eat? Drink?"

"Not with your money I don't." She crosses her arms. "You already paid for the cab, so I'm buying my own drink."

"No, you are not. I'm the gentleman, so I will be buying everything for you."

"You know what? Fine. Waste your money on me. See if I give a shit." She throws her hands up in the air in exasperation.

I cheekily smile. "I win."

She just rolls her eyes. I see she's making a habit of it.

We walk over to the nearest concession bar and she orders a Bud Light, and me the same.

"Thanks," she says. She then takes a sip on the mouth of the bottle. Would it be creepy to say I wished I were that bottle?

I begin to travel to our section where are seats are. I must say, Harrison did a pretty good job. Our seats are extremely close to the field. The entire row is already filled with my coworkers. I give the smallest hint of a smile towards all of them. Then I see Kendall. Fantastic. Tris follows me lead as I walk towards our seats next to Harrison. I see a few of my other coworkers—Corey, Shaun, and Jason—checking Tris out.

_Of course they're going to check her out, idiot. Hello! She's most gorgeous woman you've ever laid your eyes on._

I sit next to Harrison while Tris sits next to me and Corey, much to my displeasure.

I look at Harrison to see his eyebrows raised and his eyes flicking to Tris.

I grin and whisper, "Later. It's complicated."

He nods. You never would have though your forty-five-year-old boss would be so interested in your love life.

"So, Tris, this is Captain Harrison. He's the one that gave us the tickets."

"Tris Prior." She smiles and sticks her free hand out—the one without the beer.

He looks at her other hand and smiles. "You can call me Jack. That's my first name. Jack Harrison." He shakes her hand respectfully.

I wish it were that easy for me.

"You're the bassist in the San Francisco Philharmonic," he states more than questions.

"Yeah." She smiles and turns her head. "You listen to classical?"

"Some. I love seeing live music. Your name just stuck because you're _the_ Tris Prior. Twenty-three-year-old in the philharmonic? Practically unheard of," Harrison practically voices to the whole stadium.

Tris blushes. "Thank you, Jack. I really do have many other interests though. I love rock music, too. People think I'm obsessed with classical, but it's more so in between. Even things like this, too. I've watched all of their games. I'm a true niner fan." She smiles. "I was ecstatic when Four asked if I wanted to come with him." Her eyes flick over to mine.

"Wehell," Harrison says, "seems Four here has found the perfect girl." He pats me on the back and smirks.

Tris and I both blush, but neither of us says anything.

Tris clears her throat. "I'm going to go to the restroom."

"You need me to take you?" I get ready to stand up.

She smiles. "Thank you, but I think I can handle myself."

Once she is out of hearing range, I turn to Harrison, but he's already looking at me, waiting for me to explain.

"Okay. So, you remember that girl from when I was in high school?" I run my hand through my hair.

He just nods.

"That's her. She got into a great musician school here and now she plays the philharmonic." I smile with a lot of pride in my voice. "So, right now, we are just friends. I really like her, but this time I'm doing things right. I'm waiting until I know she's ready, because I am not screwing this up. I don't know how, or why I'd get another chance, but I'm just praying to god that I don't screw it up."

Harrison smiles. "I knew something was up with you. You acting like you were on Cloud 9. Always in a good mood." He punches my shoulder.

"Oh come on. Were you not like that with your wife when you met her?"

"Touché. And I am still like that. Completely smitten, just like you." He looks at his wife and grabs her hand.

"I am not—" I pause. "Whatever." I take a sip of my beer.

"So, your girl Tris. She drinks, watches sports, likes rock music, she's nice, she's funny, _and_ gorgeous? How does all of that fit into one person?" Corey asks.

I shrug. "I don't know. She is truly impeccable," I say with amazement in my voice.

She comes back with nachos in her hand before Corey can ask any more questions.

"Tris!" I exclaim softly. "I told you I was buying everything for you."

"Oh my god." She rolls her eyes. "You are such a teddy bear, Tobias," she whispers. "When I came out of the bathroom, I smelt nachos, so I got some. I wasn't going to walk all the way here to make you get up, get me nachos, and walk all the way back. That's bitchy," she continues to talk in a hushed tone.

"Everything else. I'm paying for everything else."

We are interrupted by Kendall behind us saying, "Honey, can you go get me a beer?" She puts her hand onto this week's boyfriend's chest.

He sighs. "Sure."

"Thank you, babe." She gives him a sloppy kiss on the lips.

"See," Tris whispers, "that was bitchy. You are not my bitch-boy." She giggles.

"I can be." I wink.

She rolls her eyes and smiles, all the while making eye contact. The Tris I know would usually shy away from that comment. This one embraces it.

"Taking it slow, my ass," Harrison mumbles so only I can hear, but I ignore. I know he couldn't hear our conversation, but I know he heard her giggle.

And so the game begins.

It's now halftime and the 49ers are winning. We all decide to stay in our seats since it's chaos out there. Tris and I switched seats somewhere around second quarter because there was a tall guy in front of her, but I know that wasn't the reason. It was Corey. So I gladly conceded.

"Oh my god," Tris says. "The kiss-cam. I hate those things. Not that I have anything against PDA, but they act like they need a mattress with them at all times! Seriously people." She rolls her eyes.

"You may want to look up, Tris." I nudge her with my elbow and laugh.

The heart on the kiss-cam is encasing Tris. And Harrison. They both look up at the same time and look each other. Then they start laughing hysterically. She kisses his cheek and the cam moves on. I have to admit, that was pretty hilarious. However, if it were her and Corey, I would have flipped a switch. Definitely not okay.

She turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. I smile. "Just for reassurance that you don't have to compete with Jack." She winks.

Now, _that. That_ makes my heart flutter. She made the first move this time, and it couldn't have been better.

"Wow, Tris, quite the flirt you are," Kendall remarks, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh, come on. I was _not_ flirting with Harrison. That'd be gross. No offense, Jack." She looks at him shortly and turns back to Kendall. "He's, what, double my age? And as for Four, I'm allowed to flirt with him. He's my age, and he's single." She shrugs. "I can do whatever the hell I want." She turns toward the field and takes a sip of her second, and probably last, beer. Knowing her, she probably won't overdo it, even though we are taking a cab back home.

I look down at her and smile. She handled that so well.

She notices me staring at her, and turns her head up. One of her eyebrows goes up, as if she's questioning me. Which she is.

"What?" she asks, when I don't say anything. "Is there something on my face?" She chuckles.

"No." I shake my head slightly. "Just… You." I smirk.

"What _about_ me?" she asks with curiosity in her voice.

"You know, curiosity killed the cat. I was thinking about how_ pulchritudinous _you were."

"But satisfaction brought it back." She grins.

"What?"

"Bus satisfaction brought it back. That's the real ending. Not many people know it." She shrugs. "Too absorbed with wanting people out of their business, I suppose, so the person never got the satisfaction of knowing."

I nod. "Makes sense. You know, I learned the word pulchritudinous just for you? I hear you say it all the time. Why?"

"It makes me feel smarter than everybody else." She grins.

"That's because you _are_ smarter than everybody else." I chuckle.

She rolls her eyes. "Right. Because I am just a natural-born genius."

I shrug, not furthering the conversation any longer. I can't stand talking to her when she puts herself down like that.

"I don't like it when you do that, Tris," I say softly.

"Do what?" She narrows her eyebrows.

"Put negative comments on yourself."

"Would you rather me put negative comments on you?" she asks smartly.

"Better me than you," I mumble.

She turns back towards the field, and without looking at me, she says, "I heard that, just so you're aware."

"Good. Then why don't you do it to me?"

At this, her head snaps in my direction. Then she shakes it. "So, you'd rather yourself be depressed rather than me? You're a madman. You don't…" She breathes out. "You don't understand. What it's like."

"I'd beg to differ, Tris."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Do you ask me that because you actually expect me to answer?" I ask.

"Why do you say vague things if you don't want to be asked about them?" she retorts.

"Touché, Prior."

"You're explaining tomorrow, Eaton." She points her finger at me.

I shrug. "Whatever."

"Why don't we lighten the mood?" she asks me.

"How's that?" I ask.

"Just follow me." She gets up, grabs my hand, and squeezes us through the row.

"Tris, may I ask where we're going?"

"Well," she says, "I'm going to the gift shop to buy myself a foam finger. You in?"

"Of course." I grin. Why? She hasn't let go of my hand, and I don't think she will, considering her tight grip.

We walk out of the shop, hands untwined since we were wondering around the store separately. I paid for her foam finger, of course.

She is looking to the right, mainly at all the people, but I am on her left. I look down at our hands. Side by side. I move my hand just a millimeter away from hers, about ready to grab it, but I hesitate. She looks at me. Just for a split second, she saw my head down, looking at our hands. She looks down, then up, and grabs my hand.

I try to suppress a smile. I don't.

Then, without looking at me, she says, "Wussy."

**Tris P.O.V.**

As we walk out of the stadium after the game with Tobias's 'acquaintances,' per se, someone grabs my wrist. Since Tobias is talking with someone else, he doesn't notice. When I look at the face, I see it's Jack.

"I like you, you know. For him. He told me he hurt a girl he really cared about in high school and he still wasn't over her when I was interviewing him. That girl was you. Since you came along, he's been just dandy. I'm glad you gave him a second chance. If you hadn't, he probably wouldn't be at this game. You make him a good person. No matter what you think, he loves you."

"Well, thank you, but he told me he loved me earlier today," I explain.

"No, not like that. He's _in _love with you."

I blush. "No." I shake my head vigorously. "That's not possible." I chuckle. "But thank you, Jack. It's been a pleasure," I say as we head our separate ways.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. Maybe we can come to another game sometime? Just me, my wife, you, and Four. How does that sound?"

"That sounds like a ton of fun. Again, thank you so much, Jack."

And with that, I climb into the cab that Tobias hailed.

Today was exhausting, but amazing. The niners won 22-17. I lay my head on Tobias's shoulder since I moved to the middle seat. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, tugging me closer.

Though we are inside a taxi, the sunset still makes everything ten times colder.

The last thing I remember is Tobias draping his sweatshirt across my shoulders.

When I awaken, Tobias is running his thumb across my cheek.

"We're here."

I sit up and see we are only a few roads away from my apartment.

The cab pulls up to my driveway. Tobias pays, no shock there, and the cabbie leaves.

Tobias walks me to my doorstep. Well, door_mat_, considering I don't really have a doorstep.

"I had a great time. Thank you. For everything." I smile. I turn my key into my lock, but don't step inside. I look up at him, and do something audacious. I quickly stand on my tiptoes, peck him on the lips—barely brushing them—and walk into my apartment without a word. I slide down against my door. Judging by the lack of movement I can't hear, he hasn't left. After about a minute, he leaves.

For once, I don't regret my decision of being brave.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**Tris P.O.V.**

Today is Tuesday. Two days since Tobias and I's… kiss? When I did that I felt a rush of frisson, and nobody's ever made me feel like that. Obviously nothing's changed. It's the same exact feeling I got five years ago. And when I say this, I mean it quite frankly; I want it to happen again. But this time, I'm waiting until he makes the first move, because even though we barely kissed last night, it was very ballsy of me to do that. If he can't take a hint, then he's damn near asinine. He hasn't made any effort to contact me since Sunday, either. But, then again, neither have I. On Vine, though, I'd seen he posted one with all of the pictures of us in a collage. Just after, I'd clicked the comment button. Definitely not a good idea. It said things like "On your profile it still says you're single!", "Admit you two are together!", and things simple and sweet as, "Aw :3."

The thing that befuddled me was the fact that below the video he'd written, "Now things are coming clear." What could that possibly even mean?

As I step out of the auditorium after practice, someone grabs my wrist. I immediately recoil and get ready to punch them in the face. But then I see the face. Crash. I hesitantly lower my fist and he releases my wrist.

"Can we talk?" he asks pleadingly.

I look away. "Ten minutes, tops. Talk."

"So… I saw those pictures of you and Four on Vine. You two went to a niners game?"

"Yeah. Your point here?" I ask.

"_We_ were supposed to go together. _I_ was supposed to be the one who took you and bought you beers and held your hand and… I was supposed to be the one that looked at you the way Four does. That was supposed to be me, Tris."

"Crash, we're just friends," I mumble as I look down and play with the string of the sweatshirt I'm wearing.

"Who? You and me, or you and Four?"

Better not to piss him off anymore. "Four and I."

"Really?" he scoffs. "Because the sweatshirt wearing really says, 'I didn't sleep with some guy last night.'"

I make a contorted, unreadable face. "You've got to be joking!" I laugh in disbelief. "You have _got_ to be joking." I put my hands on my hips. "He gave me this," I motion to my—Four's—sweatshirt, "Sunday night after the game in the taxi because it was cold outside." Then I look away. I say in a softer voice, "That's all that happened."

"Right. I'm sure that's all of it." He rolls his eyes.

"I—" I stop and think. "I don't have to explain myself to you. It's my life. So go fuck off."

He doesn't say anything. He just stands there and looks at everything but me.

I begin to walk away, but spin on my heel, looking toward him, straight in the eye.

"And, Crash, I kissed him for the first time on Sunday. And you know what?" I boast. "I liked it."

I feel satisfaction and pride crawl under my skin as I approach the sidewalk to walk home. I feel drops on Four's sweatshirt. I look up and see the dark clouds. It's raining. Well, more so of a drizzle.

A car pulls up and drives slowly next to me and I begin to feel cautious. "Hey, pretty lady, you need a ride?" Uriah. Who else? The rain drops pound harder and I reluctantly climb in the passenger seat.

"So," I say as soon as I jump in. "How are you, Uri?"

He grins. "I'm great actually. Just bought this baby about a half hour ago." He pats the steering wheel. "I'd ask how you are, but I already know because Four will not shut up about you. Speaking of, how come you haven't hung out with us yet?"

I shrug. "Every time I make friends it ends badly."

He furrows his brow. "What about that Crash guy?"

"Ha. Kind of funny actually… I just got in a fight with him. He—"

"Wait. Is that Four's sweatshirt?" He smirks.

"Maybe," I mumble while playing with the hem.

He doesn't say anything, just smirks and pulls into his driveway.

"I never said I was coming ove—"

"I know. But you're here now, and it's thundering out there, so I guess you have to stay." He frowns mockingly.

"Prick," I mumble.

"Hey, don't get out of the car yet," he says while my hand lies on the door handle.

"What?"

"Did you really kiss Four?"

"Well… Not particularly. It was more of a… brush?"

"So, technically, you're not denying it?" he asks, a smug smirk playing on his face.

I get out of the car, practically sprinting towards the awning.

He follows shortly, leading me to the upstairs portion of the complex.

"Four is apartment number six." He winks.

I roll my eyes and continue my short trek down the hallway.

I lift my fist up to the wooden door, but hesitate. I quickly pull off the sweatshirt. Underneath lays a tight, black, tank-top that reads "Pain is weakness leaving the body," but I couldn't really give a shit less. I usually wear it to the gym. I fix my hair and straighten my top. I'm wearing a tank top, blue-jean shorts, black combat boots, and my hair is in a ponytail down my right shoulder. Classy, Tris, real classy.

I finally knock on the door and Tobias answers quickly.

"What?" he asks venomously until he sees me. "Sorry. I was just about to call you." He waves his phone in the air. "And I didn't want to be interrupted." He smiles and looks me up and down. "You look good, Tris." I just stand there awkwardly in the silence. I was kind of expecting him to invite me in, but I guess not... "Oh! Come in." He opens the door wider.

I step in and immediately take in my surroundings. Surprisingly clean for a single man living alone.

I turn around, pushing his sweatshirt out to him. "Here. I didn't realize I'd taken it with me on Sunday. I wore it today. Hope you don't mind." I blush.

He shakes his head. "Not one bit." He smugly smiles, probably content. "Here, sit down." He motions to the couch.

I take a seat, taking my shoes off and bringing them up on the couch.

"How'd you find out where I live?" He sits on the opposite side of me on the couch.

"Uriah found me walking home from practice as it started to rain and offered me a ride." I shrug. "Apparently he got a new car."

"Speaking of practice… Did you see Crash today?" he asks curiously.

I nod slowly. "He was saying how he and I were supposed to go to my first niners game together. Then, he proceeded to tell me that the sweatshirt I was wearing said, 'oh I totally didn't sleep with some guy last night' or something like that, sarcastically. I may not be a virgin anymore, but he knows that I don't do that kind of shit." I blush at what I just admitted.

"You're not?" he asks, knowing my past with my father.

I turn away. "I was really drunk… It was my first and only time," I breathe out. "And the guy. He wasn't even drunk. He knew what he was taking advantage of."

At this, Tobias's hands clench.

"Anyway," I divert, "what are you doing tonight?"

"Well, I was supposed to go with the gang—and Nicole—to go see _Annabelle_. You want to come?"

"You know, it's kind of funny you don't consider Nicole a part of your group." I chuckle.

"I don't like her." He shrugs. "Anyway, you in?"

I lift a shoulder. "I guess. I can't avoid them forever, right?" _Especially if we start dating. _

"Yep. You want to go to Chris's? That's where everybody usually is."

"Sure." I slip my boots back on.

We walk down the hallway a few doors down and Tobias knocks once then barges in.

"You obviously don't know how to knock properly," I say once we enter. Everyone is scattered around the living room—Shauna and Zeke sprawled out on the ground spooning, Chris and Will spooning on the couch, Uriah, Marlene, and Nicole sitting up against thewall talking to each other resting their elbows on their knees. At my voice, all of their heads snap up.

"Tris!" everyone shouts, except Nicole. She barely knows me. And probably for other various reason.

"Are you coming to see _Annabelle_ with us?" Zeke asks.

"Of course." I smile. "Horror movies are the best. Plus, I guess I kind of wanted to see you guys." I scrunch my nose up.

"Aw, Trissy!" Uriah gets up and opens his arms widely.

I pause for a moment and make a face asking, _Wow, are you really that stupid as to think I'll hug you? _"Uriah… Don't." I laugh.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Chris asks.

"Depends. Does it have alcohol in it?" I ask with a smile.

"Come on." She waves me toward the kitchen.

She opens the fridge, having various alcoholic beverages.

"Are these any good?" I grab the raspberry margarita can.

"Those are my favorite, actually. Try it."

I pop the tab and take a sip. "Damn. That's good." I take another gulp.

She jumps up on the counter and sits. I do the same.

"So, you and Four, huh?"

"You haven't changed much, I see." I smirk.

She shrugs. "I guess so. But you didn't answer the question. He told us you kissed him Sunday." She raises an eyebrow.

I blush. "I mean… It was more a brush of the lips." I scratch my neck.

"So you like him," she states more than questions.

I think about telling her. Why not? As long as he doesn't know everything's fine. "Fine. Yes. I don't you to tell him though. He needs to make the first move all by himself like a big boy should. This isn't high school anymore, Chris. Just… don't give anything away, alright?"

She puts her hands up in defense. "I won't, I won't. He likes you too. And, by the way," she says in a low, hushed voice, "Nicole isn't your replacement. She's practically a whore. Even Shauna thinks that and they're _sisters._ And Shauna's extremely nice. But that's why she invited her to come with us. Be aware that she has a thing for Four."

"Yeah, I know," I say dismissively.

She raises an eyebrow. "You seem pretty confident she won't steal your man."

I shrug. "I may not be as pretty as her, but I'm nicer. I've heard the stories from Four, trust me."

"Let's get back out there." She nods her head toward the living room.

Grabbing my drink, I follow her. It seems everyone's moved around. Uriah, Zeke, Will, and Tobias are standing up against the wall talking and Shauna, Marlene, and Nicole are sitting on the couch.

"Here, Chris, there's room for you." Nicole pats the spot next to her.

Chris waves her off. "I'd rather stand." Probably so I won't be left standing alone. Funny, Nicole doesn't offer the seat next to her for me.

"So, Nicole," I say, "you know Crash, right?"

"Yeah." She smiles smugly.

"We're friends," I lie. Technically not anymore, though. "He said he was really into you. You should call him. If he ignores you or doesn't answer, don't worry about it. He tries to play hard to get. You've just got to be consistent." This is a great plan of revenge. She'll constantly be calling him and annoying him; it'll be hilarious.

"I'll keep that in mind." She smirks.

"Everybody ready?" Uriah shouts. "The movie starts in a half hour."

We all head for the door. As I make my way to the door, Tobias grabs my hand and asks, "Are you ready to scream your head off?"

"You've got to be kidding. Haven't you ever seen _Sinister_?"

"That was the scariest movie I've ever seen," he says, "and I've seen many horror movies in my day."

"Same here. I'm ecstatic to see this, especially since _The Conjuring_ was so amazing. Well, part of the reason _The Conjuring_ is so good is because Patrick Wilson is in it and he's like one of the most gorgeous men on Earth."

He rolls his eyes.

"But not as cute as you." I put my bottom lip out and pinch his cheek like an old grandma would.

We step under the awning outside since it's still pouring down rain.

"Okay, five people can ride in my new car, so Zeke, Shauna, Marlene, Nicole, and I can all ride with me. Chris, Will, Tris, and Four, you can hail a cab and meet us there. Sound good?"

We all nod.

Tobias easily hails one and we climb in quickly so we don't get wet.

"Where to?" the cabbie asks.

"The Cinemark," Tobias answers.

"Alrighty." He, the driver, closes the window separating us.

"Usually," Tobias says, "it'd be a short walk, but I'm not really up for getting struck by lightning tonight." He chuckles.

"Yeah, I'd prefer you stick around and, you know, _not_ die." I smile.

Once we get there, Tobias pays the driver.

"Have a nice date night." He smiles and drives away. We both blush and look away from each other.

Against my protest, Tobias also pays for our tickets and snacks, which earns him a slap on the chest.

I take a handful of popcorn. "You know, I heard a movie theater was recently robbed of $1000."

"Really? Did they just take all of the cash or something?"

I shake my head. "Nope. Large popcorn and two drinks." I smirk.

"I see what you did there," he says, trying to suppress a smile.

We all walk into the correct theater number together. Since we're about twenty minutes early, there are only three other people here. We sit in the exact center. Nicole wanted to sit next to Tobias, but he purposely chose an end seat so I'd be the only one sitting next to him. Nicole's rejection may or may not have made me have a shit-eating grin on my face.

Two hours later, after the movie, I'm not the least bit scared, but that was definitely creepy. Everybody but Tobias and I are about ready to piss their pants out of horror, even Uriah and Zeke.

Eventually, we all head home and it's about 10 o'clock. But since it's _still_ pouring down rain, Tobias and I get soaked trying to hail a cab.

He walks me to my front door, still holding my hand.

"Thank you. For tonight." I smile up at him.

"My pleasure, trust me."

We look into each other's eyes without saying anything. He leans in, closing his eyes, and I stand on my tip-toes and close my eyes.

Then I hear a honk from the cab.

He pulls back and looks everywhere but me when he says, "G'night, Tris."

_You have got to be kidding right now._


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**Tobias P.O.V.**

**-Two days after-**

**(They haven't seen each other since. Currently they are wondering the sidewalk shops.)**

"You. You're the reason Tris stopped speaking to me." He strides up to me and my friends, but pokes me in the chest, not caring that my friends—excluding Tris—are here.

"I don't know what delusion you're living in, but she made that decision all by herself," I state. "That and you were acting like a total dick. Just sayin'."

"Well we were just peachy before you come along!" Crash exclaims.

I scoff. I'm not about to get in a fight over a girl. That's trashy.

"Listen," Chris says, "Tris is extremely pissed at you, so it's not like a simple 'sorry' will fix it. Plus, if you still want to be friends with her, you're going to have to put up with Four too. And us, for that matter."

"Well it's not like she can alternate days between the two of us." He scoffs.

"Are you serious? You talk about her like we have to take turns like a toy. Then you accuse her of sleeping with me because she was simply wearing my sweatshirt? That's pretty low, Crash. You of all people should know she doesn't sleep around like that. She really, really trusted you as a friend, and then you go deranged because she has another guy-friend? Do you know how possessive and crazy that is? Even if she was to go out with you and we still remain friends, she wouldn't last very long with you. She does not like being controlled or pitied or looked at as weak. If you were a real friend, you would have hidden your emotions and been by her side. So, Crash, sure, go ahead, and try to make amends. Whether she forgives you or not, I can't say. At the end of this all, I will not get in a petty fistfight with you over a girl," I finish. That's probably most I've said at one time since moving here.

"Whatever," he mumbles and walks away.

"You showed him." Chris chuckles.

Shauna waves her phone in the air then presses a button. "Good thing I have proof."

"Shauna," I say in a deathly tone, "I know you didn't just send that to Tris."

She smugly smiles.

"How'd you even get her number?" I ask, flustered.

"I took your phone one day and gave everybody else her number," Uriah says. "Thankfully it paid off today." He smirks.

"Just so you're prepared, I'll be getting revenge." I sweetly smile obnoxiously. I turn to Shauna. "And you too."

"Hey, hey, easy on my lady." Zeke protectively wraps his arm around her shoulder.

I roll my eyes. "I know, I know. The worst I'll do to her is put whipped cream in her pillow. As for your brother's safety… I can't promise anything."

Zeke shrugs. "Fine with me."

Uriah lets out a high-pitched scoff. "Brother!" He puts a hand over his heart dramatically.

"Tris is calling me, everybody shut up!" Shauna cries. We all do as she says.

"Hello? Oh, hey, Tris. Oh, nothin' much. Kind of just wandering the street shops, exploring. No, the girls and I are in a different store as them." She winks at all of us. "Of course you can talk to me and the girls. Well, how about I call you back in about fifteen minutes when we get home? Okay. Yeah. We'll talk to you then. Bye." Shauna hangs up the phone.

"Looks like we've got Mission Find-out-what's-going-on-in-Tris's-brain is underway," she says. "But I think the only people that listen should be Mar, me, Chris, and Four because we don't really know what all is about to happen. All the guys and Nicole can go to Four's. Sound good?"

Everyone nods.

We walk back to the apartment complex in silence.

The girls and I all go to Shauna's apartment and sit on the couch, while the rest of the guys—and Nicole—go to my apartment.

Shauna dials her number.

"Hello?" Tris answers.

"Heyyy," Chris says since it's on speaker phone.

"Hey, Chris. Who all's here?"

"Just me, Mar, and Shauna," Chris lies.

"Okay," she breathes. "I honestly don't why I'm going to tell you all of this. Probably because I have no one else besides Four. Beware: This will be the one and only time I pour out my angry and emphatic emotions, alright? So, after we all went to see _Annabelle_, Four walked me to my door from the cab. Since it was still pouring down rain, he just told the cabbie to wait so he could take him home. Anyway, he walked me to my door, and I thanked him. Then… Then we kind of stood there looking at each other. Just as his lips were about to touch mine, the cabbie honked. Can you fucking believe that? I was so angry; I literally went inside my apartment and threw the pillow against the wall. Like, seriously, how cliché could it get when it interrupted our moment. That cabbie was such an inconsiderate asshole! Last time when I barely kissed him, I made the first move. But of course, _right_ when _he _made the first move and it was about to be a _real _kiss, we get interrupted. God! Is it too much to ask for to get kissed?"

As she says all of these things, I am literally dancing around the room, pumping my fists into the air, mouthing _yes!_

"Man, Tris, that really sucks," Shauna says, suppressing her laughter towards me, "but I overheard he and Zeke talking in our apartment and he was saying the same exact thing." Shauna winks at me. It's true.

"Really? Ugh. I literally have the worst luck. Guess where I'm at right now."

"Where?" Mar asks.

"About twenty feet away from your complex. I'm going to go to Four's."

All of us look at each other with wide eyes.

"Okay, good luck," Shauna says and immediately hangs up. We all spring up and sprint to my apartment.

"Everybody hurry up and get out! Now! Sprint!" Shauna says.

Everybody does as told. Except Nicole she remains in place. "Get the f—"

I hear a knock at the door. I roll my eyes at Nicole.

I open the door, wide enough so she can see only me.

"Can we talk out here?" I nod towards the hall.

"I guess." She shrugs.

I come out and shut the door.

"Listen, Nicole is in there and she won't leave. All of us guys and she were in here except Mar, Chris, and Shauna. Said they had an important phone call. Anyway, what's up?" I lean against the door and cross my arms.

"Oh, nothing. I kind of just got bored. Probably should have told you I was coming by. I just took a walk and ended up here. You want to do something? Fisherman's Wharf, maybe? It's Tuesday… And, uh, every Tuesday I'd go there with Crash, but…" She frowns. "Anyway, want to go?" she asks with hope filling her eyes.

"Of course." I smile.

"What are you going to do about her?" She nods her chin towards the door.

"She'll leave eventually. Let's go." I hold out my right hand to her. She takes it.

We walk for about fifteen minutes in silence.

"Where are we headed?"

She shrugs. "There's that café we've been to. We don't have to go there though." She looks up at me.

"No. I like that place." I observe her expression.

"Okay," she says lightly.

I study the rest of her body. She's wearing a tight, low-scoop, ash-colored tank-top and blue jeans with two inch heels. I think they're called wedges or something? I have to admit, heels with a casual outfit is exceedingly sexy. Her hair is curled, which looks extremely gorgeous, too. Her entire outfit does.

"Why did you curl your hair?" I ask. "I really like it."

She blushes. "My mom used to do it all the time when I was little." She smiles distantly. "I was hesitant about actually wearing it like this, but I guess it looks okay." She flicks a golden lock of hers with her finger.

"It looks better than okay, Tris."

When we get to the café, I hold open the door for her and she gives me a small smile as the bell jingles, signaling a customer has entered.

"Ah, my Tris!" a middle-aged Italian woman says.

"Giulia!" Tris puts her arms out and gives her a small hug. "This is my friend, Four," she introduces us.

Unexpectedly, she gives me a hug, and whispers with a thick Italian accent, "If you dare hurt my Tris, I hurt you." She pulls back and winks.

I smile at her and shake my head, meaning I'd never do such a thing.

"Waiter will be with you soon." She—Giulia—goes back into the kitchen.

We take a seat at a high table near the window, the one we sat at last time.

"Hi, my name is Devon and I'll be your waiter today." He writes his name on a napkin, like they do here every time. "What can I start you off with?" He looks at Tris.

"Water please." She smiles.

"Same," I say.

"Okay, those'll be right out for ya." He winks at Tris.

"How come every time we are out with each other we always get hit on by someone?" She rolls her eyes.

"I don't know, but if it continues, I might have to file a complaint with Giulia." I laugh.

"Usually Devon's my waiter when I come here. He's eighteen." She puts a finger in her mouth as if she's gagging.

"Seriously? Does he know how old you are?" I ask incredulously.

"Jeez, you act like I'm forty, Tobias." She rolls her eyes.

"I guess it's different with younger people. Like if it was a forty-year-old woman and a forty-five-year-old man, it'd be different. But if it was a senior in high school and an eighth grader that are five years apart, it'd be weird. You get what I'm saying?" I explain.

She nods.

Devon brings our waters out and takes out order. I get the chicken alfredo while she gets the chicken Caesar salad.

"Please tell me you aren't on a diet or something." I give her a look.

She laughs. "No. Do you know how many calories are in that? I get it because it tastes amazing. If I were on a diet, I wouldn't eat at all." She laughs. "Not that I need to be on a diet anyway, I lose all my weight at the gym." She pats her stomach.

I laugh. This is why I like her. No shame, whatsoever.

"_I can't face the dark without you__, __there's nothing left to lose, the fight never ends__. __I can't face the dark without you."_

Tris's phone is going off. She checks it, rolls her eyes, and throws it back into her bag.

"You know, I think I like that better than your last ringtone." I warmly smile.

"It reminds me of someone." She smiles back at me. "It's by Breaking Benjamin."

"You'll have to make me listen to them sometime," I say.

"Well, I actually happen to have my earbuds with me."

"Hit me." I stretch my hand out. She unravels the buds and hands one to me.

"I have their _Phobia_ and _Dear Agony _albums, which are the best ones by them, in my opinion. There isn't a single song on either of those albums that I don't like."

She has yet to play anything.

"Play your favorite song by them," I suggest.

She doesn't say anything for a few moments. "Okay." She scrolls a little on the screen of her phone and clicks something.

I hear a guitar intro, and then realize it's her ringtone, "Without You."

"Who can't you face the dark without?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing.

She doesn't react to what I said, just continues staring at a speck on the table. Then she looks me in the eye and says solidly, "You." She clears her throat. "And Caleb."

I smile. "You're amazing, you know that?"

She shakes her head and plays another song once the current one is over. Apparently it's a band called Staind, "It's Been Awhile."

_It's been awhile since __I could hold my head up high. And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry. _

"This is a great song." I nod my head.

Just as the song closes, Tris spots Devon bringing our food out, so she wraps up her earbuds and shoves them in her pocket.

"Everything look alright?" Devon asks. We nod. "Okay, wave me over you need anything." He smiles, especially towards Tris, might I point out.

She rolls her eyes behind his back.

We eat in silence until she excuses herself to the restroom.

"So," I hear a voice behind me. Devon sits down across from me in Tris's seat. "You're the infamous man who's stolen Tris's heart. She's been coming here for a long time, but has never brought a guy here. Till you. What makes _you _so special?"

"Well, for one, I'm nice guy. Two, we're old friends. And three, I'm the same age as her, unlike you," I say calmly, not the least bit threatened by him taking my position.

"So? I've known her for a year, I'm nice, and it's not like five years is such a huge gap."

I roll my eyes. "Kid, if it helps you sleep at night, we're just friends. For now."

"So, technically, she's still available," he states more than questions.

I shrug. "I guess, but I'm about a thousand times closer than you are." I give a small chuckle.

He gets up. "You'll see." He then walks off.

Tris comes back just after Devon and I's little exchange, not even aware of what just went on in this very spot.

Devon brings it out on one check, just how I instructed him.

"Devon, we wanted two checks," Tris says.

"No we didn't." I smirk at her.

He takes my card and tells me he'll be back with it.

She crosses her arms and glares. "Tobias."

"What?" I ask innocently.

"You know what you did."

"True, but I don't care." I smugly smile.

She rolls her eyes and says nothing more.

Devon hands me my card. "So, Tris," he says, "would you maybe want to grab a coffee tomorrow, say, around two o'clock?"

"I have orchestra practice," she says flatly, _definitely _uninterested.

"Dinner?"

"Look, I've about had enough with advancements, so lay fuck off, alright?" she says, extremely irritated.

"Okay. Sorry." He presses his lips into a firm, thin line and walks away.

Tris puts her face in her hands. "I'm sorry," she breathes. "I typically try to let them down easily, but he's been trying for months," she says exasperatedly.

"Trust me, I completely get it." I laugh.

I stand up and hold my hand out to her. She takes it.

"Walk on the beach?" she suggests.

"Sure." Now is a good time as any.

"I'd highly recommend taking your shoes off," she says, looking down at my Vans.

Once we near the sand, we take our shoes off. I can barely see my own feet because it's dark out now, but there is still plenty of light considering it's a full moon tonight.

Tris takes out her phone and earbuds and offers one to me without a word. I gladly accept, and she turns it on shuffle. We stroll like this for awhile, just enjoying each other's company. So long, that we end up getting away from the commerce and obnoxious honking of car horns.

As we hold hands, listen to music, and stare into the navy, dark, deep sea, I can't help but think life can't get much better than this, because here I am, with the girl of my dreams, alone.

I stop walking when a certain song comes on. I take her phone and unplug the earbuds so it's playing out loud. I twirl her twice and press her body to mine, along with our foreheads, toes entangled in the soft sand. I slowly lean my lips towards hers, and this time, it's not a brush, and it's not interrupted by a cabbie's horn honking. Our minds immediately forget about our shoes, and they drop to the sand. Her arms rest on my shoulders casually, and mine go to her waist pressing her closer to me. We pull away just long enough for air and start again. I run my hands through her curly, gorgeous hair swiftly. If someone asked me if I'd do this for the rest of my life every single day, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes.

_All my life,__I've been waiting for someone like you to make me smile, you make me feel alive,__and you're giving me everything I've ever wanted in life.__You make me smile,__ a__nd I forget to breathe__. __What's an angel like you__ever do with a devil like me?_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_I'm sorry this is so short :(_

**Tris P.O.V. **

"Shauna!" I exclaim once she answers. It's about eleven o'clock.

We kissed. We headed home. He walked me to my door. We kissed. Now, here I am, calling Shauna since I don't have Chris's number.

"Gather the girls. Now," I demand.

"Why? Why, what's wrong?" she asks worriedly.

"Trust me, you'll want to know about this," I say urgently.

I hear a rustling, presumably Shauna running through the hall.

"Okay," she says, "we're at Chris's right now and Will is at Four's with all the other guys. Nicole isn't here either. Now tell us what happened?" she presses.

"Alright. So Four and I went out to dinner right?" I don't wait for their answer. "Then this guy flirts with me _right in front of Four. _And he's eighteen! Anyway, while our food was being made, Crash called me and I didn't answer it, just let ringtone play out. The song that it was had the lyrics '_I can't face the dark without you__, __there's nothing left to lose, the fight never ends__. __I can't face the dark without you.' _He asked who I couldn't face the dark without, and I said him and my brother Caleb."

I hear "Aw" come from them over the speaker.

"Then I played him some of my favorite songs. We ate, and then the waiter who flirted with me asked me out, also right in front of Four. I declined, of course, but we were both irritated with him at that point. When we left, we took a walk on the beach while listening to my songs again. We walked a fair distance away from the busier part of town, just listening to the lyrics. Anyhow, there was this song called "Smile" by Sixx A.M. The lyrics were '_All my life,__I've been waiting for someone like you to make me smile, you make me feel alive,__and you're giving me everything I've ever wanted in life.__You make me smile,__ a__nd I forget to breathe__. __What's an angel like you__ever do with a devil like me?_"

"Oh my gosh!" Chris squeals in anticipation.

"Then, he took me… and kissed me." I grin.

"Eeeee!" They all shriek.

"And it was real kiss. One that's meaningful, one that has—"

"Wait, wait, wait just a second there," Marlene says. "Four can be meaningful. That means he has feelings. This is illogical!" We all laugh.

"Yeah, I know, but when you know him like I do, you wouldn't be so surprised. He's really a big teddy bear on the inside." I smile.

"Really?" Chris giggles. "I'm going to call him Teddy now."

"He won't even know what you're talking about," I say playfully.

"Yeah, that's why it'll be funny!" she exclaims. We all laugh.

"What happened after?" Marlene asks.

"We kind of just smiled at each other and kept walking like nothing ever even happened. Then, when we were at my apartment, he kissed me at my door too." I smile although they can't see me.

"So," says Shauna, "are you guys like a thing or…?"

I haven't thought about that till now. "I don't know. I guess it hasn't occurred to me yet. We never really established it. Too caught up in the moment, I suppose. So, for now, still friends."

"Can I ask him about it?" Chris asks anxiously.

I hesitate. "I don't know, Chris. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to know whether it was a spur of the moment thing or if he really meant it, but… Hell, just ask him. Take the phone with you so I can hear what he says."

"Eeek!" Chris squeals. "Here, Shauna," she says, and Shauna probably hands her the phone.

"Alright, Tris, I'm putting it in my bra on speaker. Since this is the world's smallest and shittiest phone, it'll fit right in between." We chuckle.

Chris doesn't bother knocking and barges in.

I hear multiple "What the hell?"s throughout the room. I suspect Tobias needed to vent to his guy friends too.

"Four, I need to ask you a few things. May I sit?"

"Go ahead."

I hear a crackle and assume she's sitting.

"Why did you kiss Tris?"

No answer.

"Because she deserves to feel like she matters."

I smile. Tobias does that. He makes me feel like I have a reason worth living for, other than my job. And then there's the gang. The happily accepted me back in their group with open arms, and I couldn't be more grateful for that.

"So you actually care about her?" she presses on.

"Of course he cares about her! What do you want him to do, pour out his feelings in front of you?" Zeke exclaims.

"No. It's just a simple yes or no question."

"Yes. I do. A lot, actually."

This whole time I haven't been able to wipe this grin off of my face.

"Were you just caught up in the moment or did you actually mean it?"

"Hell yes I meant it! I've wanted to do that every day since I met her, Christina, and every day for the rest of my life. She's it for me," he admits exasperatedly.

I blush at this, though no one is watching. We've kissed once, excluding when we were teenagers, but marriage? He's obviously thought about it for awhile. I want kids one day with a good father, and I know Tobias would be great at filling that role.

I can't take this anymore. I hang up.

I text him.

_(11:45) Tris: What are we?_

_(11:46) Four: I don't know. What do you want us to be?_

_(11:48) Tris: I could say the same thing to you._

_(11:49) Four: I think I've made it pretty clear what I want us to be._

_(11:49) Four: Do I need to do it again? ;)_

_(11:50) Tris: It depends on what we are. Friends with benefits or a real relationship?_

_(11:51) Four: Real. Definitely real, because that means I can kiss you whenever the hell I want to and nobody else can have you._

_(11:52) Tris: Are you sure? _

_(11:53) Four: You aren't?_

_(11:54) Tris: I just want you to know what you're getting yourself into. _

_(11:55) Four: I already know what I'm getting myself into. _

_(11:56) Tris: You have to put up with me and my annoying, snarky, little sarcastic remarks._

_(11:57) Four: That's what I like about you._

_(11:58) Tris: And my complaints._

_(11:59) Four: You never complain._

_(12:00) Tris: Fine then. I'm all yours, Tobias._

_(12:01) Four: But are you sure you want me?_

_(12:02) Tris: Is that even a question?_

_(12:03) Four: Yes. A good one, at that._

_(12:04) Tris: Of course I want you, Tobias. You're nice, smart, brave, honest, and deadly gorgeous._

_(12:05) Four: Just like you._

_(12:06) Tris: I don't know about this whole thing. Should we really do this? Aren't you scared of your fans? _

_(12:07) Four: They can fuck off._

_(12:07) Four: Excuse my language. _

_(12:08) Tris: You really think I give two shits?_

_(12:09) Four: Just trying to be a gentleman._

_(12:10) Tris: I know. _

_(12:11) Tris: I'm tired. G'night._

_(12:11) Four: Dream of me ;)_

_(12:12) Tris: That'd be a nightmare._

_(12:13) Four: You love me._

_(12: 14) Tris: I know._

I plug my phone in.

Then the sudden realization hits.

I have a boyfriend.

And I am terrified.

**-Next Day-**

"Tobias, can I tell you something that might sound weird?" I ask as we walk on the sidewalk of little shops holding hands.

"Of course, babe," he says with concern.

"Babe?" I smile as I furrow my eyebrows.

"Figured I'd try it. No?"

I shrug. "Back to the thing… I can't believe I'm about to tell you this," I mumble. "I'm afraid, Tobias."

He looks down at me. "Of what?"

"You," I say apprehensively. "Who wouldn't be afraid of someone who can control how you feel every second of every day?"

"If that's true, then I'm deathly afraid of you." He chuckles.

"Hey." I frown. "Don't laugh at me. I have a right to be scared. I've never been in a real relationship."

By now we've walked all the way to the park, and he leads me to the nearest bench. He pulls me close to him and I lay my head and palm on his chest.

"I know, Tris. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at you."

"It's fine." I shrug. My phone rings.

"Beatrice Prior?" the male voice asks.

"Speaking," I respond.

"It's your mother. I'm very sorry to say this, but she was recently killed due to a fire in her own home from an unknown source."

I don't say anything. I can't. But I finally manage to get out, "What? If this is prank phone call you aren't very funny."

I feel a pain in my chest.

"I am extremely sorry Miss Prior."

"Sorry doesn't fucking make everything perfect, you know?!" I shout with tears in my eyes.

"I know. I have been in your place before and, trust me, I know how it feels. You've already experienced shock, then pain, and now anger, only the third stage of grief. And believe me. You don't want to confront the fourth."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Tris P.O.V.**

As I sit here on the bench sobbing into Tobias's chest, he has yet to ask me anything.

"I'm going to call Uriah, okay? He can pick us up." He reaches into his pocket and calls him.

"Hey, man, can you pick Tris and me up? No, Uriah, we aren't going to take a cab. It's an emergency. We're at the park. We'll meet you just outside the entrance, alright? Thanks." He hangs up. "He'll be here in a few."

I try pulling myself together. My cheeks are a blotchy red.

Uriah pulls up and Tobias and I climb in the back seat.

"Shit, Tris, are you alright?"

Great, now I've got question to deal with. I should have known. I have tears streaming down my eyes. So, tell me, Uriah, does it look like I'm alright? Everything's just peachy, buddy!

"Not particularly, Uri. Thanks for picking us up, though." I sniffle.

"Back to Four's place?"

I look up at him, as if I'm asking permission, which, really, I am. I can't face the dark without him.

"Yeah," he says certainty obtaining his voice.

"Thank you," I whisper. He just pulls me closer to him and kisses the top of my head.

Once we arrive, we thank Uriah and head up to his apartment.

He unlocks his door. I take off my shoes, leaving them at the door. We lay on the couch, both of our heads on the same pillow facing each other, breathing the same air.

"Tris," he says softly, "do you trust me enough to tell me what that phone call was about?" He runs his hand through my hair and cradles my cheek.

"It was my mom. She… she was killed in a fire." Once I say it aloud, the sudden realization is unbearable, which only makes me sob even more. Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like. What'd it be like if all of this ended. But then I remember there are people out there that are in cancer treatment centers begging, pleading, to their god that they stay alive.

"Tris…" He pulls me into him and I bury my face into his neck and cry.

"I shouldn't be crying. I don't _believe_ in crying."

"What kind of person doesn't believe in crying?" he asks softly.

"Me! I'm stronger than this. Tris Prior doesn't cry!" I exclaim. I get up and pace up and down the living room.

"You can't bottle up the storm, Tris. You need to let it all out."

"Dammit, Tobias! You don't understand!" I cry out. He truly doesn't.

"Maybe you're not the only one with a screwed up family. Did you ever think about that?" he asks.

"Yes, actually, but you won't tell me anything," I say softly but firmly.

"And I'm sorry for that. Just… come here."

He opens his arms. I walk into him, burying my face into chest.

"Why doesn't anything go my way?" I mumble.

"I came your way," he points out.

"True. Definitely something good." He really is. He really, truly, and honestly is.

"Do you want me to go to Chicago with you?" Tobias asks after a long silence.

"No." I pull away. "I think I just want to go alone. Well, with Caleb too."

"Okay. I understand completely," he says, although I can sense he is a little hurt.

Then I do something ballsy. "Can I stay the night here?" I ask.

He seems surprised. Hell, I'd be too if I were him.

"Of course."

"Can we sleep on the couch?" I ask, not completely comfortable sleeping in his bedroom just yet.

He just lies down and opens his arms. I lie down next to him and he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Goodnight," he says.

_Not really. _

**-Next Day-**

My eyes slowly flutter open and I realize where I am. I sigh quietly. I turn my head back towards Tobias to see him already staring back at me.

"Do you need to get up now?" he asks.

I turn my body so we are stomach-to-stomach.

"No. My flight leaves at two with Caleb," I whisper, although I don't know why.

"It's already eleven though…" he trails off.

"One minute?" I ask. "For one minute, can't we just pretend everything is okay and we're just love-sick-puppy teenagers holding each other and both of my parents aren't dead and it's just us and… just us. Tobias and Tris. Nothing is happening today, and everything is perfect, and we are just us. One minute."

"I'd like that," he simply says. "Very much so."

I just bury my nose into his neck and he rewraps his arms around my waist as he rests his head on mine, limbs entangled. And for just one minute—_one minute_—I begin to believe that everything is okay, that everything will be just fine, even though I know my life is just the opposite.

Caleb and I have boarded the plane already and we haven't said one word to each other yet.

"Hello, flight 543," one of the attendants says. "Our ETA to Chicago, Illinois, is around 6:30. Please fasten your seatbelts and turn off all electronics. Thank you. We wish you the best and safest of flights." She gives us a big smile. How is someone even that happy?

I look at Caleb.

"What are we going to do?"

He grabs my hand. "We have to hear her whispers when we're in the dark," he says, "because we need to stay strong. For her."

He's right. She wouldn't want to see Caleb or I like this. My mother is the strongest person I've ever met. She's wanted me to grow up to be an independent, strong, selfless woman. But what she didn't realize was that she was raising me to be just like her. She was—is—the woman I want to be so badly.

So I do. I stay strong. I suck up the tears back into my ducts. I squeeze his hand a little bit harder. Maybe that makes me a coward. Maybe that makes me just a little bit braver than I had been yesterday.

As we take the taxi home, I take in my surroundings. Nothing's changed. Not even the good ol' Pit. Maybe Bud will let me come for day since I worked for him for a while.

Caleb and I approach the front doorstep. I carefully twist the door open, uncertain with what my eyes will see.

The same exact thing. Déjà vu. She hasn't changed one thing. I give a small smile. There's one thing that's different though; she's hung pictures of us on the walls. There's one of all of us—me, Caleb, and Mom—at my very first performance at the philharmonic. God, how I'd give anything for that back right this second. But some things that you want, you can't always have, and I've finally learned to accept that fact. I know I'll probably never contradict myself, either, when I say that.

People need unexpected things in their lives. I've never understood how people live with every sound monotone, every color monochrome. I could never live like that. I wouldn't be who am today if I were influenced by those kind of people. I'd feel caged inside. I'd feel… trapped. Like I can't be who I want. I'd believe that that was who I was supposed to be. That was my destiny. Now, now I believe that I can change the course of my life. When I write the story of my life, I don't let anyone else hold the pen. Nor am I going to let the pen run out of ink. I could never. My life would be worthless if I hadn't taken control of myself. If I ended my life—if I let the ink run its course—that'd be giving up. Tris Prior doesn't give up. Tris Prior is an independent, strong, capable woman that is unstoppable, no matter how hard you try. When I have my mind set on something, there's nothing you can do to change that. Nothing. There's no amount of persuading you can do. If I have the correct facts and the right people to trust, you won't change my mind.

And now is the time that I realize how much of my mother I really am. Though I am adopted, she is not 'Natalie' or some random foster parent. She's my mom. Nobody will ever change that. And if they try to convince me, then they can just get out of my life right now. My mother is my role model. Selfless, smart, brave… How much better can it get? She's practically my own flesh and blood.

If someone told me Caleb isn't my real brother, that I'm just a false part of the family, I'd walk away, because I know that it's not true. Never has and never will. I'd never give that person another thought. Caleb isn't the obnoxious, annoying brother you think he'd be. He's… Caleb. Caring, smart, and selfless. He's my brother. Always has and always will be.

As for the other way around, if someone told Mom and Caleb I'm a waste of space and not a real part of the family… let's just say my mom wouldn't be very happy. I don't what good she possibly say for me, but I'd imagine her calling me brave, selfless, smart, honest, kind, and determined. She'd defend just as much as she would Caleb. That's how a family works. There are no 'favorites.' There are no loopholes in family. Either you love each other, or you don't. Sure, families have fights, all of them do, but many get through it. Mine did. We all did. And no, I'm not calling my family the perfect magazine cover family at all, I'm just… proud, despite the choices Andrew made. As far as I'm concerned, I've never had a father. Hell, Bud is more of a father to me than Andrew, the bastard.

But now, all that's left of our family is Caleb and I. All of our grandparents are gone and Mom never had any siblings. Caleb and I only have each other. But sometimes that's all you need. One person you know—you _know_— who loves you. You never have reason to doubt them, forget them, be confused by them, or be hesitant around them, because you just _know_ that they'd take a bullet for you, and the other way around. Because that's what you do with family. And if you don't cherish it, you'll regret it. You'll regret it for the rest of your life, I can absolutely guarantee it. That's why I see Caleb as much as I possibly can. It's hard with him starting his new job though. But if it's an emergency, we're always there for each other. Always. No exceptions. That's just what we do for each other. If a friend hurts us and you can't go to anyone else, we've got each other's backs. That's mandatory with every family. If you don't have that, it, for lack of better word, sucks. It really does. I've been there. Nobody to talk to, nobody's shoulder to cry on. It. Sucks. Many people, just like me, have been there and gotten out of it. They've found someone that's made them happy. For me, it's Caleb, it has been all along, and Tobias. I've never been one to depend on men to be happy, but I guess now I am. I just can't face the dark without them. The only things I need in life are them and my bass. They are the reason I choose to get up and out of my bed every morning. Them. To see them. So they know I'm okay, that I'm alive, breathing. But I know that if I had lost everything in my life—_everything_—that they'd be there to pick me back up, because what love does to someone. And I know the same goes for them. I know that if they were to fall apart, I'd be there for them. If they'd lost everything, I'd be the one there picking the pieces of them back up. Nobody else. Just me. And they wouldn't want anybody else with them by their side, either. Family doesn't let each other down like that. That is not the definition of family. Having a family is a gift, and if you waste it foolishly, it's on you, and no one else. Nobody can define your definition of family but you. Sometimes, you can only rely on yourself. You feel your family is inconsiderate, and are lying sons of bitches, but the truth is, no matter how much they tease you, or mess with you, they love you. Trust me, I've experienced it first-hand. Caleb teases me about dating, as if we were twelve. But I think I've made it extremely clear on what my opinion is on family. Family is your own definition, and you have the possibility of filling that role for someone, you just can't give up. You can't end everything because of one mistake. The worst mistake you can make in life is walking away from the one person who actually stood there waiting for you. You can't let you mistake define you. No matter what someone tells you, you can't let the pen run out of ink, and you can't let anyone else hold it.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

_To the guest that reviewed saying that the past chapter's 'deepness' about family wasn't true, for some people it is. Like I said in the previous chapter, it sucks not having anybody. It really does. So don't say it's not true, we all have different opinions and situations in life, that was just my viewpoint on it, so I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, shape, or form._

_**Please Read:**_

_I know last chapter didn't really seem like my writing all that much, but I completely assure you that it was me. I was watching an interview with Veronica Roth about her writing and I realized that I have potential to be like her. I have a __**verrrrryyyyy**__ long way to that though. Definitely a work in progress, I am. Anyway, I had been stuck all night on what to write about. Then I just… typed. I typed 1,600 words within 40 minutes and all just poured out, like floodgates after a monsoon. Point is: it was like something snapped in me. Something clicked and I knew right then and there that I want to do this for the rest of my life. Although I am an extremely goofy person around my friends and sometimes you guys, I can be the deepest person you know. The only person that knows that I can be like that is my best-friend. ANYWAY, basically you guys' reviews get me up and out of bed every single day, so thank you._

_**ALSO: IF YOU DIDN'T READ THAT^, **__READ THIS__**: So today is October 23**__**rd**__**, right? Yes. Yesterday was the anniversary of Tris's death, when Allegiant came out. Depressing thought of the day.**_

**Tris P.O.V.**

Caleb and I are currently walking back from the attorney's office for the will. It specifically stated Caleb and I could do whatever we wanted with everything in the house in our mother's possesion. Although there are only a few things I really want to keep, we've decided to sell everything and give it to bullying prevention charity. All of the money in the bank, we've decided, is going to Caleb because he needs it more than I do. I get a very decent paycheck and so does Caleb, being a doctor, but he has more school loans to pay off rather than me. Of course mine were extremely expensive, but he went to med school, which is basically a bazillion dollars. We've also decided that I get a few thousand dollars from selling items in the house and the house itself. We also decided not to have a funeral. Not many people would come, she didn't have many friends, so we decided to have her cremated and spread her ashes out into the sea in San Fran. Her ashes will be mailed to Caleb's. When she'd visited us she said this was her favorite place she'd ever been and hoped to move out here some day. I guess that will never happen though.

"Caleb?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah, baby sis?"

"Can we just hang out at the house tonight? Y'know, maybe go on a _Friends _marathon all night?"

"I'd like that. A lot actually. Maybe veg out on some cartons of ice-cream in front of the TV?"

I give a very small smile, the biggest one I've created in days. I nod.

"So your conductor or whatever wasn't upset you had to miss practice for two days?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No. He's very understanding. Just as long as I'm back on time for the performance, which is Friday, so I have two days since it is Wednesday today. Tomorrow I might go back to the warehouse. Where are all of my painting are and stuff. Then go to the gym. Our plane leaves at 1:30, right?"

"Yep."

We walk into the drug mart and head to the freezer section, but not before grabbing a basket for toppings.

I remember when I was little, I'd refuse come here—or any drug mart for that matter—because I thought actual drugs were sold here. The illegal kinds of drugs. And when I first read the word marijuana, I thought it was pronounced "mara-jew-wana."

We pick out coffee, chocolate, and vanilla ice cream flavors. We head to the candy aisle and pick out Oreos, Kit-Kats, chocolate syrup, Reese Cups, gummy worms, and M&Ms. Plus we can't forget to add the whipped cream, too.

We pay for all of the stuff and carry everything home. We set all of the bags on the counter, relieving our wrists of the heavy weight. We immediately take our own cartons. Him the vanilla, me the chocolate, and the coffee goes in the freezer for later to share between the two of us. We walk into the living room and spread all of the toppings out along with our own spoons. I put the _Friends: Season 1 _CD into the DVD player and we settle on the couch with our cartons. We each grab pillows and set them on our lap so we don't get cold.

We sit there for a few hours until all of our ice cream is gone and it's three A.M. Sometime after I fell asleep, I see Caleb get up and turn the TV off and head upstairs. I follow suit, taking my blanket and my phone. I see on my phone that Tobias texted me at about 10:30 or so, which is 8:30 for them. I kind of feel bad for not texting him back, but I hadn't known about it.

_(10:32 P.M.) Four: Everything going alright?_

_(3:12 A.M.) Tris: Sorry I'm replying so late, I just checked my phone. Sorry if I wake you up. Everything went fine._

_(3:14 A.M.) Four: It's all good. I've been awake all night anyway. Can't sleep._

_(3:15 A.M.) Tris: How come?_

_(3:16 A.M.) Four: After sleeping with you by my side, I don't want to go back to doing it alone._

_(3:17 A.M.) Tris: Aw thanks, Teddy._

_(3:18 A.M.) Four: Is there something I'm missing? Cause Chris keeps calling me that too._

_(3:20 A.M.) Tris: I may or may not have referred to you as a big teddy bear._

_(3:21 A.M.) Four: Wow, thanks babe._

_(3:21 A.M.) Four: Pretend I never sent that last message._

_(3:22 A.M.) Tris: Aw. How come, BABE?_

_(3:23 A.M.) Four: You know why._

_(3:24 A.M.) Tris: G'night, Teddy._

_(3:24 A.M.) Tris: I mean babe ;)_

_(3:25 A.M.) Four: Ha. Ha. Goodnight._

I finally put my phone on the charger and set the alarm for nine A.M.

I can't help but let a smile play on my face as I think about the fact of that he can't sleep without me, even after only one night of it. The thing I'm ashamed, yet proud to admit is that I could say the same exact thing to him. Despite the fact that we weren't even in bed, I got the best sleep of my life. But hell, I'd voice it loud and clear on a rooftop if I had to.

**-That morning-**

As I get dressed to go to the gym, I realize Caleb is still asleep. I finish getting dressed in tight running pants and a tank top, along with sneakers, and write a note to Caleb saying I'll be home around noon and that I have my phone with me for an emergency. As I run down the carpeted stairs softly, I pull my hair into ponytail over the shoulder.

I start running to the gym with my earbuds in, turning it on shuffle. Just as I am about five minutes away from my destination, the song "Smile" comes on. The one that Tobias kissed me to. The one that reminds me of him every single time I hear it. I can't help but smile as it plays, ironically enough. Just then I receive a message from Tobias. This is too… Ironic isn't the word, and neither is coincidental… fluky. Fluky is the word.

_(9:37 A.M.) Four: Good morning, beautiful._

_(9:38 A.M.) Tris: Guess what song just came on right when you texted me?_

_(9:39 A.M.) Four: Smile?_

_(9:40 A.M.) Tris: Nope. Let It Die by Three Days Grace._

_(9:41 A.M.) Four: Oh._

_(9:42 A.M.) Tris: Nah, I'm joking. It was Smile :)_

_(9:43 A.M.) Four: You've never been one to take signs._

_(9:44 A.M.) Tris: Fluky. Fluky is the word._

_(9:45 A.M.) Four: What ever you say._

_(9:46 A.M.) Tris: Teddy._

_(9:46 A.M.) Four: Babe._

_(9:47 A.M.) Tris: Four._

_(9:47 A.M.) Four: Beatrice._

_(9:48 A.M.) Tris: This isn't over. I'll talk to you once I get home._

_(9:49 A.M.) Four: Okay._

A big Teddy. That's what exactly he is. If he was talking to anybody else but me, he would have beaten them to a pulp.

I push open the front doors of The Pit and see many kids from my high school, all guys though, but it's not surprising. I walk up to the front desk to approach Bud.

"Excuse me, sir," I say with the smallest of smiles.

He looks up from his computer. "Never thought I'd see that face again." He stands up. "How are you, Tris? I heard about your mom," he says sadly.

"Yeah. That's why I'm in town, actually."

"I've—everyone, actually—heard about you playing in the Philharmonic at such a young age. The whole little village of us is buzzing about it."

"I find that hard to believe."

"It's true. Anyway, you here to work out for a little while?" he asks.

"Yeah. I was going to ask if you'd maybe give me a free pass for today?" I ask, hopeful.

"Of course. Any time, Tris."

As I walk upstairs, I get multiple glances from the guys I used to go to school with. Back then, they wouldn't have taken a second glance at me, but now they do. Inconsiderate, shallow, no-good, son of a mother—something interrupts my thoughts. Not so much of a "something" but a "someone."

"Excuse me, but are you Tris Prior?" the guy my age asks. He looks extremely familiar, but I can't place the name.

I keep walking, but he continues with me.

"The one and only."

"Wow. You're incredible. I'm Vinnie. Short for Vincent. Huge fan. You—"

"Why?" I interrupt without looking at him. I remain staring forward as I climb the stairs. "Why do you take sudden interest in me now, huh? You wouldn't have taken two glances at me back in high school when I was quiet. But now, you and every other guy I used to know that are currently in this gym are checking me out. So Vinnie, you can just keep on walkin', because I have a boyfriend."

He doesn't hesitate to reply. "Doesn't surprise me. Who is it? Four?"

I flinch and look at him for the first time. He is quite attractive, but not as good looking as Tobias.

"How do you know that?"

"You guys are the power-couple of Vine. Everyone knows that. And judging by his profile that says 'in a relationship' and your reaction, I'd bet my life that you two are going out."

I arrive at the punching bags. "You're right, Vinnie. But the question is: You are still here because…?"

"Touché. I'll see you around."

I mumble, "No you won't."

Although I don't have tape for my knuckles, I begin punching anyway as I listen to my playlist since I never turned it off while I was talking to Vinnie.

After only five minutes of punching, I feel a tap on the shoulder.

"Vinnie—" I spin on my heel, only to come face-to-face with one of my former best-friends.

"Lynn!" I yell and hug her. Although she's never really been one to hug, she does it back with great force.

"I've missed you so much," she says as we pull back. "How are you?"

"I heard our whole little part of town was buzzing about me, so you probably know." I smirk.

She nods. "But only the basic stuff, like how you're in the Philharmonic in San Fran. How are you _really_?"

"Meh," I say solemnly, but smile. "I have a boyfriend that you'll probably get really mad about," I say, knowing she can be extremely overprotective.

"Who? Do I know him?" she asks cautiously.

"Well… We were visiting L.A. for a few days and I saw him walking toward me on the sidewalk. You won't believe who it was," I lie.

"Who?" she asks anxiously.

"Logan Lerman."

"What?!" she screams. "How?! That boy is gorgeous! If he wanted me, I'd turn straight for him!"

I laugh. "No, Lynn, I'm joking." I turn serious. Then nervous. "Four. I'm dating Four."

"Seriously, Tris, stop lying. Now tell me who it is."

"I'm not lying, Lynn." I smile at the thought of him.

"How? Did he move to San Francisco and you two happen to run into each other?"

I nod. "Basically."

"Yet you gave him another chance after how he treated you back then?" she asks in awe.

"Yes. I did. I promise you, he's different than he was five years ago."

She shakes her head. "Tris…," she says warningly, "I don't what I'm going to do with you."

"Anyway," I say, hoping to divert the subject, "how are _you_?"

She shrugs. "I'm trying to find a job, but it's hard to get one in this hell-hole."

"What'd you go to college for?"

"To be a policewoman."

"No shit?" I ask.

"Yeah, why?"

"Four is a policeman. And I bet, if you asked him really, super-duper nicely, he'd be able to recommend you. Y'know, in San Francisco," I say with a lot of hope in my voice.

"Are you implying I move to San Francisco?" she asks with a knowing smile.

"Yes," I bluntly say.

"I don't know, Tris… San Francisco?"

"Yes! We could hang out and be best-friends again!"

She doesn't say anything and looks away. "I'll think about it. But until then, give me you number," she says.

I gladly read off my digits to her and she says she'll definitely call me sometime next week when she has made her decision. I think she's highly considering it.

I go back to punching vigorously for about an hour when it's 10:30. That's a little more than an hour that I have to go to the warehouse.

I start running there. You'd think I'd forget the route, but after doing it for five months every day, it sticks in the back of your mind. I arrive there after 15 minutes of jogging.

I carefully walk inside the warehouse, not knowing what to expect. The door slams, then I hear an unexpected rustling upstairs, which causes me to jump. I quickly and not-so-quietly head upstairs to the third floor.

I see wet paintbrushes and new, wet paint. "Hello?" I yell. No response except for my echo against the walls. "If there's someone here, I won't hurt you unless you try to attack me."

A girl that looks about sixteen or seventeen comes around the corner. She has long blonde hair about the shade of mine and dark brown eyes. She's quite pretty.

"How did you find this place?" she asks.

I smile. "How did _you _find this place?"

"I asked you first," she retorts.

"I did all of the paintings on the first two floors." I smirk. "Now—"

She runs towards me. "Oh my god. Tris Prior. I love you, your artwork, and your music! Oh my god I can't believe you're standing in front of me right now."

"How do you know my name is Tris Prior?" I take a step back.

"You signed your name at the bottom of all your paintings. I kind of looked you up on the internet and it said you were in the San Francisco Philharmonic. Then I started listening to your solos and fell in love. Anyway, I hope you're not mad that I started doing the third floor. I found this place about a year ago when I was sixteen. I come here all the time now. Mainly I spent the first six months admiring your paintings. I'd never attempted painting, but when I saw your work I just had to try it. Now it's addicting. My favorite one of yours is the one that says 'It's Never Too Late.'"

She starts walking to the second floor, probably to come see her favorite painting by me.

"Sometimes I just sit in front of this for hours and think." She leans against the wall opposite if the painting.

I smile. "I've never actually met a fan. What's your name?"

"Jo. Jo Ashton."

There are a few minutes of silence.

"I had my first kiss right in this spot," I say, smiling back at the memory.

She looks over at me and smiles, although I'm still looking at the painting, reminiscing.

"Well, Jo," I say, snapping out of my daze, "why don't you show me some of your stuff?"

"Really?"

I nod.

We get up and head upstairs.

Over the next forty-five minutes, she shows me four paintings and explains them.

"Listen," I say as she is about to move on to the next one. I check my phone. "It's already 11:50 and I have to be back at my house at noon. I'd really love to see the rest of them, but I have to go. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry. You should have stopped me earlier. I tend to ramble," she reasons.

"No, really, I enjoyed this. It was really nice meeting you, Jo." I give her a warm smile.

"Wait!" she says. She pulls something out of her pocket and something from her supplies. A permanent marker and her white Smartphone with a clear case.

"Will you sign this?"

I smile and take them from her hands.

I hand them back to her.

"Thank you so much." She grins.

"I'm glad there's someone taking care of this place. Thank _you_, Jo." Then, before she can from a coherent thought, I walk downstairs and out the door.

**;-;**

Tobias and I settle on the couch after he picks me up from the airport. It's about four o'clock. In Chicago it'd be about six because of daylight savings time, but we had to go back two hours.

"Tris," he softly says in my ear. As of now, my head lies on his chest and my knees are pulled up to my stomach, like a fetus, as he sits up on the couch. His arm is wrapped around my shoulders and mine is wrapped against his waist.

"Yeah?" I whisper back, not bothering to open my eyes.

"Did everything go alright? You don't have to afraid to tell me things." He pulls me closer at this.

"I'm not, Tobias, I promise. I ran into Lynn. She's thinking about moving out here."

"Really?"

I nod. "Yeah. I'm pretty excited. I know you don't like her very much, but she's the only real friend I've had up until now."

"If you like her, I like her." He rubs my arm slowly.

There are a few minutes of silence.

"You know that art studio of mine back in Chicago?" I ask.

"How could I forget where the best and worst thing happened to me?" he asks. He's referring to our first kiss, which was pretty great, and my rejection towards him.

"Yeah, yeah. Well when I went there, I found a seventeen-year-old girl there taking over on the third floor. She said she was a really big fan of my music and art. I signed her phone." I chuckle.

"That's amazing." He kisses the top of my head. "But I'll always be your #1 fan."

I look up at him. He winks and I roll my eyes, laying my head back on his chest.

I begin to drift off after about fifteen minutes of silence.

"Tris," he whispers, "are you asleep?"

"Yes," I whisper back.

He chuckles.

"Okay." He gets up.

I groan. "Teddy, come back, you're my pillow," I whine.

He chuckles. He scoops me into his arms and carries me into his bedroom. I'm not the least bit nervous after I slept with him on the couch. It just felt like everything was in place… It was natural.

He carefully sets me down and puts me under the covers.

"I'll take the couch," he whispers and kisses my head.

"No," I whine and pat the space next to me in his queen size bed.

"You sure?" he asks hesitantly.

"Jeesh, Tobias, it's not like we're having sex." I can't control the words that come out of my mouth and I'm too tired to blush, so I don't really care.

"You know it's only five o'clock, right?" He walks towards me and climbs in bed. "I could have plans."

"I highly doubt that." My eyes groggily open and look at him.

He wraps his arms around me. "And why's that?"

"Because you wouldn't make plans the day I come back." I yawn.

"You are correct. I have no life."

"Pft. Let's get real, Tobias._ I'm_ your life," I joke.

There is a silence for a while.

I begin to drift off, but I hear Tobias whisper, "That you are."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

**Tris P.O.V.**

I wake up in Tobias's arms, just the way I was last night. I look at the clock on his wall that reads 6 A.M. I need to get up since we have a performance tonight. We practice from 8 in the morning until the performance time. It's brutal.

I slowly turn in Tobias's arms so I'm still encased in him, but I'm facing him now. He looks so… normal. Usually his features make him look older since he's always so tense. He just looks like his natural 23-year-old self. I put my palm on his cheek, trying to wake him up. He doesn't respond, so I lightly kiss him.

"I don't think I'm awake yet," he whispers with his eyes shut.

I roll my eyes and try to roll out of bed but he pulls me back with his arms, closer than I'd been before, all the way pressed up against him with our legs entangled. He kisses me slowly, but tries to deepen it.

"No making out until I've brushed my teeth." I laugh. I try to get out of his grasp, but won't let go.

He smartly smiles at me, but I glare. I begin to feverishly kiss him and his grip loosens. I swiftly roll out of bed and on my feet.

"I have a performance today and I have to be there at eight. So I need to go home and get ready. Sorry, _babe_. Do you have a comb or something I can use so it doesn't look like I just had a one-night-stand?" I chuckle.

He gets up and comes into the bathroom with me. He opens the second drawer on the right and hands me the comb.

"Thanks."

I slowly brush down my hair as he digs through the third drawer on the left. He pulls two things out; a tube of toothpaste and a brand new toothbrush. He sets them on the counter.

He smiles. "All set."

I discreetly roll my eyes but pick the two items up anyway. He stares at me the whole time, and I start to get uncomfortable.

"Cun I huhlp you?" I ask with a mouthful of toothpaste.

He shakes his head and smiles. "No. Just…thinking."

I finish brushing and sit across from him on the counter in the bathroom.

"About?" I ask with one eyebrow.

He shrugs. "Cranberries."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever. Are you going to come tonight? To my performance?"

He sighs. "I don't know if I can, Tris. I'm trying save up some money—"

"There are two seats for each player, but you don't have to come if you have plans, though. I mean I'll have performances for the rest of my life, so I don't really care that much. I mean, plus you'd have to rent a suit, and that'd be expensive, so, just never mind," I ramble and begin to walk out the bathroom, but he grabs my arm.

"No, Tris, I'd love to come."

"If you don't want to—"

"Tris, I want to come, okay?"

"Okay." I give a small smile. "Y'know you probably could wear your uniform. Except without the gun." I chuckle.

He nods. "Okay. You want to show-off your policeman boyfriend, don't you? I knew it." He smirks.

I roll my eyes. "Definitely. I'll make all the 60-year-old violinists and violists super jealous. Especially Shirley and Janet, they're cougars." I laugh.

He laughs and lightly kisses me. "Minty," he says when he pulls back.

"When you get there tonight go around to the back entrance. There'll be two big, burly guys standing there, Tom and Hal. They look like secret service agents." I chuckle. "Tell them you're Four and here to see Tris, alright?"

"What time?" he asks.

"Well, the actual performance starts 7:30, so maybe a little after?"

He nods. "Sounds good."

"Oh, and there'll be a seat that says 'Reserved for Four,' so you don't have to worry about where to sit."

"Gotcha." He pecks my lips.

I smile. "I need to go," I say, but don't move.

He hops off the counter and grabs my waist. We leans our foreheads on each other, breathing the same air. I tip my forehead the slightest bit, and my lips are immediately buzzed with satisfaction. His hands tighten around my waist and my palms lie on his chest. He presses a little harder, pushing me up against counter. He hand rests against the counter and my hands move up. One lies on his cheek while the other remains on his chest. He pulls back a little, both of us breathing heavily heaving. I bit lip and up at him to search for any sign of disappointment.

"You can't do that. You're not allowed," he says, not leaving my eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"Bite your lip." He playfully glares.

I roll my eyes and walk out of the bathroom.

"Have a good day at work, honey!" he shouts sarcastically.

"You too, hubby!" I shout in the same tone he used. Then once I'm out the door, I blush, realizing what I just said. "Hubby" as in husband, referring to us being married. Together. Forever. Oh god, why would I say that? He probably doesn't even ever want to get married. Being stuck to one woman would probably suck being a guy like him, let alone me of all people.

I don't bother hailing a cab since it's a small walk to my apartment, only being a few roads up.

I definitely need to clear my head. It's performance day, for god's sake. Yet I can't stop thinking about Tobias. He said he couldn't sleep unless I was there by his side. He's going to have chronic insomnia then, because I'm not ready to move in with him. Maybe three months, but even that's pretty soon. Most wait six months, right? Something around there. Plus, I guess I could stay the night there some days when we hang out until it's dark. So once, maybe twice, a week?

I finally arrive at my front door and unlock it. I collapse on my bed, even though I'm not tired. Just in distress.

I finally get up ten minutes later and put on my white blouse and black dress pants with black three inch heels. I wouldn't wear them if they weren't a part of the uniform. I curl my hair and put it in a ponytail trailing down my back. I leave some of my side bangs down. I put on red lipstick and minimal makeup on my eyes.

Once I decide I look socially acceptable, I head out the door, locking it behind me. I hail a cab and arrive there at seven, and hour earlier than I'm supposed to be. Tom and Hal are already here.

"Tom." I nod. "Hal." They open the door.

"Ms. Prior," they say in unison.

I am about to walk in, but I remember something.

"Oh, Tom and Hal, if a guy named Four comes around for the performance, let him in, alright?"

"Yes, Ms. Prior," they say, once again in unison.

"You guys know you don't have to act tough around me, right?"

They relax their shoulders and smile. They take off their sunglasses, so now I can finally see what they look. Both around twenty-five and very attractive, but definitely not as attractive as Tobias. Nowadays I compare everybody to him.

"That's reassuring," Tom says.

"How do you know we don't always act like that?" Hal asks suspiciously with a smirk.

"My boyfriend does the same thing. Acts like he's the toughest guy ever, but is actually a big teddy bear." I punch both of their arms.

"Is this Four guy your boyfriend?" Tom asks.

I nod. "You all should get along well, he's a cop." I chuckle.

"Tris, cops and security guards are arch enemies. That's like… oil and water. They just do not go to together," Hal explains.

"But you both enforce the law." I chuckle. "Why can't everybody just along in the world? It'd make life so much easier, wouldn't it?" I shake my head and walk in.

I immediately switch on the lights and go toward the room that keeps all of our instruments. I get out my bass and my music folder and walk onto the stage. The lights are always on. I go to one of my pieces that'd be a walk in the park for any one of us in here.

It's an actual modern rock song called "World So Cold."

As I approach the chorus, I begin to sing, since nobody's here. I close my eyes.

"_Livin' in a world so cold__,__ wasting away__. __Livin' in a shell with no soul__ s__ince you've gone away__. __Livin' in a world so cold__, __counting the days__, __since you've gone away__. __You've gone away from me._"

"You have a really good voice," a voice says, startling me, which causes my bow to screech.

"Thanks. You know I don't sing much though. I thought I was alone." I blush.

"You should do it more often."

"Yeah, because I'll definitely go around the streets singing like a lunatic, Crash," I joke with him for the first time in forever.

He smiles and sits next to me. "Does this mean we're friends again? Or at least nice acquaintances?"

I think. Then shrug. "Why not?"

"You still hang out with number boy?"

"Four?" I ask. Why would he even bring that up?

He rolls his eyes. "No, Five. Of course Four."

"Well, yeah." I blush.

"I'm going to be mad. I don't swing your way anymore," he admits.

My eyebrows go up in surprise. Then serious. "I called it!" I shout.

He laughs.

I give him a side hug with one arm.

"Don't tell anybody though, alright? The reason why I was so upset with you over the past few weeks was because I was angry because I didn't feel accepted, but I realized that I'm fine the way I am." He shrugs and proudly smiles.

"I won't. So, you and number boy? What's been going on?"

"You can't have him!" I slap his chest.

He laughs. "I know. But last time I checked you two were just friends."

"We're kind of the 'power couple' of Vine." I laugh. "That's what someone told me."

"I actually already knew that considering both your and his profiles change from 'it's complicated' to 'in a relationship,'" he says with finger quotes.

I roll my eyes. "I need to tell you something," I say solemnly.

"Hm?" he tips his head to the side a little.

"My mom died on July 4th. Puts kind of a damper on the day."

"Tris, I'm so sorry," he says. "I know how close you two were." He puts his hand on my shoulder.

I shrug it off and get out another piece of music. "Toxicity. It's extremely fast."

I begin playing it, and I must say, it goes pretty well. By now, people have filtered into the room and are staring at me while I go on. When I play, I'm in another world. I get stuck there, and I feel like I'm just… myself. The only person that does that is Tobias. I never would have been able to accomplish this if it weren't for my self-motivation. Most would thank their parents because they pushed them so hard, but my mom just kind of rolled with whatever I wanted to do. My favorite quote probably has to be "Work hard, dream big," which is exactly what I did to get where I am today.

Since the song goes extremely fast the whole time, it has an abrupt and short ending.

"Not too bad, A.J.," Tori says.

"A.J.?" I ask.

"Stands for adrenaline junkie." She smirks. "Kind of just came up with it right there because the fast song you were playing. I wish we could play things like that in a performance." She frowns.

"Same. Although I love _Pathetique_, I really like modern rock music like—"

Tori interrupts me with, "Apocalyptica. You've listened to them, right?"

"Yeah, that's what I was actually going to say." I smile.

"Listen up!" our conductor yells with a big smile.

All of our heads turn toward him.

"Now that everybody is here, I have a big announcement to make!" he says, ecstatic. I've never seen him like this before, so fired up and full of energy.

"We will be performing Metallica's entire _S&M_ album with them!"

_**(A/N: this actually happened in real life because Metallica recorded their whole S&M album with the San Francisco Symphony back in 1999 :) Look it up and listen to their songs, they are quite flabbergasting)**_

"Oh my god!" I shout in the silence. Everyone's head turns toward me, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. "Will we get to meet them?"

He nods.

Everybody starts buzzing, and I turn to Crash and Tori.

"This is the best day of my life!" I hug them both at the same time. I literally am jumping up and down. I get to meet my inspiration and role models in… He never said when.

"When?" I shout after everybody calms down.

"One week and two days, so next Monday. I've actually known for many months, but wanted to surprise you all. The reason I'm telling you on such short notice is because their songs are fairly easy to learn. We will actually be performing with them that entire week," he informs us.

Despite most of the old, extremely religious ladies' responses, most of us seem to like it. You know, the old ones who hate the following: Halloween, even though it's supposed to ward off evil spirits, horror movies, rock music, skulls, homosexuality, you get the point. One of them told me they'd pray for me a few weeks ago. I was offended for a second when she'd said it, but quickly brushed it off. I am who I am. **(A/N I'm in favor of all of those things I was listing, so don't go all crazy on me. If you're religious, I mean no disrespect, with all honesty. Just using older people as examples. I basically just described my two grandmas' opinions haha)**

I have the biggest smile on my face right now. My life may not be all that great, but this is the thing that will lift my spirits. I mean, c'mon, getting to meet my favorite band of all time? It's a dream come true.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

_I got 4 reviews last chapter, so that was pretty depressing. I'm certainly not one of those authors that say, "I want at least 20 reviews before I update." If you do that, no offense, but I think you should be writing because you need, want, and have to write—not because you need an ego boost. I'm updating because I like to write for myself, not others' opinions._

**(As requested:)**

**Tobias P.O.V. **

As I watch Tris's performance on this nice Friday evening, I can't help but stare at her in awe as she loses herself. She says there's an art to it, but I've never been able to quite understand just how she does it. Her bow moves along the strings so perfectly, every note strung out at just the right length—not too short, not too long. Most would say it'd be hard to hear one individual out of the large group, but not me. If you concentrate on the low pitch, you can find the perfection in it. You can partially see her losing herself in the music. Her hands move robotically, up and down the instrument two times her size, making her look even more petite than she already is.

With her small frame against the bass, and long, wavy blonde hair, you can't _not _look at her. And she's young. About one-fourth of the audience is young men, if I had to guess, and I bet you every one of them is staring at her. I don't feel jealousy, I feel pride. That girl, that beautiful girl up on the stage, is mine. The extraordinary, talented, amazing, beautiful girl is mine. And I am hers. Even though we've only been together for a week and a half, she's still the person that I depend on the most. She's the one that gets me. It feels like we've known each other for decades, when in reality, it's been five. Would the gap years even count? In high school we knew each other for around five months, and it's been one month since we found each other here in San Francisco. So, really, six months we've known each other. Yet everyday in between those gaps, I thought of her. What she's doing, how she's doing, if she had a boyfriend, the list goes on. I honestly don't know where or who I'd be if I hadn't met her. She doesn't know it, but she changed me. Definitely sounds cliché, I know, I know. But she did. She didn't give something to look at all I want, or someone to just hang out with when I'm bored. She didn't give me either of those things. She gave me hope. Hope for happiness. Hope for my life. Hope for me, in general. Hope for love. I've lost hope for that, actually. I can't hope for it any longer because I've already found it. I found it in Tris.

The performance ends and the curtains close, blocking them off from the audience. I stand up, clapping along with the whistles and hoots and hollers. Once it dies down, I find myself walking toward the back entrance where I had come in just hours ago, away from Tom and Hal.

She comes out a few minutes later and jumps into my arms, kissing me.

"I have to tell you something when we get ho—to your place. Or mine. Doesn't matter." She blushes and bites her lip, looking down at the ground. She was about to say, "When we get home."

That'd be nice. Definitely at good thing to hear. One day I hope she does move in with me though; I love the feeling of her next to me. It makes me feel at home, like I'm finally where I belong. Like I'm doing something right, for once in my life. Who says she's even staying the night tonight anyway? She could just want to talk about something. Hell, she could be breaking up with me for all I know.

Yet when she made that comment, it's not something someone would typically say right before they break it off with someone. It'd even seem as if she's hinting about moving in. But I know she probably wouldn't want that just yet, if even at all. Maybe in four or five months? I know couples usually move in around six months.

"Okay. Hopefully something good?"

She nods. "Well, there's one thing you might be not very happy about, but the other thing, you'll be ecstatic." She smiles. Whatever she has to tell me can't be that bad, right?

I tell the cabbie to go to my place instead of Tris's.

When we arrive at my complex, we hear loud laughing coming from Chris's apartment.

Tris knocks.

Chris opens the door. "Tris, babe, come in!" She's obviously drunk, it _is_ a Friday night.

Tris just laughs and sees everyone else here. And Nicole. Nicole and I have yet to confront since Tris and I have been together. I've avoided her at all costs.

"You wanna join us?" Chris slurs.

She shrugs. "Why the hell not?"

I'd rather not stay, but since Tris is here I'm obviously going to.

"Great! Four and Tris, go get yourself a drink!" Will shouts.

Tris and I head into the kitchen and dive in the fridge. I take a beer and she picks out a canned margarita.

"So," I say as she hops on the counter. "What did you have to tell me?" I put myself standing right between her legs. We're almost the same height. I press my palms to the counter, setting my beer down. Her forearms rest on my shoulder lazily, still holding her drink.

"Don't get mad. I'm friends with Crash again. Or at least good acquaintances."

I give her a confused look. "Why?" Why the hell would she give that douche lord another chance?

She doesn't say anything for a few moments. "He's gay." She purses her lips together.

My eyebrows rise. Definitely wasn't expecting that. "Okay."

"Okay? You don't care?" she asks. She was probably expecting me to freak out over that, but it's really no big deal. I mean, yeah, I'll get pissed if he hurts her again, but as long as she doesn't let him pull a move, I'm fine. Which he probably won't if he's telling the truth. If he's not, shit's 'bout to go down.

I shrug. "I know you're all mine so I have nothing to worry about." I smile.

She mirrors my face. She leans in a leans a little and I close the empty space between us. Her soft, plump lips land on mine; fulfilling any desire or want I have for her. Her hands weave their way into my hair. She pulls back and rests her hands on my neck. We're breathing the same air, and it takes all of me not to pull into another kiss.

"I get to meet and perform with Metallica," she says in a whisper.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask with my eyebrows raised.

"You heard me." She smirks. "And, of course, you get to come to the performance. I haven't decided who else from the group will come. Uriah or Zeke?"

"Zeke, he's cooler than Uriah." I smirk. "That, and Zeke's my best-friend."

"I was thinking Uriah, though. He's my best friend next to Chris and she doesn't like them." One side of her lips turns down. "I have the perfect idea! Both of them can come, and you won't," she says with a cheeky smile.

"Ha, I think not." I smirk. "I'm your boyfriend, and I'm the most important person ever," I joke with a smug smile on my face.

"I know, I'm joking. You know I love you." As soon as she realizes what she said, her cheeks go red. "I mean… like… I'm not _in _love you with you. I mean… yet. Like how we told each other that in the cab to the football game… Cause it's different, you know?" She scratches her neck as she stutters. "Cause I love Uriah and Chris, you know, but I'm not… you know…," she trails off.

"I know, Tris." I smirk at her. But on the inside, I am disappointed. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up though. "Let's get back out there. Our friends are cool drunks." I smile.

She gives me one last small kiss and hops off of the counter without a word and heads back in the living room. She swings open the door and disappears.

I laugh and shake my head. The things this girl does to mess with my brain, and she doesn't even know it. I walk out with a smile on my face.

"Four!" a drunken Zeke shouts. "A word?"

I shrug. "Sure."

He comes up to me and whispers, "Did you bring Tris back here to get laid, or what?"

My eyes widen. "What? No. We had to talk about something." My cheeks turn a light red.

"Ah!" Zeke yells. "Four is blushing!" Everybody is looking at me and laughs.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes. "And no, I don't want to get laid. I just… like having her by my side, you know?"

He stares blankly for a second. "Not really, man."

I roll my eyes and walk away, over to Tris. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. I rest my head on her shoulder.

"Hey," she whispers.

"You're about to make me barf!" Mar yells jokingly. Only Zeke, Will, and Chris are drunk.

"Shut up, Mar," Tris says.

"You guys act like a couple of newlyweds," Uri comments.

"Do you just want to leave?" I whisper into her hair.

She nods. "We're leaving. I'm taking another margarita, too," she says as she sticks her tongue out at all of them.

I meet her by the door and we leave. She with her drink in one hand and mine in the other.

"Staying the night, I presume?" I ask as she walks into my apartment.

"If that's alright?" she asks.

"Perfect." I smile.

She smiles back. Damn, that smile. It takes the breath straight out of me.

We take our shoes off and head over to the couch.

She sets her drink down on the coffee table.

"Why do they call this the coffee table? I mean sure, people put their coffee on it sometimes, but what about people who don't like coffee? I just set my margarita on it, so shouldn't it be called a margarita table?" she thinks aloud.

I laugh and shrug my shoulders. "I guess."

She lies down on the couch. It's around 11:30 now.

"I'm tired. Can we go to bed?" she asks, her eyes shut.

"Nope. We're watching a movie." I smile.

"What the hell, Tobias?"

"It's a horror movie. It ought to keep your heart racing so you'll stay awake." I wink.

She groans.

I lie on the outside of Tris, wrapping my arms around her waist. The lights are already off.

She turns in my arms and buries her face into the crook of my neck.

"Aw, scared already, babe?" I tease.

"No," she says in a stern voice. "Just tired. I'd go in your bedroom, but what's the point in staying here if I can't be by your side?" she mumbles.

I smile at that. I kiss the top of her head. She slowly drifts off after about a half hour, and I find myself doing the same. I carry her and myself to the bedroom. I set her down under the covers and put myself under them too. She shuffles a bit and finds the position she was in on the couch.

I drag out a quiet, happy sigh, very content with my life. Just a mere two months ago I was miserable. Now, here I am, with the only person on Earth I want to be with.

_I can't face the dark without you, either, Tris. Trust me. _


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

_Shit's bout to go down at the end of this chapter ;)_

**Tobias P.O.V.**

"So, what do you want to do today?" I ask Tris as we lie in bed. We both just woke up a few minutes ago.

She shrugs.

"That doesn't help." I playfully glare at her.

"Do you care if I shower here?"

"Not at all." I smirk.

"Do you mind if I wear one of your shirts? Mine is all wrinkled and I'd rather not look like a whore." She chuckles shyly.

"Of course." I get up and walk over to my closet, pulling out my smallest shirt that's a dark red.

"Thanks." She heads into the bathroom.

I change into my new clothes for the day and make the bed.

I hear a loud buzzing coming from my nightstand and soon realize Tris's phone is ringing. I go over and look at the caller ID, but it's an unknown number. I decide to answer it anyway.

"Tris's phone, who is calling?" I say.

"Who's this?" a female voice questions.

"I asked first," I say sternly.

"You're Four. I can tell by the harshness in your voice. Why are you and Tris together so early anyway? Oh, you guys spent the night, I'm guessing. She doesn't tell me these things."

"Who the hell is this?" I ask, irritated.

"Four! I'm hurt, you know. I can't believe you wouldn't remember your good ol' friend Lynn!"

I physically facepalm, making a loud _smack _on my forehead.

"You hated me, Lynn," I point out.

"Aw, really? I guess we'll have to start over when I move out there with you guys."

"So you're actually going to move?" I groan jokingly.

"Yeah. Now we can insult each other all the time!"

She is about to continue, but Tris yells from the bathroom, "Dammit, Tobias, what the hell is this shit?!"

"Ah, so you're name is Tobias!" Lynn exclaims. "I've always wondered."

"You don't tell anyone," I say cruelly. "I'll be right back."

I walk into the bathroom, annoyed. Not at Tris, but at Lynn.

"What's wrong, Tris?"

"What. Is. This?" She sticks her arm out of the curtain revealing my two in one conditioner/shampoo.

"Um, cleaning accessories?" I laugh, even though I'm not in the best mood.

She groans. "I'm buying you and me some real shampoo today. Plus, I really don't want to smell like a guy all the time."

I chuckle. "Okay, we can do that today."

"I'm just going to get out now. I've never been girly, but I legitimately cannot use this shit."

"Legitimately?" I ask.

"Everyone always says literally, so I say legitimately. Swimming against the tide, you know?"

I laugh. "I guess." I walk out the door.

I pick up the phone again, but don't get to say a word before Lynn does.

"Have Tris call me. Don't tell her my decision." She hangs up.

Well, okay then. _Goodbye to you too, Lynn_, I think.

I hear a soft humming coming from the shower. I quietly walk in since Tris is still in the shower.

"You're gone and I got to stay high, all the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh. High all the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh. Spend my days locked in a haze, tryin' to forget you babe, I fall back down. Got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you," Tris sings.

I sit on the toilet—with the lid on, of course—and listen to her voice.

She stops singing and turns off the water. She steps out in her towel, not even realizing I'm in here.

"Never thought I'd hear pop song lyrics coming out of your mouth." I smirk.

She jumps at the sound of my voice. She blushes since she's only in a towel. Then shrugs. "It's like the only pop song that gets stuck in my head. I just really like it. It reminds me of you." She smiles shyly.

"How's that?" I stand up and walk toward her slowly.

When she says this, she doesn't break eye contact. "I can't get you off my mind." She pauses. "Super corny, I know." She smiles and looks away.

I don't say anything. I just close what little space remains by kissing her.

She smiles once she pulls back and pushes me out the door. After a few minutes, the door opens. Since my red shirt was so big on her, she tied it around with a ponytail holder in the back. She has on a pair of black skinny jeans with it. She's currently braiding her hair.

"We're going to need to go back to my place before we walk around town." She chuckles and looks at the shirt she's wearing.

"Aw, but you look cute in my shirts." I wink.

She rolls her eyes. "You also don't have a blow-dryer, so… yeah." She finishes her hair. She puts toothpaste on her toothbrush.

"Fine." I scrunch my nose.

"Wha're we doin' ooday anwayh?" she asks with a mouthful of toothpaste.

I shrug and think for a few minutes. "I could ask the gang—excluding Nicole—if they wanted to go to the beach us? We don't have to if you don't feel up for it though. Just kind of thinking out loud here."

She nods, finishing her brushing of the teeth. "That sounds fun, but I can't borrow any Chris's bathing suits…"

My eyebrows furrow. "Why not?"

"Because none of them will be one-pieces," she says shyly.

"Tris, if you think you're fat, you're not." I smile sincerely. "You have a gorgeous body.

"Dammit, Tobias." She undoes the ponytail on my shirt she's wearing and takes it off. She turns around, revealing her back.

The scars.

"Oh my god, Tris. I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. We really don't have to go—"

She gives a small smile and shakes her head. "It's okay. I have a bathing suit back at my place that covers everything. Don't worry about it."

"Can I show you something?"

"Anything, Tobias."

I take a deep breath and pull off my shirt. "When I was about thirteen or fourteen, my father would beat me, but it soon stopped after a year when his boss forced him to see a therapist. His boss only knew that he was often drunk, not about me. Anyway, what triggered his malevolence was my mom's absence when I was about eleven. He beat her, too, which was why she left. But what she hadn't known was that he'd started beating me after she'd disappeared. So, I got that tattoo you're touching right now to cover up the scars."

She doesn't stop rubbing my tattoo. "Why flames? Why the words?"

"The flames encase the words. The word brave is at the top because being brave is what I value most. Then selflessness, then honesty, then intelligence, and then kindness. I continually struggle with the last one." I smile and turn around. "We're not so different."

"I guess not," she says with a twinkle in her eye, but I can't seem to place exactly what emotion it is. She lays her palms on my bare chest. "Why is your heart racing, Tobias?" she asks with a smug smile.

"I believe you already know the answer to that question, _babe_."

She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me with a smile still present on her face. She goes back down on her heels and pushes me towards the sink. "Brush your teeth." She scrunches her nose.

My eyes widen. "Does my breath seriously smell that bad?"

She chuckles as she puts her—my—shirt back on. "No. I'm going to go to everyone's places and ask about the beach, alright? I should be back in a few." And with that, she walks out of the bathroom and out the front door.

I brush my teeth and put on swimming trunks. Even if the gang doesn't want to come, it'd still be fun if it was just her and I.

Minutes later, she comes back. "Nobody wants to come since they're all hungover." She chuckles.

"I thought only Will, Chris, and Zeke were drunk?"

"Mar told me Uri ended up getting drunk, too."

"Ah. We can still go though, right?" I ask with hope. "Maybe we could drop in the café and grab a bite afterwards?"

She nods. "That sounds fun."

"Alrighty, let's get you to your apartment." I put on my shirt.

When we walk out the door, she reaches for my hand, just as I am about to reach for hers. I smile down at her and squeeze it.

**-Hours later-**

"Oh, c'mon, just admit it," Tris coerces as we walk towards the café.

"I won't! I solemnly swear that I will not give in," I say firmly.

"Three Days Grace is better than Breaking Benjamin! Although they're my two favorite modern-day bands and Metallica is still the best ever out of everything on this Earth, Three Days Grace is obviously the best modern-rock," she counters.

"Uh uh. No way. Breaking Benjamin's _Dear Agony _and_ Phobia _albums are so meaningful. And you know that I'm generally not a deep person." We both chuckle at that.

"Well, obviously, Eaton. But what about their—"

"Did you just call me Eaton?" I ask.

"Yeah. I've officially decided that's what I'm calling you when we argue. Anyway, what about their _Saturate _and _We Are Not Alone _albums? I hardly ever hear you listening or talking about those."

"I listen to them, just not as much as their last two albums. Just because—"

"Ah, ah, ah, for them to be the best, you have to love every single song by them. And I mean every. Single. One."

I roll my eyes. "That is _so _not true."

We walk into the café and sit at our normal place.

I laugh on the inside. "So not true. I personally really like Three Days Grace, but Breaking Benjamin is just… better."

"You know, I don't think this is going to work out," Tris says seriously, no smile or smirk or hint of emotion present whatsoever.

"I'm sorry?" I lean in, as if I could hear her better.

"I said I don't think this is going to work."

I laugh. It's real, not a dry laugh. "Good one, Tris. I'm not as gullible as you think."

"I'm serious. I mean, c'mon. You like Breaking Benjamin, I like Three Days Grace. I love Metallica, you love Nirvana."

I laugh once again. "Yeah, Tris. Because you'd totally breakup with me after the following: A) spending the night with me, which you gladly conceded in, B) laughing and having a good time today, and C) kissing for most of the day."

She sighs. "I need to plan these things better." She smiles.

"Not that you plan on doing it for real any time soon though." I smirk. "Right?"

She looks away, giving no answer.

"Right?" I ask, reaching out for her hand across the table.

"Yes, Tobias, I plan having a long and serious relationship with you, alright?" she admits. But before I can say anything, she says with a smirk, "Besides, it's not like I can find that many nice guys who genuinely like rock, anyway. You may or may not be good looking, too." She smirks at me.

Just then, the waitress comes to take our order before I have the chance to respond. "My name's Becca and I'll be your waitress this fine evenin'. What can I get y'all to drink?"

"I'll just have water, please," Tris asks politely.

She turns to me.

"Same."

Once the young waitress leaves, Tris says, "Well gosh darn it, isn't that just the dang cutest accent that girly's got?"

I chuckle. "Yours is cuter," I say.

"Ha. Sure." She rolls her eyes in mock annoyance. Then they go to confusion.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and immediately recoil as I see the face, almost falling out of my seat.

"Tobias?" she whispers.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

_**THANK YOU FOR 300 REVIEWS!**_

_To Fourtris Lover (AKA Guest, since I know every single person here is a Fourtris lover, including myself), who asked about my opinion on I Am Machine by Three Days Grace, since I am a die-hard fan of them._

_My answer: I love I Am Machine. I also love Painkiller. I don't really think they sound the same, though. Yes, Matt could improve, but I'm seriously holding my "Expectations" (If you don't get that, I'm ashamed) as high as Adam Gontier right now, and he is like… Godly. I like Matt, but no one can replace Adam. Simple as that. _

_If I had to pick between Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin though, it'd be the old Three Days Grace with Adam. Some of you may know that Breaking Benjamin hasn't been mentioned in my other stories, but it's because I just started listening them. They are almost tied with 3DG. But if I had to pick, it'd be 3DG (with Adam), even though I love Benjamin Burnley (The lead singer of Breaking Benjamin). But if you like 3DG, you'd definitely like BB because they're just as evocative as 3DG._

**Tris P.O.V.**

Holy dear mother of god is Tobias melodramatic. But holy hell, in this situation he has a right to be. It didn't take me long to see the resemblance, but once I did, my jaw dropped and my eyes were wider than the sky.

"What… What are you doing here?" Tobias swallows.

"I live here. In San Francisco. Twin Peaks district, almost by Sunset. Maybe you'd, uh, like to join me? We could talk for a little while. Maybe have some dinner? Alone?" She glances at me.

"I… Tris, could we maybe talk outside for a second?" he asks, looking at neither of us women.

"Of course." I get up and follow him.

We lean against the wall where there's no window so she can't see us.

"You know who that was, right?"

I nod. "Your mom, right?"

"She's not my mother. Biologically, yes. In my view, no. Her name's Evelyn, by the way. Can we ditch?" he asks, looking out towards the water.

"Tobias… As much as you'll hate me for saying this, I think you should do it. Even if it's just a half hour, I think you should. Twenty seconds of insane courage can change your life, and I promise you something good will come out of it." I grab his hand, and he squeezes it, but let's go so he can cross his arms. He stands in an akimbo-like position, legs spread at shoulder width apart and arms crossed.

"Are you insane? She left me!" he says soft, but firm. "She left me with that monster and she expects immediate forgiveness? That's not going to happen. Not now, not ever, Tris. So why don't we just leave?"

"Tobias… I think you'll regret not doing this one day. I mean, your kids wouldn't have a grandmother or grandfather in their lives. What if your wife doesn't have her parents around? Then what?" I ask. I can't help but put myself in that situation of his wife.

He sighs. "Yeah, I know. But my wife probably would have… Whatever. Who says I even want kids, anyway?" he points out.

"You," I simply say. "We talked about it once in high school. Said you wanted two kids. Older girl and a younger boy. The girl's name would be Erin and the boy's name would be Cooper. Also said your dream city to live in was the outskirts of San Fran, which you already seemed to accomplish. So, get your ass in there and at least act like you want to give her a chance. If you won't go in there and talk to her, I will."

"My mom is psychotic. I just don't get why you want me to do it so much."

"Because!" I say resolutely. "You got the chance to actually have the rest of your life with your mom! Do you know what I would give for that again?" I say with tears in my eyes.

He pulls me into his arms and rests his head on my mine.

"I'm so sorry. I'm an inconsiderate asshole. I didn't even bother to think about the situation you're in. Let's… Let's go back in. I don't know how long I'll be able to handle it—." He smirks. "But I'll try.

I look up at him, tears no longer contemporary, so my face is completely dry. "Really?"

He nods. "Yeah."

"But she said she wanted to be alone with you," I remind him.

"Like I give two shits about what she wants." He smirks and grabs my hand, pulling me into the restaurant.

Evelyn looks up.

Tobias nods. "Tris gets to sit with us, or else it's off."

"Okay." She smiles. "I'm just glad you said yes."

"Tris talked me into it," he says while looking over at me as we take our seat. Tobias sits on the inside while I'm on the left. He grabs my right hand under the table with his left.

While Tobias is looking through the menu, Evelyn looks up at me since I'm not reading it. I already know what I want.

_Thank you, _she mouths.

I curtly nod with a smile.

"So, Tobias, do you know what you're getting?" Evelyn asks.

"I prefer to be called Four now. And yes. Chicken Alfredo." He smirks down at me.

I roll my eyes. "He gets that every time, even when he says, 'Hm, that looks good,' he always gets the Alfredo," I explain to Evelyn.

The waitress comes and takes our orders. We notified our waitress Becca that we were moving over with Evelyn.

Evelyn gives a small smile after Becca leaves. "So, I assume you two are…" She glances down to my left hand. "Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

I nod. "We actually knew each other in high school." I look over at Tobias, but he looks deep in thought. "Right, Tobias?" I playfully nudge him with my shoulder.

"Huh? Yeah. We were…" He raises an eyebrow toward me. "Friends? But then Tris had to move out here to go to a music school. So technically we've known each other for five years. We actually ran into each other here at the wharf. Back in high school, she disappeared, not telling anyone where she went. My friends and I decided to move out here. We were both taken aback. And… yeah. Here we are. Tris is in the San Francisco Symphony. As a matter of fact, she gets to perform with Metallica on Monday," he finishes.

"Are you done bragging about me?" I blush.

He smirks. "Yeah."

I'm glad Tobias is involving himself in the conversation. He actually said more than one sentence. But I think he's only comfortable talking about… well, me. Nothing about his personal life.

"Wow, Tris," Evelyn says, "that's quite impressive."

I shake my head and wave her off. She turns to Tobias.

"So, what do you do Four?"

"I'm a cop." He shrugs.

Her eyebrows rise, but then go back down. "Wow. That's great. What's it like?"

He shrugs. "The people I work with are pretty cool. My boss gave Tris and me football tickets."

Aaaaand there it is. Back to me again.

He continues. "We saw the 49ers win. One of the best things I ever did in my life."

Evelyn nods. "All these good things in your life seem to be happening when Tris is around." She simpers at me, almost smug-looking. Like she knows something I don't.

I shrug. "I guess that's up to him."

"I need to go to the restroom, so if you'll excuse me, Tris," Tobias says to me. I get out of my seat to let him out since I'm on the outside.

I sit back down once he leaves. He's obviously uncomfortable.

"Why did you give that smug look a minute ago?" I ask.

"He's clearly in love with you," she says, as if it's the most blatant thing in the world.

I almost laugh. "What? We've been together for two weeks, Evelyn."

"Yes, but you two knew each other in high school, too, and you were visibly something back then."

"We weren't a thing, but we had feelings for each other," I admit.

"All he's talked about so far is you. I'm just saying." She smirks. "I'm just glad he's actually sure about you. You have my approval, by the way. Not that you care, though. I just want you to know that I like you. Anyway, what did you say to him to convince him to sit and talk for a while with me?"

"Well… Ah, we kind of argued for a short time. But I told him he should do it because he might not ever have the chance to, like me. My mom died last week, and I'm still a bit… in dissent about it. But, uh, yeah. I guess you could say I kind of gave him a guilt trip."

"Whatever works, right?" She smiles.

Tobias soon comes back, so I have to get up.

Once we're settled, Tobias is the first to speak up, but not before grabbing my hand.

"Why did you leave?" he asks without looking her in the eye.

"I had to. It was inevitable. I couldn't take you with me. You needed to be in a stable home wi—"

"Stable?" He laughs dryly. "You think that man is _stable_?"

"No, but he granted you, food, shelter, and education. I couldn't provide you any of that. I didn't know how long I'd be on the streets. Please, you have to understand."

"You know that he hit me?" he says in a hushed tone. "That lasted for about a year, and then turned verbal. I'd rather be hit physically rather than be whipped with his cruel words. But I actually don't regret you not taking me, because if you did, I wouldn't be here with the most important person in my life right next to me. So, Evelyn, thank you." Once he is finished, he squeezes my hand a little more tautly.

Evelyn doesn't say anything. If I were her, I wouldn't know what to say either.

"Tobias… I had no idea. It didn't even occur to me that he might take it out on you. Please, you have to believe me," she says with a beseeching look in her eyes. "Please."

He doesn't say anything, just looks outside the window from across the restaurant.

Just then, our waitress Becca drops off our food.

We eat in silence for a few minutes while we eat.

"So," I try to minimize the discomfort, "how's your Alfredo, Tobias?"

Before he can respond, Evelyn asks sincerely, "Why do you let her call you Tobias?"

He immediately responds with, "Because I'm—" he stops himself. "Because I trust her."

Evelyn takes a glance at me and smirks. It was similar to the one she wore earlier.

"You must really love her," she insinuates.

I almost choke on my salad but Tobias doesn't seem to hardly react. He just glances at me and smirks. "Yeah," he says.

He's got to mean it like the other kind of love. We told each other we already loved each other, but we weren't _in _love with each other. Yet, that is. One day, sometime soon, I plan on it. I think I'm even almost there, too.

So I just smile back at him, not giving any of my thoughts away.

Once we finish our food in silence, Becca comes by with our two separate checks.

Tobias pays, of course. I've learned not to argue with him over the check anymore; it's pointless. He insists on being "suave," as he calls it.

"Well," Tobias says once Becca hands us our cards back, "I think Tris and I better get going."

Evelyn smiles. "Okay. Do you mind if I give you my phone number?" she asks timidly.

He looks down and thinks. He gets out his phone and gives it to Evelyn, letting her type in her number as she grins.

I look at him in admiration with a smile. I honestly didn't think he'd do it. Thought he'd say no. Thought he'd get up and walk out, leaving the two of us. But no, he's actually giving her a second chance. Who'da thunk.

He looks back down at me with the smallest of smiles. "Later," he whispers ever so slightly in my ear.

I nod.

Evelyn hands him his phone back with a big smile. She begins to get up, as do we. We walk to the exit and stand outside.

"Well, Four, I'm glad you let me talk to you again. I really hope you don't regret it." She gives a small smile.

Tobias shakes his head then gives her a rudimentary side hug.

"I'll…," Tobias says, "I'll see you soon."

"Okay, goodnight, Four," Evelyn says with the same smile on her face for the past five minutes. "And you too, Tris."

"G'night, Ms. Eaton."

"Actually, I went back to my maiden name, Johnson."

"Oh. Well, g'night, Ms. Johnson." I smile.

"Alright, I'll see you two soon." She gives another small smile and heads off.

As Tobias and I head back towards the main road in the direction of his house, and along the way he grabs my hand. We walk for awhile in silence until we get there and I speak up.

As we walk into his complex I ask, "Why?"

"Why what?" he asks. It's a fair question.

"Why did you give her your phone number? I thought you'd say no."

"You. I didn't want to disappoint you, Tris," he sighs.

"Tobias, you shouldn't let my opinions cloud your judgment."

He shakes his head. "Your opinion didn't cloud my judgment. You just made me realize what the right decision was."

"How did I persuade you that much? How do I have such affect on you so much as to make a life-changing decision?" I ask as he unlocks his door.

We walk in, and he presses me against the door lightheartedly, then he presses his forehead against mine. "Your opinions matter because I'm in love with you."

My eyes go wide. "What?" I whisper, but it comes out hoarsely.

He doesn't say anything, just kisses me without a care in the world. His hands travel down to my hips and rest there. Mine run through his hair and press him closer to me along the way.

He pulls back, hair tousled from obvious reasons. "I don't want you to feel complied when you say it though. I said it pretty quickly, despite the fact that we've only been together two weeks. But then high school happened too, so… Anyway, whenever you want to. Preferably soon rather than later." He smirks.

I wear the same expression. "I'm certainly on my way there."

I kiss him once more. His hands lie on my hips and slip underneath my shirt, and mine travel up and down his spine, tracing the values of his persona. He pulls back and smiles that outstanding smile.

Yes, without doubt, I'm almost there.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

_So… Yeah… This is the last chapter shockingly enough. There's no epilogue, but I do have to tell you all something in the A/N after this chapter is posted. _

**Tris P.O.V.**

It's been seven months. Seven months since Metallica, who was awesome, by the way, seven months since Evelyn, in whom he's forgiven, and seven months since Tobias told me he loved me. I ended up telling him a few days later. I moved in with him about three months ago. All of our friends were pretty ecstatic because now we all live in the same apartment complex. Uriah finally grew the balls to ask Marlene to marry him, and Will the same with Chris. Shauna and Zeke just got married two weeks ago and just got back from their honeymoon. As far as I know, Nicole has a boyfriend and hangs out with him 24/7.

But all of this seems so surreal. Tobias and I have been together for eight months. _Eight months. _I don't know if Tobias plans on getting married someday, but I assume he does. I mean, he wants kids, but I don't know if plans on having them with me. Or if he was serious when he said he wanted kids, for that matter. Yeah, I'd really like to have kids, and having his of all people would be a dream come true. He's nice, strong, loyal, and not mention, hot. How could he get any better? Plus, he puts the toilet seat down. He's absolutely a keeper.

Right now, I'm curled up on the couch at 5:15 waiting for Tobias to get home.

I hear the lock slide and the doorknob wriggle and Tobias comes walking in.

"Hey." I smile. "How was work?"

"Listen, can we talk?" he asks hesitantly. Oh, shit, here it comes. And, here I was thinking about us having kids. I'm rash.

My smile falls and I purse my lips as I move my legs so he has room to sit on the couch next to me.

He sits close enough as to where I know he's probably not breaking up with me.

"Come here, I'm not breaking up with you." He opens his arms.

I nuzzle my head into his neck and he wraps his arm around me.

"You know how much I love you, right?" he asks cautiously. "Well, it's an insane amount because you are the best person in my life and I would never leave you because I love you. A lot."

"Tobias. Spit it out already," I tell him.

He takes a deep breath. "I have to train at some academy in Seattle for four months. I've known about this for awhile, but I've been putting it off because I didn't want either of us to have to worry about it. But now we have to worry about it because I leave in four days," he says all too quickly for me to understand.

I pull out of his grasp and stand up. "What?" I say hoarsely as I process the information. "How could you tell me just now?"

"Tris, I didn't want us to focus on it. I wanted to savor the time we had."

"But it's not like I would have dwelled on it. I would've enjoyed the time we had together while it lasted, but now I barely have the chance." I shake my head as I try to contain the tears in my eyes as I run a hand through my hair.

He stands. "Tris," Tobias says softly as he reaches out to grab my forearm.

I flinch back. "Don't." I pause. "I just… Give me an hour." With that, I walk out the door, slamming it behind me and begin to wonder the halls.

"Tris!" A voice says behind me, but I ignore it. "Hey," Chris says as she catches up. "Do you want ha—" She stops talking once she sees the tears in my eyes. "Did you get in a fight with Four?" She grabs my arms so I'm looking at her.

I slowly nod.

"Oh gosh, come in." She drags me toward her door.

We sit down on the couch.

"So. What happened?" she asks softly.

"Christina!" Will shouts from the bathroom. "We're out of toilet paper!"

I almost chuckle, despite my bitter mood.

"Will, shut up and use a tissue! I'm having girl talk with Tris!" she shouts back.

"Hi, Tris!" he shouts.

"Hey, Will!" I yell back. "Anyway, uh, T—Four, he has to go to a training camp in Seattle for four months. He leaves in four days," I sigh.

"Then what are you doing here? Get your fine booty up down there and spend as much time as possible with that boy!"

"I just… I needed a few minutes. But being in a long-distance relationship is going to be hard, Chris. I don't know what to do." I put my cheeks in my hands.

"Wait, you're not seriously considering breaking up with him, are you?" she asks.

"Oh my god, no. Never. I love him too much to ever do that." I shake my head.

"That boy would be like Ebenezer Scrooge if you left for good." She chuckles.

I give a small smile. "I don't know… He's probably not even considering us having a life together."

"Oh hon." She gives a hearty laugh. "You haven't a clue about what goes on inside that boy's mind, do you?"

I suspiciously raise an eyebrow at her.

She shakes her head with a smirk planted on her face.

"I don't know how you two will live four months without each other," she mumbles. "Now go get your man!" She stands up and pushes me out the door. It's been fifteen minutes since I left.

I walk down the hall and stand in front of my door. I slowly open it to see Tobias on the couch with his head in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees.

His head jerks up though at my sudden movement.

"Tris," he whispers and quickly walks over to me, hugging me tighter than I've possibly imagined. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you so much, but I understand if you need to take a break from me while I'm gone. I understand. But I need you to know that love you, and that I will never stop loving you until the day I die."

I smile up at him and lay a palm on his cheek. "I know." I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his as my palms cup his face. He presses my waist closer to him as I happily sigh.

"Tris," he moans and pulls back a little, but I don't relent. "Tris, we need to talk." I kiss him again and pull back, but my hands remain on his chest, travelling up and down.

"Do we have to right now?" I pout and slip my hands under his shirt, tracing his abs and pecs.

A small guttural noise rises out of his throat. "Yeah. We do."

I lie down on the couch with my head on Tobias's lap.

"What do you want to do?" he asks as he runs a hand through my hair.

"Lay here," I simply say.

"No, Tris, about my… leave of absence, per se. I mean, about… you know, us."

"Well, Tobias, I think it's quite simple, really. I love you, and you love me, so I think we should try it. I mean, you can call and Skype, so how hard can it be? It's only four months," I say like it's no big deal. "Four is my lucky number." I smirk.

He stops running his hand through my hair rest it on my cheek. "I'm going to marry you someday." He smiles widely.

"Oh, really? And why's that?" I wear a shit-eating grin.

"So I can kiss you anytime I want." He smirks. "Are you okay with me doing that? Having to deal with me for the rest of your life?"

"I'm all for it."

**-3 months later-**

**-7:30 A.M.-**

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You've only got one more month. And you talk to him every day, right?" Chris asks as she rubs my back while tears stream down my face.

"Yeah, but I didn't think it'd be this hard, Chris. Sure, I'd never breakup with him. We talk everyday and stuff, but I just really need to see him."

"God, you haven't kissed or had sex with a man in three months. That's what I call devotion." Chris smiles.

I nod. "I don't see anyone that interests me except Four. Wait, I don't see him either," I say sarcastically with a mock laugh.

Chris sighs. "We need to get you to your performance, alright? Let's go." She stands up.

I already did my hair, so all I have to do is my makeup. Once I get to my bathroom, I re-apply my mascara and go out to where Chris is standing. She walks me down to the sidewalk, telling me she'll be there tonight.

Thank God for Christina Schaefer. She's been here with me every step of the way, coming to all of my performances and being the best friend I always wished I had. Now I do, and I couldn't ask for more.

"Alright, bye," she yells as I get into my cab.

I arrive at the Symphonic and sit in my spot behind Crash on the stage after I get my beloved bass.

"What's wrong, Tris? You seem down," he asks as he tunes his violin.

I shrug and do the same. "I just haven't seen Four in three months. I miss him, you know?"

He nods and still doesn't look at me. "That sucks."

Now that, that's definitely normal. He's a better friend than to say things like that. Typically he's push me to talk more about it, not just shrug and say, "Hm, sucks for you."

"Well. What's up with you? Got something on your mind? Usually you care more than that," I point out.

"I always care. You'll see though." He gives a knowing smile.

I suspiciously eye him. "Uh huh."

**-8 o'clock-**

The curtains open, and I begin to hear the illustrious clapping of the audience.

We begin playing _Pathetique. _

I'm in one of those moods again, where I feel invincible. Like nothing can stop me from playing my heart out of this piece to the best of my ability. It's just one of those days where I've bottled up all my emotions and they all pour out in the middle of performance.

We finish quite awhile later, but the curtains don't close like they always do. Instead, everyone starts playing except me and Crash, but he's smirking. I immediately recognize the tune the rest are playing, but it befuddles me as to why they'd play it.

Crash turns around. "This is the part where you cry."

I turn my head to see a man in a dark green camouflage uniform. Tobias. Even though he's not in the military, I assume he had to wear that while he was training. But I can't think. All I can do is fling my arms around his neck and hug him.

"Oh my god." I get tears in my eyes. "Oh my god. I've missed you so much. I can't believe you're home already."

He pulls back, which perplexes me, and smiles. He gets something out of his pocket and drops to one knee.

My hands immediately fly to my mouth. I turn around, giving myself a second to compose, wondering if this is real. But sure enough, there he is when I turn back around, still smiling.

"Tris Prior, I have been in love with you since high school, and I've been wanting to do this for months. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, because you are the most important person in my life, and I can't face the dark without you. You are the most beautiful, talented, robust girl I have laid my eyes on. So, for all of those reasons, will you marry me, Tris Prior?" Tobias opens the velvety box to reveal a striking ring.

As I cry silently with tears dripping down my face and my hands still on my cheeks, I nod. "Yeah. Yeah, I will."

He stands up and engulfs in the warmest hug I've had in months.

He whispers, "I love you so much."

I take a deep breath and smile. "I know."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N

Hey, everybody. Thank you for all of your kind reviews.

**To the following people, who have given me amazing reviews and boosts of confidence over and over.**

**OkayStiff46, ellie2297, TrueDivergentFan, ****BabyCrocodile****, FourEatonFourever, , Ally646, Jillianthefangirl, Fourtris Lover, TheFaultinDivergent, Mockingjay28, SK92Divergent, and so many more that have reviewed. (Sorry if I didn't mention you) **

I know that many of you want me to do one-shots, a sequel, _something._ But I'm not. I'm sorry, but I'm not one of those authors that drag their lives out. For some, they could write entire stories off of mine just about their lives. But I don't really want to do any one-shots, or a sequel. In fact, I've already written the first two chapter of my new story "Just Friends." I know, it sounds cliché, but it's not.

Summary:

Tobias was the fat kid in high school. He got picked on, but he always had one girl by his side. Tris. The popular, smart, not to mention, most attractive, girl in school. He's been in love with her since 15, but she sees him as a brother. Like a close brother, not an annoying, obnoxious, jerk brother. Tobias comes back six years later to his hometown, Evanston, Illinois, as Four, the hot, skinny, player who runs a gym chain called RebBulb. He decided he hadn't liked New York, it was too busy, and too many annoying people just like him. He moves back to his little town, hoping, praying that he will be viewed differently rather than how he was back when he was an eighteen-year-old.  
Tris is working at the local bar as a bartender at The Pit. She's not slutty at all, just there to make money since her family can't afford it until she heads to college. When she sees Four, though, she doesn't believe her eyes. Her best friend—the one who'd been by her side since pre-school, mind you—is stunning. She checked out her _best friend._ Is the friend-zone really inescapable?

So, yeah. There's that. Let me know if you don't like the idea, or whatever. Honestly, if you don't like it, then you can just not read it, because I'm really excited to write about it.

And now the hard part. I'm taking a break from writing.

Only until next Friday, the 21st.

I bet I scared you all.

Anyway, a wise man once said, "If you don't have the time to read, you don't have the time (or tools) to write. Simple as that." –Stephen King.

Point is: I'll be taking a break for a week and a half. That's it. I need to get back to my roots and read. Does it count if I'm re-reading Insurgent for the third time? XD I'll probably read three or four books over the next 11 days, but I promise this will be **EXTREMLY HARD FOR ME TOO. **I'm going completely off grid of FF. I'm not checking my e-mails or reading any FF starting now. So you can PM me about whatever, but I'll respond next Friday. I'm sorry if I'm letting any of you down, but I just need a couple days to get back to my roots, y'know? Please understand? I hope you do.

_**I APPRECIATE, LOVE, WORSHIP, RESPECT, AND ADORE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU SO MUCH, AND THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT. **_

_**-Reese**_


	28. Chapter 28

A/N

WOO!

Just wanted to say that. I reached my goal of 350 reviews for this story, which makes me extremely happy.

QUESTION FROM REVIEWER:

Q: Do you play bass?

A: Lawl. I wish. I've been a long-time lover of orchestral music. I play trumpet XD

And ellie2297 wanted a list of book recommendations, so here:

Over the break, I read the Lunar Chronicles, and holy mother of god was it good. My third favorite series/book. So, for this list I'll just put my favorite books.

**Divergent (Definitely favorite, that's a given.)**

**TFIOS (T_T)**

**The Lunar Chronicles (Cinder, Scarlet, Cress. If you've read these, please PM because I'm having emotional issues after Cress.)**

**The Mortal Instruments (City of Bones/Ashes/Glass/Fallen Angels/Lost Souls/Heavenly Fire)**

**ACID (Extremely good. Action/Romance.)**

**Alice in Zombieland**

**The 5****th**** Wave**

**The Naturals**

**Lovely Vicious (It's kind of short, but definitely a good read.)**

**Hush Hush, Crescendo, Silence, Finale. (Not a very clever final book title name, if you ask me)**

**Angelfall**

***IF YOU ARE A WRITER* It's called "This Is Not A Writing Manual." Clever, right? The cover is crazy, so it catches your attention, which is probably why they named it that too. It's pretty helpful**

**And someone recently asked for a list of bands I like, so:**

**Three Days Grace**

**Breaking Benjamin**

**Evanescence**

**Linkin Park**

**Flyleaf**

**Shinedown**

**Chevelle**

**Starset**

**Seether**

**Skillet**

**You Me At Six (Alternative-Rock. Pretty good)**

**Sick Puppies**

**And how can you forget Metallica?**

Now that that's out of the way… I just want to say thank you again for all the support you guys have given me. It makes me feel like I'm appreciated, because my "friends" aren't that good at being friends. Besides two of them. (Shoutout to Alyssa and Morgan, even though I know they aren't reading this XD They've been there for me a lot, and have told me to keep writing and have been giving really good advice).

Now, I know this is what you all really care about:

Just Friends is officially posted, so go read it if you want. If the idea doesn't appeal to you, then you don't have to read it. I promise you I won't be offended, because there are only certain fanfics I like too.

BEWARE IT MIGHT NOT UPLOAD PUBLICLY UNTIL 4-8 HOURS

***PLEASE PM ME IF YOU'VE READ THE LUNAR CHRONICLES. I NEED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT***

Thank you guys, once again!


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